Tweet

Impact and Influence in Negotiation - There's More Than One Way to Float Your Ideas

Guest post by: Clive Hook

Article Overview: Influencing, persuasion and negotiation is a game of sorts. That doesn’t mean it’s not serious – think World Cup soccer and notice how much a game can exhilarate, infuriate and become the subject of national debate. The analogy of the game is important because it is a reminder that there are rules that apply and expectations that players will abide by the rules – even when they are not spoken or written. As well as rules there are rituals (these are the accepted way of doing things) and one of these seems to be that we “float” our ideas to improve their acceptability rather than ask outright.

Impact and Influence in Negotiation - There's More Than One Way to Float Your Ideas

Influencing, persuasion and negotiation is a game of sorts. That doesn’t mean it’s not serious – think World Cup soccer and notice how much a game can exhilarate, infuriate and become the subject of national debate. The analogy of the game is important because it is a reminder that there are rules that apply and expectations that players will abide by the rules – even when they are not spoken or written. The notion of “fair play” in negotiation is as important as the offside rule in soccer – and the subject of much debate.

All’s fair in love, war and negotiation apparently. Outright lying is not OK but failing to mention something seems OK in many cultures I have worked in. As well as rules there are rituals (these are the accepted way of doing things) and one of these seems to be that we “float” our ideas to improve their acceptability rather than ask outright. Although you may value your personal style of directness, forthrightness and straight speaking this is a time, in my opinion, to play by the particular rules of the negotiation game.

In Richard Hale’s valuable map The Hale Circle of Influence™ the section of the map is “Proposals” – it comes after we have established preferences and before we make plans for future action. If you are to manage your impact, influence and persuasion you need to remain conscious of where you are on the map and choose when to move into this area.

There are two distinct ways to move into this section and it’s important to make a conscious decision about your behaviour. When coaching and training leaders, negotiators and influencers I introduce the difference between “push” and “pull” behaviours and the importance of these two forces in gaining movement during conversations, meeting and negotiations. A “push” behaviour sends something out from you and a “pull” behaviour encourages something from the other person.

In the “Proposals” section of the map, then, you can either make proposals for the other people to consider or you can prompt them to come up with proposals. How those look and sound in practice are

Making Proposals (Push) – Putting forward a suggestion or idea for consideration by others. “I suggest we think about the following as a way forward” or “Can I propose a possible solution here?”

Seeking Proposals (Pull) – Encouraging others to make proposals or suggestions. This is typically with a question like “What thoughts do you have about how to proceed?” In some cases and cultures an even less direct approach may be called for with wording like “I wonder what might be a way to proceed”. This allows the other side to ease into proposing mode – very important in cultures which favour indirect ways of operating.

The best negotiators and leaders know when it’s time to change from pull to push when things aren’t moving and discussions are stalled. As always, you may not be able to directly manage their behaviour – but you can always manage your own.

Related Articles
  Impact and Influence in Action – There’s More than One Way to Float Your Ideas
  Impact and Influence in Action – Where Are They With This Issue?
  Sales Training - Buyer or Seller You Need to Learn to Negotiate
  Impact and Influence in Negotiation – Listen to How They Describe Things
  Negotiation- fundamentals!
  Impact and Influence in Action – What Might be Possible?
  Impact and Influence in Negotiation: Notice Where Their Focus and Energy Is
  Negotiation Success Step Two Do Your Homework
  ESCALATION AS A NEGOTIATION STRATEGY
  How writing sales prospecting emails and negotiation emails is different
  "How To Avoid The most Costly Mistakes Most People Make When Negotiating - Part 2
  Sell Sell Sell Negotiation Skills are Key
  Eliminate Ranges From Your Negotiating Vocabulary
  Impact and Influence: A Key Competency for Top Performers
  Influencing vs Negotiating
  The Path to Success: What the Most Effective Leaders Do to Gain Support and Commitment
  Negotiation Techniques - How to Win by Not Negotiating Against Yourself
  3 Good Ways to Get Wows From Your Holiday Season Business Networking
  Strike a Profile for Profit and Dress to Conquer the World Every Day!
  Ten Things You Can Do To Improve Your Strategic Influencing

Article Tags: influencing skills, influencing skills training, negotiation skills, negotiation skills training



Related Forum Posts
Re: Interested in Pinterest? - This means pinterest is here to stay and this is what ideas is all about. Ideas make the world go round. Ideas is the fuel of this economy.
Re: QUESTION: What was the last book you read? Would you recomme - Right now I'm reading [i:3d7bb3lw]How to Win Friends and Influence People[/i:3d7bb3lw] by Dale Carnegie. I'm not finished yet but I can already say that I highly recommend it!
Re: A Post About Posts - Great to be here with you Ideas
Re: Internet Users Hbk http://www.internetscamsanonymous.com - Thanks for the thought Ideas
Favourite Business Books - The November PROFIT magazine looks at the favourite business books of Canada's most successful entrepreneurs. The top 4 are: 1) Good to Great by Jim Collins 2) The E-Myth by Michael Gerber 3) Blue Ocean Strategy by W. Chan Kim and Renee Mauborgne 4) How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Are You An Accidental Consultant?

Tips for the Novice Traveler

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.