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Guest post by: Jessica Swanson Become an Author

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There are thousands of articles and blog posts on how small business owners can create giant success on Twitter. Some are good; some are not-so-good. But, the fact remains that Twitter is a marketing platform that needs to be part of your overall small business marketing plan. However, instead of doling out advice on how to boost your followers, generate more leads and make more sales, let’s get back to the basics. At the end of the day, Twitter is about using plain old common sense.

The “rules” of Twitter (if there are indeed rules) are exceedingly simple: share, educate, interact and be nice.

And, if you decide to rebel against the Twitter community, the rules are also incredibly simple: your followers will abandon you.

So, for all of you Twitter rebels, here are 50 ways to ensure that you will get “unfollowed” quickly and consistently:

1. DM every one of your new followers with an impersonal auto-reply message.

2. Select one of the plain, default backgrounds that Twitter provides.

3. Leave all the information on your profile blank.

4. Select a Twitter handle that sounds spammy (i.e. Twitter.com/sheurese3213).

5. Use a picture of your dog as your profile picture (just until you find a good one of yourself).

6. Post a daily weather report (perhaps even several times a day).

7. Don’t reply when a follower asks you a question.

8. Share ultra-personal stuff with your Twitter community.

9. Write about your kids over and over (and over) again.

10. Swear.

11. Retweet everything. (Who cares if it applies to your followers?)

12. Follow 2,000 people while only 20 people follow you.

13. Blow your own trumpet as loudly as possible.

14. Sell, sell, sell!

15. Be rude.

16. Tweet out broken links.

17. Make a racist remark.

18. Boast about how much money you make.

19. Air someone else’s dirty laundry.

20. Never contribute an original thought.

21. Post daily links for followers to download your “free report.”

22. When someone stops by to say “hi,” pay no attention to them.

23. Constantly update your followers with your dog’s latest antics.

24. Argue with a follower publicly.

25. Stalk people you admire and constantly engage in a conversation with them.

26. Be a “know-it-all.”

27. Take credit for other people’s Tweets.

28. Tweet about ways to “increase Twitter followers.”

29. Post the same Tweet 47 times.

30. Use biting sarcasm regularly.

31. Share a juicy secret that you weren’t supposed to tell.

32. Tweet about what you’re having for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

33. Brag about your follower count.

34. Rant about your personal frustrations.

35. Send out daily pictures of your cat.

36. Rage about why you unfollowed someone and why.

37. Update your status once or twice a month.

38. Boast about your unbelievable product or service.

39. Misspell a word or two in each of your Tweets.

40. Educate your followers about the “rules of Twitter.”

41. Share personal misfortunes (or better yet, the misfortunes of others).

42. Gossip publicly about someone you dislike.

43. Tell an inappropriate joke.

44. Have your VA “pretend” to be you. (Who will ever know?)

45. Continuously complain.

46. Ask boring questions that no one wants to answer like, “So, how is everyone today?”

47. Lie, exaggerate and misrepresent yourself.

48. Ladies: show off pictures of yourself in an itty-bitty, yellow-polka-dot bikini.

49. Gentlemen: display the latest picture of you sporting your new, red Speedo.

50. Remain a mind-numbingly boring small business professional at all times – never let your true personality shine through!

Obviously, this list is only a partial compilation of ways to irritate anger and annoy your Twitter followers. The possibilities are endless.

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