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R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Written by: Rebel Brown

Article Overview: Aretha had it right about respect. We want it, we need it and we don't get enough of it.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Aretha had it right about respect. We want it, we need it and we don't get enough of it.

That makes for an interesting situation doesn't it? What happens in our society when one of the basic foundations of a civilized world - respect and courtesy - is a rare commodity? I'm not saying we're all disrespectful. I know lots of people who are kind and courteous gentle men and women.

But I also see a lot of disrespect - from snide not-really-under-the-breath asides to full blown bullies who are nasty to anyone they deem 'beneath' them. The business traveler screaming at the airline gate agent because a snowstorm closed the airport and he needs to leave NOW. The well-dressed woman raging at the sales clerk for not having the lipstick she wants in stock. What a crisis that is.

Our mothers would be ashamed of us.

Leading strategy brainstorming sessions for clients is an interesting dance. Invariably some folks will shoot down every idea other than their own. I call it 'rolling on top of the ball'. If I put someone else down, I'm above them. So the key to my 'winning' is to roll others under the ball while I climb on top and thump my chest. It's not exactly a behavior conducive to brainstorming or team building.

I intercept the naysayers - nicely but firmly. First they argue with me. Then they get disrespectful and try to roll me under the ball. When I refuse to react, politely focusing back on the goal of limitless brainstorming, they get sullen and retreat into silence.

That's better I suppose - at least we move forward. Often these naysayers are leaders in the organization. What does that say about the culture, or lack thereof? Yet usually the rest of the team accepts the petulant behavior without a flinch. "Oh, that's just Joe." Say what?

Are we disrespectful out of habit?

Have we become so accepting of disrespect in our quest for performance that we don't care anymore? Do some swagger to promote their own self-importance regardless of the impact on others? And do we 'others' accept the disrespect of colleagues due to habit as well? Do we chalk it up to stressed out people unaware of their thoughtlessness?

Maybe it is a habit. Maybe the 'Joes' are clueless about their behavior. Maybe we're so focused on visibly being 'ahead' or 'winning' that we don't care who we step on to get there. Regardless of the reason - I have to ask. What are we teaching our children, the next generation of leaders?

The leaders of ancient Rome took the path of disrespect and self-importance.

I think it's time we changed our course.

Related Articles
  Trust and Respect
  Values
  Respect is the main aspect to life and business
  Simplicity & Dignity
  “Your Business Coach’s Top Ten Tips on How to Demonstrate Respect Where You Work and While You Work There”

Article Tags: airline gate, asides, bullies, business traveler, civilized world, disrespect, foundations, gentle men, habit, lipstick, men and women, naysayers, rare commodity, sessions, silence, snide, snowstorm, stock, team building



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