A Sample Sales Letter that Works
A Sample Sales Letter that Works
Unfortunately, I get emails from business owners every so often telling me that they "tried using direct mail" and it didn't work for them.
You know what I immediately think when someone tells me that?
They probably didn't do it right and that's why they got such a dismal response.
So sometimes I tell the person, "Send me your letter so I can take a look at what you mailed out." And after seeing the letter...9 times out of 10...
...It Was a Piece of Crap!
Sorry to use such strong words, but that's usually what people send out. Crap.
(hang in there cause I'm going to show you a great "out of the box" direct mail piece.)
Either that, or they send it out to every Tom, Dick, and Harry and they wonder why they didn't get a response.
1. When someone has requested information from you.
2. To your own house list of customers and clients.
3. To a joint venture partner's house list using your
JV partner's name.
4. To a small, highly targeted list of people who have
proven that they already buy (or are highly interested in) the specfiic types of products and services that you sell.
5. To people in your local neighborhood (if you're a
business whose customers come to you because they live close to your business (i.e. restaurants, dry cleaners, child care facilities etc.)
But even this type of mailing should be targeted.
These are the only situations that I would use direct mail that I can think of (there's probably a few more that I've left out.)
One Caveat: If you have a high ticket product (or one that has a big backend) that appeals to the masses might warrant a mass (spray and pray) mailing, like credit cards or insurance.
Meet Dr. Greg Nielsen...the "Chiropractic Copywriter"
I've complained to you about crappy direct mail letters so I wanted to show you one that I thought was excellent. That's only fair.
I have a friend named Dr. Greg Nielsen.
He's a chirpractor...but to be honest with you...he should be a high paid copywriter.
Dr. Nielsen lives in the small town of Waterford, Wisconsin - - population 17,233.
Although his town is small, Dr. Nielsen makes a very healthy living because he DOMINATES his local market using mostly direct mail to his previous patients.
Dr. Nielsen can flat out...write great copy!
Want to See a Direct Mail Letter that Works?
Here's a recent letter that I received from Dr. Nielsen's office. It was the third letter in a three letter sequence that he sent to me to get me to sign up for his marketing program.
The letter consists of....
1. The letter
2. The order form
3. Testimonials
Take a look at the letter that he wrote to me.
http://url123.com/n2nyu
(Copy and paste the link into your browser.)
Here's What Makes This Letter Outstanding
If you looked at the letter you noticed that there were three parts.
1. The letter.
2. The order form.
3. A testimonial sheet.
Take a close look at the letter and you'll notice the following elements:
Element # 1
The letter is actually written as though his assistant Marie were sending it out.
This one of Dr. Nielsen's famous "Staff Memo" letters, in which it appears as though one of his staff is writing the letter. It's a great hook and makes the letter very interesting.
It also gets people to read the letter because everyone reads, "Staff Memos."
Element # 2
Notice the "From" section at the top of the letter and the date on the right.
This immediately lets the reader know who the letter is from, which is one of the first questions that people have when they pick up a letter. It also first the format of a real memorandum.
Element # 3
This letter has a compelling headline.
In fact, this headline is modeled after the most famous headline in history that was written my John Caples, "They Laughed When I Sat Down at the Piano, But When I Started to Play..."
Great headlines can be modified and used over and over again. If it's a proven winning headline, it will probably work in a lot of different applications.
Element # 4
There is a little plastic tooth attached to this letter. This is called a "grabber" and it creates a letter that is lumpy.
People love to open lumpy mail just to see what's inside. This grabber took some time to attach, but it was probably well worth it. It gets people's attention.
And notice how beautifully Dr. Nielsen ties the grabber into the first paragraph by saying that getting you to respond is "like pulling teeth." That's smart.
Element # 5
"Marie," the writer of the letter, tells us about the first two letters that were sent.
This reminds us that he's tried multiple times to get us to respond. Not just once.
And it also allows him to tell us that this is the last letter that he is going to send us. It's our final opportunity to take advantage of this opportunity.
Element # 6
The final call to action in the last paragraph of the letter gives us exact directions on what we're supposed to do next. He doesn't leave it up to guessing or assumption.
Element # 7
There is a P.S. with an additional bonus offer and a deadline date. Bonuses and deadline dates are extremely important to driving sales.
They simply can't be underestimated.
EVERY good sales letter should have some kind of bonus with a deadline. It works...what more can I say.
Element # 8
The order form is excellent. It is yellow, which makes it stand out from the core sales letter.
It's called a "Fast Response Form" to let people know that it can be used to give a fast response. And the copy on the form have a positive, upbeat tone.
It assumes the sale and reiterates the reward for responding fast.
Element # 9
What is a sales letter without testimonials. A famous marketer once said, "You don't have a product until you have testimonials." Testimonials are so important.
Just this past weekend, Jeff Alderson and Rod Beckwith sold over 200 copies of their new software http://www.PressReleaseEqualizer.com just through me alone, because of one thing.
My testimonial. I created a video of the software that demonstrated the results I achieved using this software and that video created a stampede of buyers.
Testimonials work!
Conclusion
I wanted to forward this letter on to you to show you what a great sales letter looked like. It was unique and very different. It had all the important elements of a winning sales letter.
And by the way, if you are smart, you should give Dr. Nielson $99 to get his direct mail pieces for the next 12 months. They are awesome.
His letters and newsletters comprise some of the very best letters and examples of great copywriting, that I have in my swipe files.
(Why do you think I pay to get his letters myself.)
A Sample Sales Letter that Works - To learn more about this author, visit David Frey's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
You've probably heard how powerful direct mail can be, when done properly.
Unfortunately, I get emails from business owners every so often telling me that they "tried using direct mail" and it didn't work for them.
You know what I immediately think when someone tells me that?
They probably didn't do it right and that's why they got such a dismal response.
So sometimes I tell the person, "Send me your letter so I can take a look at what you mailed out." And after seeing the letter...9 times out of 10...
...It Was a Piece of Crap!
Sorry to use such strong words, but that's usually what people send out. Crap.
(hang in there cause I'm going to show you a great "out of the box" direct mail piece.)
Either that, or they send it out to every Tom, Dick, and Harry and they wonder why they didn't get a response.
1. When someone has requested information from you.
2. To your own house list of customers and clients.
3. To a joint venture partner's house list using your
JV partner's name.
4. To a small, highly targeted list of people who have
proven that they already buy (or are highly interested in) the specfiic types of products and services that you sell.
5. To people in your local neighborhood (if you're a
business whose customers come to you because they live close to your business (i.e. restaurants, dry cleaners, child care facilities etc.)
But even this type of mailing should be targeted.
These are the only situations that I would use direct mail that I can think of (there's probably a few more that I've left out.)
One Caveat: If you have a high ticket product (or one that has a big backend) that appeals to the masses might warrant a mass (spray and pray) mailing, like credit cards or insurance.
Meet Dr. Greg Nielsen...the "Chiropractic Copywriter"
I've complained to you about crappy direct mail letters so I wanted to show you one that I thought was excellent. That's only fair.
I have a friend named Dr. Greg Nielsen.
He's a chirpractor...but to be honest with you...he should be a high paid copywriter.
Dr. Nielsen lives in the small town of Waterford, Wisconsin - - population 17,233.
Although his town is small, Dr. Nielsen makes a very healthy living because he DOMINATES his local market using mostly direct mail to his previous patients.
Dr. Nielsen can flat out...write great copy!
Want to See a Direct Mail Letter that Works?
Here's a recent letter that I received from Dr. Nielsen's office. It was the third letter in a three letter sequence that he sent to me to get me to sign up for his marketing program.
The letter consists of....
1. The letter
2. The order form
3. Testimonials
Take a look at the letter that he wrote to me.
http://url123.com/n2nyu
(Copy and paste the link into your browser.)
Here's What Makes This Letter Outstanding
If you looked at the letter you noticed that there were three parts.
1. The letter.
2. The order form.
3. A testimonial sheet.
Take a close look at the letter and you'll notice the following elements:
Element # 1
The letter is actually written as though his assistant Marie were sending it out.
This one of Dr. Nielsen's famous "Staff Memo" letters, in which it appears as though one of his staff is writing the letter. It's a great hook and makes the letter very interesting.
It also gets people to read the letter because everyone reads, "Staff Memos."
Element # 2
Notice the "From" section at the top of the letter and the date on the right.
This immediately lets the reader know who the letter is from, which is one of the first questions that people have when they pick up a letter. It also first the format of a real memorandum.
Element # 3
This letter has a compelling headline.
In fact, this headline is modeled after the most famous headline in history that was written my John Caples, "They Laughed When I Sat Down at the Piano, But When I Started to Play..."
Great headlines can be modified and used over and over again. If it's a proven winning headline, it will probably work in a lot of different applications.
Element # 4
There is a little plastic tooth attached to this letter. This is called a "grabber" and it creates a letter that is lumpy.
People love to open lumpy mail just to see what's inside. This grabber took some time to attach, but it was probably well worth it. It gets people's attention.
And notice how beautifully Dr. Nielsen ties the grabber into the first paragraph by saying that getting you to respond is "like pulling teeth." That's smart.
Element # 5
"Marie," the writer of the letter, tells us about the first two letters that were sent.
This reminds us that he's tried multiple times to get us to respond. Not just once.
And it also allows him to tell us that this is the last letter that he is going to send us. It's our final opportunity to take advantage of this opportunity.
Element # 6
The final call to action in the last paragraph of the letter gives us exact directions on what we're supposed to do next. He doesn't leave it up to guessing or assumption.
Element # 7
There is a P.S. with an additional bonus offer and a deadline date. Bonuses and deadline dates are extremely important to driving sales.
They simply can't be underestimated.
EVERY good sales letter should have some kind of bonus with a deadline. It works...what more can I say.
Element # 8
The order form is excellent. It is yellow, which makes it stand out from the core sales letter.
It's called a "Fast Response Form" to let people know that it can be used to give a fast response. And the copy on the form have a positive, upbeat tone.
It assumes the sale and reiterates the reward for responding fast.
Element # 9
What is a sales letter without testimonials. A famous marketer once said, "You don't have a product until you have testimonials." Testimonials are so important.
Just this past weekend, Jeff Alderson and Rod Beckwith sold over 200 copies of their new software http://www.PressReleaseEqualizer.com just through me alone, because of one thing.
My testimonial. I created a video of the software that demonstrated the results I achieved using this software and that video created a stampede of buyers.
Testimonials work!
Conclusion
I wanted to forward this letter on to you to show you what a great sales letter looked like. It was unique and very different. It had all the important elements of a winning sales letter.
And by the way, if you are smart, you should give Dr. Nielson $99 to get his direct mail pieces for the next 12 months. They are awesome.
His letters and newsletters comprise some of the very best letters and examples of great copywriting, that I have in my swipe files.
(Why do you think I pay to get his letters myself.)
A Sample Sales Letter that Works - To learn more about this author, visit David Frey's Website.
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David AchesonDavid Acheson is the founder of DCJA Consultancy. DCJA Consultancy is a management consultancy business specialising in B2B sales consultancy. They offer bespoke and packaged sales consultancy including Sales Optimisation Review, Interim Sales Management, Sales & Marketing Review, 1:1 Sales & Management Staff Analysis, Management Training, Solution Sales Training, Creation of New Pay Plan, KPI's, run Customer Feedback Campaigns, assist with Recruitment, Coaching, Appraisals and set up Strategic Marketing Campaigns. David spent his early career in accountancy and then moved into sales in 1982, working in Office Equipment, IT, Advertising, Training, Outsourcing and Consultancy. He has held many Senior Positions in SMBs and Global Organisations including Head of Sales Operations & Head of Business Development. His knowledge, skills and great experience of the Sales Industry has led to David making keynote speeches and running educational sessions to key businesses through organisations including The Chamber of Commerce and Business Link. - Visit David Acheson's Website |
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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Linda RichardsonLinda Richardson is the Founder and Executive Chairwoman of Richardson, a global sales training and performance improvement company. As a recognized leader in the industry, she has won the coveted Stevie Award for Lifetime Achievement in Sales Excellence and she was identified by Training Industry, Inc. as one of the “Top 20 Most Influential Training Professionals.” Ms. Richardson is credited with the movement to Consultative Selling and is the author of ten books on selling and sales management, including Sales Coaching — Making the Great Leap from Sales Manager to Sales Coach, and Stop Telling, Start Selling. She teaches sales and management at the Wharton Graduate School of the University of Pennsylvania and the Wharton Executive Development Center. Linda is a frequent speaker at industry and client conferences, has been published extensively in industry and training journals, and has been featured in numerous publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Nation’s Business, Selling Power, Success, and The Conference Board Magazine. Learn more about Richardson's sales training and performance improvement solutions at http://www.richardson.com web - Visit Linda Richardson's Website |
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John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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Anne BarrAnne Barr has over 26 years experience in sales and marketing, six years as a franchisee. She has assisted over 367 business owners and purchasers to achieve their goals in career change, transition and exit strategy. She holds the designation of Certified Franchise Executive from the International Franchise Association, Certified Business Intermediary from the International Business Brokers Association and Board Certified Broker from the Texas Association of Business Brokers. Anne is active in professional organizations, networking groups and volunteers for non-profit entities. As owner/operator of four successful businesses, Anne has proven people skills and enjoys helping clients find the right "fit" in business ownership. Visit www.FranchiseOpportunitySpecialist.com for more information about me and my company. - Visit Anne Barr's Website |
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