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Raising A Family While You Work

Written by: James Chan

Article Overview: The story of Margie Brogan, a labor arbitrator, on how to raise a family as she runs a business.

Raising A Family While You Work

One of the paradoxes of being in business on your own is that you are more aware than most employees that you rely on others to survive. It~{!/~}s difficult to achieve independence without having some people in your family, your community, and your profession on whom you can depend.

Such people become an informal support mechanism: They listen to our complaints, keep us from becoming too self-absorbed, and help us with routine chores when a deadline looms. Such people are lifesavers, but they can sometimes become problems too.

Margie Brogan, a labor arbitrator, knows this more than most. Her profession is about resolving conflicts between competing interests. Likewise, different aspects of her career and personal life are frequently in conflict, and she can~{!/~}t deal with them like the calm, blindfolded figure of justice with her scales. Finding a balance often means she has to scramble.

Being an arbitrator is typically an old man~{!/~}s profession, the sort of thing some people do part-time in retirement after they have spent a lifetime making contacts. Margie is a mother with three children who works at the job full-time. When I talked with her, she was booked up 10 months in advance. She is doing very well after some lean years when assignments were scarce.

Margie, a lawyer, was on the staff of the National Labor Relations Board for six years. She liked the work, but when she had her first child, she cut back to three days a week to spend more time with her. When she had a son a couple of years later, she quit the job altogether, intending to freelance and to teach labor law part-time at a nearby university. In 1990, she set herself up in business as an independent labor arbitrator.

During that time, she saw herself as a mother first, which was a good thing because cases were far and few between. It~{!/~}s the nature of the job that it will take lawyers, judges and union leaders a few years to become aware that you are available. Fortunately, her husband had a good job with sufficient income to support the family.

While Margie had sought a job that would give her the flexibility to be a good mother to her children, she still wanted to have a profession. Some of her most difficult moments came on those occasions when she did get work. Fortunately, she lived in a very close-knit neighborhood in the Philadelphia suburb of Narberth. She had frequently watched her neighbors~{!/~} children when their parents had an emergency, and, when she began to be busy, she called in a few of these favors and sent her children to stay with the neighbors.
Margie believes that had she lived in a less friendly or caring neighborhood, she would have had a more difficult time making her business work. She says her business wouldn~{!/~}t support the cost of full-time daycare for her three children, and even if it did, that~{!/~}s not what she wanted. ~{!0~}I could not have raised a family and built a business outside of the community,~{!1~} she says. ~{!0~}Friends and the community have made it all possible.~{!1~}

Margie seems to be striking a good balance, overall, but she is the first to acknowledge that, as her business has grown, there have been tensions between her maternal and professional roles. When her youngest child was born six years ago, she stayed up late the night before his birth writing a decision, then dropped it off on the way to the hospital. Once, when her business was just starting to take off, she was called by a reporter for a major newspaper as her children screamed in the background. She asked the reporter to call back in five minutes, turned on the television, filled the coffee table with junk food, and took the telephone into the closet.

She is quick to point out that the noise wouldn~{!/~}t have distracted her. ~{!0~}I can work with two TVs on,~{!1~} she boasts. ~{!0~}I~{!/~}ve learned to work anyplace, anytime with any amount of noise.~{!1~}

Nevertheless, she recently moved into an office of her own, not far from her house, largely to keep her distance from some of the people who have been so helpful to her as her business developed.

~{!0~}When you work out of a house, people don~{!/~}t view you as working,~{!1~} she says. ~{!0~}One time, I was in the midst of a conference call with two lawyers, and a friend walked into the house and started talking to me as if I weren~{!/~}t doing anything at all. Now, when I go to my office, friends realize that I am really working.~{!1~}

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Article Tags: 10 months, independent labor, labor arbitrator, labor law, labor relations board, lean years, lifesavers, margie, national labor relations, national labor relations board, nature of the job, nearby university, paradoxes, personal life, profession, resolving conflicts, routine chores, scales, support mechanism, union leaders



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Re: Kevin. What happened to all others moderators? - Hi Carol, It's good to see you back. Family comes first. Take your time.
Re: POLL: What one thing... - Family and friends support is very important, especially at the beginning when it's hard. I didn't have any support, until my family saw the first check and since then I have all the support I need.
Re: Five Personality Traits of Successful Business Owners - 1. Focus 2. Ability to Adapt 3. Hard Work 4. Good planning 5. People Skills
Re: Books for the Entrepreneur - Another great book for internet entrepreneurs is The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferris MichelleJ
Try wikipedia.com for more information - That depends what type of business you are involved in. Maybe if you share that, we can help you a little better. I work mostly in the Work at Home industry so my advice would only be along those lines.


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