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The Power of Active Listening

Written by: Donald F. Pooley

Article Overview: Back when my youngest son was in his troublesome teens, my wife and I took a course on Parent Effectiveness Training. It was an eye-opener, because we discovered that we were not really listening to him. We should have 'Actively Listened'.

The Power of Active Listening

Back when my youngest son was in his troublesome teens, my wife and I took a course on Parent Effectiveness Training. It was an eye-opener, because we discovered that we were not really listening to him. We should have 'Actively Listened'.
Active listening, I subsequently realized, is what the top salespeople do. They actively listen to their prospects to learn as much as they can about them. They focus on what their prospects find interesting.
But what do prospects find interesting?
In his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie said, "People are most interested in themselves".
If you want to be considered a great conversationalist, said Carnegie, you should state practically nothing. Instead, ask questions about the other person.
So the secret to being an interesting conversationalist is to figure out how to keep turning the conversation back to the other person---his interests, wants, and needs, as well as his thoughts, opinions, and accomplishments.
Start by speaking in the second person. Instead of saying "I think this" or "I want to do that," try beginning sentences with "you," as in "You may like what we have planned for …" or "You probably have a good idea about how we should …"
This is, admittedly, a bit manipulative. But it manipulates you as well as the listener. It pushes you to consider his interests -- and that can result in a conversation that is truly more interesting to him.
Other things you can do to encourage poor listeners to listen to you are:
* Ask for feedback: "I'd like to hear your reaction to …"
* Make analogies to their favorite subjects: "My plan is like having three all-star pitchers in the bullpen …"
* Make positive statements to encourage their participation: "That's a very important and useful point you just made …"
Though Carnegie was talking about active listening as a tool to 'Win Friends and Influence People', it is also a key to developing a strong rapport with your prospects, clients, and centres-of-influence.
Lawrence Geller says "Top performers always ask questions. They are interested in their clients, and want them to speak openly about their goals. The more that an agent knows about what clients wants to have happen with their family, their business, their interests, the better able the agent is to discuss the available options with them."
Active listening is a skill you can learn. Practice it on your family, and friends. They'll be amazed at what a 'nice, sensitive' person they feel you've suddenly become.
And your clients will love you!

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