Q: I want to start a business selling products and/or services over the Internet, and I think word-of-mouth marketing would really help attract traffic. My question is, how do I overcome the obstacle of being an incorrigible cave dweller? I have never been a good mixer--it's just not my style. Are there ways I can work around this weakness, or must I become an extrovert in order to succeed?
A: In her book Skills for Success: A Guide to the Top for Men and Women, Adele Scheele describes a cocktail party where she met someone who was hesitant to introduce himself to total strangers. Scheele suggested that he "consider a different scenario for the evening. That is, consider himself the party's host instead of the guest." She asked him, if he were the host, wouldn't he introduce himself to people he didn't know and then introduce them to each other? Wouldn't he make sure people knew where the food and drinks were? Wouldn't he watch for lulls in conversations or bring new people over to an already-formed small group?
Scheele's new acquaintance acknowledged the obvious difference between the active role of the host and the passive role of the guest. A host is expected to do things for others, while a guest sits back and relaxes. "There was nothing to stop this man from playing the role of host even though he wasn't the actual host," Scheele concluded. And there is nothing to stop you from being far more active when you're with a large group of people, either.
Along this line, I recommend that you volunteer to be an ambassador, or a visitor host, at the networking groups you belong to--someone who greets all the visitors and introduces them to others. If you see visitors sitting, introduce yourself and ask if they'd like to meet other members.
If there are many other visitors to meet, ask another member to help you by introducing the visitor to the rest of the membership so that you can get back to meeting new visitors. By using this technique, you'll start to develop excellent networking skills and get great exposure to many business professionals in a short time. Over the years, I've found that people who are naturally shy or uncomfortable have great success using this technique.
A distinguishing characteristic of self-made millionaires is that they network everywhere. Most important, they do it all the time--at business conferences, at the health club, on the golf course or with the person sitting next to them on a plane. This fact alone should motivate you to place yourself in situations where you can meet new people. As you feel more comfortable with this process, you'll find it easier to sit between strangers at business meetings or strike up a conversation with people at the spa.
It's important to find the time to leave your cave and meet other qualified business professionals regularly, or you'll never develop a prosperous word-of-mouth-based business. Networking is a contact sport! If you don't develop effective relationships, you can't possibly create a powerful, diverse and reliable network of contacts.
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Dr. Ivan Misner is the Founder and Chairman of BNI, the world's largest business networking organization, which has more than 4,600 chapters in 37 countries. Dr. Misner is also the author of several books, including the New York Times bestseller TRUTH OR DELUSION? (www.truthordelusion.com), and he is the Senior Partner for the Referral Institute (www.referralinstitute.com), a referral training company with operations around the world.
Network Like a Pro - To learn more about this author, visit Ivan R. Misner's Website.
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Ivan R. Misner
(Visit Ivan's Website)
Dr. Ivan Misner is the Founder & Chairman
of BNI (Business Network Int'l.). BNI (www.bni.com) was
founded in 1985. The organization has over
4,200 chapters throughout every populated
continent of the world. Last year alone,
BNI generated millions referrals resulting
in billions of dollars worth of business
for its members.
Dr. Misner’s Ph.D. is from the University
of Southern California. He has written
eight books, including his New York Times
best seller, Masters of Networking and his
#1 bestseller, Masters of Success. He is
a monthly columnist for Entrepreneur.com
and is also Chairman of the Board for the
Referral Instititute - a referral training
company with trainers around the world.
He has taught business and social capital
courses at several universities and is on
the Board of Directors for the Colorado
School of Professional Psychology.
Called the "Father of Modern Networking"
by Ecademy.com and the “Networking Guru”
by Entrepreneur magazine, Dr. Misner is
one of the world's leading experts on
business networking and has been a
keynote speaker for major corporations and
associations throughout the world.
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