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What has Unrealizable Fantasies Got to Do with Being Organized?

Guest post by: Germaine Porche

Article Overview: None of us like to be "should upon." Operating under our "shoulds' creates unrealizable fantasies that wreck havoc with our ability to achieve our goals. See how.

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What has Unrealizable Fantasies Got to Do with Being Organized?

Do you have a picture in your mind of how you think your life should be? When chaos seems to seize the upper hand, we tend to have conversations with ourselves-conversations that, in truth, have no bearing on reality. See if you can hear yourself in any of these: • Things should always go as planned. In other words, nothing should ever go wrong. If only things went as planned, my time-management system would work perfectly and everything would be just fine.

• I should never have too much to do. I should always have just the right amount to do in the time I have available. If my to-dos take more time than I have available, whoever made up all those tasks was cruel, stupid, and unfair. Even if it was me.

• I should never make mistakes, and no one else should, either. If I do make a mistake, I'm a bad person and probably incapable of achieving whatever I was trying to do. If someone else makes a mistake in something that affects me, he should disappear forever.

• Life should have no interruptions. I deserve a continual, unbroken cycle of productivity and bliss.

• I should finish everything I start. If there's a chance it won't get done in the time I have available, I probably shouldn't start it in the first place.

Sound familiar? You may be wondering why we're calling these unrealizable fantasies. Think about it, whenever you use words such as should, should always, should never, you're setting yourself up for failure. Not only that, who likes to operate being "should upon?" These unrealistic fantasies can shape our entire relationship to ourselves and our productivity-preventing a real celebration of what is complete and limiting our prospects for the future and how far we are likely to go.

There is a certain freedom, however, in acknowledging what words are shaping these attitudes and recognizing them as fantasies, nothing more. Chaos sometimes prevails, no matter how hard we try to avoid it.

You can experience a release, an unburdening, a sense of lightening up by merely acknowledging these ideals for what they are: unrealizable fantasies. We're not advocating that you should be disorganized or not care about managing your life. What we do suggest is that, for most people, the source of feeling disorganized, guilty, and upset comes not from what you are or are not doing, but from the unrealizable fantasies that continue to play in the background, invalidating all you do and inhibiting action toward future goals.

Master your words, own chaos, and acknowledge and appreciate what you have achieved!

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Home > Management > Germaine Porche > What has Unrealizable Fantasies Got to Do with Being Organized >
Article Tags: accomplishment, attitude, managing, organization, reality, should

About the Author: Germaine Porche
RSS for Germaine's articles - Visit Germaine's website

Germaine Porche is an expert in coaching leaders. She is President and co-founder of Eagle's View Consulting, an international coaching and management consultancy. Fortune 500 companies invite Germaine to speak and train their management teams while professional coaches come to her for coaching and to perfect their skills. Germaine is co-author, with her partner Jed Niederer, of the bestselling coach's guidebook: Coach Anyone About Anything: How to Help People Succeed in Business and Life, listed among Amazon.com's Top 100 Business Books; the CD series, Ask The Coaches; and the new bestselling humor series, COACHING SOUP for the CARTOON SOUL. She recently released a completely new book, Coach Anyone About Anything: How to Empower Leaders and High-Performance Teams.

Germaine holds a B.A. in Management from Our Lady of the Lake University in San Antonio, Texas and an M.S. degree in Organization Development from American University and the NTL Institute (National Training Laboratories). She is a certified practitioner and facilitator of several behavioral styles profile and psychometric instruments. Germaine is a Life Member of CoachLab International - Society of Professional Coaches and serves on the Advisory Board.



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