The other day, someone recommended a book to me by David Schwartz, called “The Magic of Thinking Big”. I loved the title, and immediately went out and bought it. I haven’t finished it yet, but its central message really resonates with me, and with something I once read by Michele Lisenbury Christensen. She said that one of her biggest mistakes in business was trying to avoid failure.
I could really identify with this, because when I first started Salad, I was terrified of making a mistake. It took a tremendous leap of faith to even use the name ‘Salad’ because it was so different to everything else out there. Almost without exception, whenever I’ve been having difficulties in my business, it’s been because I’ve been trying to avoid failure instead of go for what’s possible. Why is this?
Neurology is goal-seeking
Human neurology is goal-seeking, and negation is handled by the unconscious mind in a different way to how it’s handled in language. When someone says that they don’t want to fail in some way, we understand consciously what that means. But the message they are sending to their unconscious is still one of failure (to even understand the concept of failure a person has to make an internal representation of it, and this is what the unconscious then uses to organise around).
1) If there is something you’ve been trying to avoid (failure, rejection, poor results of some sort), re-state what you want as a positive.
From “I want to lose weight” to “I want to be slim”
From “I want to get out of debt” to “I want to be financially solvent”
From “I don’t want to lose this deal” to “I want to close this deal”
I know this is basic, but I’m still amazed at the number of NLP-trained people I hear saying what they don’t want instead of what they do.
When I first learned this, it was a real a-ha moment, and I shifted all my goals from being stated in the negative to being stated in the positive. So far so good, and on one level this made a really big difference. But on another level, I was still trying to avoid failure, and had just found a different way of talking about it.
See, my ‘positive’ goals had still been defined in relation to what I didn’t want.
The conscious mind is comfortable with the concept and the energy of avoiding failure. In business, I spent lots of energy getting people booked on trainings because I was afraid of running a training with not enough people on it. In my personal life, I focused on sorting out my finances because I was afraid of being in debt.
Fear can be a useful motivator (often referred to as an ‘away-from’ strategy), but it is not a useful focus for one’s life. Some of the wealthiest people I know, people who have vast personal fortunes, live in fear of poverty. Their happiness is index-linked!
The way to get out of this trap is to set a goal that is much bigger than avoiding failure; to create a vision that is so inspiring that, even if it seems impossible, it still lights your fire.
To achieve a goal like this, you need to let go of conscious control and trust your unconscious.
I once heard Tom Peters (business guru) say “One of my favourite quotes is by Mario Andretti who said “If you feel like you’re in control, you’re not going fast enough””.
This also applies to business and life. If you orient around avoiding failure, you’re conscious mind gets to feel like it’s in control, but the results are typically uninspiring. To quote Michele “The instant we set our intention on what could be instead of what we want to avoid, we embark on a spiritual adventure”.
For me, the spiritual adventure means trusting your unconscious. Check these out:
From “I want to lose weight” to “I want to be slim, fit & vibrantly healthy. I want to look great naked, and feel fantastic, full of energy and life.”
From “I want to get out of debt” to “I want to be fabulously wealthy, with an abundance of all the good things in life, and making enormous contributions to the world.”
From “I don’t want to lose this deal” to “I want to create amazing business relationships that create genuine value for my delighted clients, and be handsomely rewarded for it.”
2) If there’s an area of life where you’ve been trying to avoid failure, stop and ask yourself “What could be? What would inspire me? What would make me excited, take my breath away, and get me to jump out of bed in the morning?
When I first learned about goal-setting, I was told that they have to be realistic. I disagree. I insist that the big goals in my life be unrealistic. That makes it so much more enjoyable when they show up!
The Magic of Thinking Big - To learn more about this author, visit Jamie Smart's Website.
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Jamie Smart
(Visit Jamie's Website)
Jamie Smart is one of the UK’s finest
Neuro-Linguistic Programming trainers, and
MD of Salad. Salad is an NLP Training
company and one of the world’s leading
source of products for developing NLP
skills.
He believes that people are capable of far
more than they think they are, and that
changing your beliefs and attitudes is the
fastest way to move towards the success
and fulfillment you desire.
Jamie is passionate about people,
happiness and language, and is the creator
of Ericksonian Hypnosis Cards, NLP
Coaching Cards, and Irresistible Influence
Cards, the fastest way there is to learn
the language of NLP. His weekly NLP Tips
newsletter is read by over 15,000 coaches,
managers, therapists and personal
development enthusiasts worldwide.
Salad offers a wide range of materials for
learning NLP, Persuasion & Influence,
Hypnosis, and Happiness. Consumers of
these products range from those in
business and enterprise, to consultants,
entrepreneurs, life coaches and the full
spectrum of people looking to unlock the
power of NLP in their lives. The fast
growing range of Salad products, includes
books, programmes, CD, games etc.
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Magic words propel great ideas towards profitability. Tragic words doom great ideas to failure. Guerrillas know the difference. 
