The Tower of Babble

It's one of the most important things we do. After all, pretty much everything, in business and in life, is based on communicating.

Since we have the same vocabulary, same language (country to country) and are taught the same grammar - we'd think communication would be the easiest thing in the world.

So why do we have so much trouble getting on the same page sometimes?

Every communication is unique, based on our own experience.

What one person takes one way, another may take in a different way. What one expert assumes is a known fact, some may not know at all. Some may have a different perspective on that same fact. If we base communication on that 'known' - well, we are in trouble.

Yet we do just that every day.

Take for example my horse trainer Deb. When we first started working together, we had a really hard time getting into sync. After some struggles - we finally realized that Deb's knowledge was based on principles of natural horsemanship - and mine was based on the 'normal' approach I learned in my younger years. Deb's basis was totally different from mine - so we couldn't communicate efficiently. Once we backed up, reviewed some fundamental principles and got in sync - everything got better.

Communication happens when we base our discussions on a common experience.

Everyone hears a bit differently - based on their experience, history, knowledge and perceptions. How many times have you been knee deep in a discussion, wondering why the other person isn't 'getting it' - only to find that they were on a different track than yours?

When communicating - we have to take those differences into account. We have to plan for them.Yet everyone has a different experience, so how do we embrace all of those variations in our audiences?

We can't.

It's impossible. There are too many variations out there. As many as there are people. But don't despair. Since we can't cover all the perspectives, we simply bring the perspectives into alignment with our own.

How?

By providing a common experiential framework for everyone. We can begin our communication by laying a common groundwork for all. We can set the stage, frame the contextual and situational aspects of our communication focus.

We can share a common starting point with our audience.

It doesn't have to take a long time, be a deep discussion. We can frame our communication focus in a few select, high impact words. Authors do it all the time. They bring us into a book in one sentence or less. My favorite example of building a great communication basis?

"It was a dark and stormy night."