Two weeks ago, I shared with my Mastermind that I was in a down space; my coaching practice was down and my finances were very down.
This was the feedback -- They could tell; they could hear it in my voice. Then they told me I needed to hire a source, a coach. I AM a coach, but I've been without a coach for several years. And any coach will tell you to have a coach - particularly if you're a coach.
It was the perfect advice. I found a superb coach. She saw that I was missing my connection to Spirit. I knew everything. I have an old cartoon by Herb Gardner: "I am so smart I make myself sick." And, as Werner Erhard says: Understanding is the booby prize.
I think that - for the first time, I've actually been coachable. She had me call my old clients and ask them to assess me - positive and negative. The feedback has been wonderful. I've recovered myself. I thought my life is about making a difference. It is, but I've left out myself.
Yes, the coach is superb. But it was my Mastermind group that was willing to say the harsh realities that motivated me. You just don't know what a group can provide.
For the last 4 months, I have been using one of my fee-based Mastermind Groups as a "test case",(with their permission, of course) to attempt to prove that diverse groups (not industry-specific) are more effective than industry-specific groups. So far, my theory is still simply that: a theory. The sampling is still too small to publish any reliable results. The criteria for "more effective" in a MasterMind Group is also difficult to establish. So the experiment lives on. Counting the ratio of renewals to members is one good way to compare. Survey results are good measures also. I will let you know.
Here is what I observed over the last 4 months with my "test" group of 12 members, who are all in different industries, (one is in a different country):
Approximately 1/2 the group became the "core" who were committed, always showed up on time, took action, made promises, accepted accountability, contributed, and built strong relationships with each other.
1/4 of the group attended about half the time, and regularly gave explanation fo why they couldn't attend. (business conflict, out of town travel, emergency, etc). When they did attend, they contributed and were fully engaged. They just have very busy lives.
1/4 of the group attended the first couple meetings and then just "fizzled out". Stopped showing up.
There seems to be no correlation between the behavioral assessments and who became the "core" of the group. The "core" contains a wide range of age, different upbringings, different spiritual beliefs, and opposing political opinions. I believe that the diversity of the "core" might be what made it so vibrant. I will continue to bring in non-homogenized members and see, ultimately, if what I believe is true.
Each of the core members, at least once during the 4 months said "This Mastermind Group is my life line", or "I don't know what I'd do without the group", etc.
The ratio of re-committing/renewing, however, holds true to my industry specific groups: About 1/2 the people will stay committed and really make transformations in their business and personal lives, 1/4 will come and go, but will be vibrant when they attend, and about 1/4 will just fizzle away.
So, as far as renewing membership, there seems to be no difference in an industry group vs. a non-industry group. It still remains to be seen whether there is a difference in effectiveness.
If you are starting a group of your own, you might consider inviting a few more members than you want to end up with, since after a period of time, approximately 1/4 of your members' commitment will wane and you will have your "core" plus your come-and-go members.
One of the shows my family enjoyed over the summer is America's Got Talent. It cracks me up to watch the hilarious auditions of those who THOUGHT they had talents. Apparently many people thought being entertaining equals being talented. Hello? You can watch someone being completely drunk and making a fool of themselves in public. That could be entertaining, but definitely NOT a talent on their part.
On the other hand, there are no doubt mind-blowing talents out there. I tend to adore those who are truly talented and yet show humility. True talent with a beautiful soul. Donald Braswell is one such fine example. He is a car salesman who used to be a professional singer. A car accident severed his vocal cord, leaving him unable to speak. After 11 long years, he finally got his singing voice back, and it was the first time he got on the stage again.
I would never forget his first audition show. He was the last one in the audition that day. After watching a slew of terrible performances before him, the judges and the entire audience were grumpy and restless. When he began to sing "You Raise Me Up", the entire audience was BOOING him. "This is UNBELIEVABLE", I said to my kids, "How can they be SO rude? He's got a great voice!" And he surely does. Amazingly, he kept his composure and kept on singing despite the chaos.
Then, something completely unexpected happened. As soon as he hit the high note of the chorus, the entire audience broke out in cheers! It's as if he all of a sudden had a completely different audience. They applauded and cheered for him with standing ovation. Even the judges were stunned by such drastic transformation. It brought tears to my eyes every time I watch that video.
Donald Braswell turned a deaf ear to the booing audience, stuck to his dream, and transformed the nay sayers into his biggest fans.
In life, we sometimes encounter nay sayers and doubters. They might not believe in your dream or your ability. Sometimes your friends and family hold you back, out of their concerns for you. Oftentimes, they tell you it can't be done, based on their own fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs. Regardless of their intention, the problem is, if you buy into what they say, you might give up your goals and dreams altogether.
In my own life, I've had to deal with many nay sayers, some are my own friends and family. Over the years, I've been told many different reason why I can't do certain things. I've been told that I can't do it, because I'm a woman, a foreigner who doesn't speak perfect English, too short, not strong enough (get that a lot because I'm petite), don't have the right credential, not pretty enough, too shy, it's too dangerous, etc. Some sound like very "logical" reasons too. And almost everyone who told me these reasons told me that they did it out of concerns for me.
Here's the thing. If I had listened to them, I probably wouldn't have moved to a foreign country, started over in new careers until I found the one I truly love, got my Black Belt and gold medals, became a keynote speaker, wrote my book, etc. When I reflect upon what I've achieved, it's because I CHOSE to turn a deaf ear to the nay sayers. When they say "You can't", I say "Just watch me".
Sometimes you could turn the nay sayers into your raving fans, like Donald Braswell did. Sadly, I've found that sometimes your own friends and family are the last ones to come on board with your dream. Sometimes they wouldn't even come on board, despite seeing your success.
So, what can you do? You can "upgrade" your friends, but you might not want to "divorce" your family. If that's case, I suggest limiting your contact with them, so that you are less likely to be negatively affected.
In the meantime, seek out people who see and support your vision and goals. I've always stressed the importance of having your own "success team" to support you in achieving your goals. It's critical to surround yourself with people who are positive, believe in you, hold up your vision for you, and can support you and hold you accountable. Joining a mastermind group and/or hiring a life coach are both great ways to get such support. If you have a burning desire to turn your dream into reality, I can be your partner to help you achieve that!
What's your dream? There are many factors dictating your success, however, I'd argue that the ability to turn a deaf ear to nay sayers (and believe in yourself) is one of the most critical. When someone says "you can't", simply say "thanks for sharing" and take another step toward your dream.
"When your determination changes, everything will begin to move in the direction you desire. The moment you resolve to be victorious, every nerve and fiber in your being will immediately orient itself toward your success. "
-- Daisaku Ikeda, Japanese Author, Poet and Peace Activist
P.S. Check out Mastermind Group Resources Blog for tips and tools for masterminding success. Visit my coaching website www.RxForBalance.com to learn how coaching can help you achieve your goals.
This week marked a major milestone in our family; our youngest son, Theo, who's three, started school, joining his older brother in an expanding world of new people and new experiences. Despite having no friends yet, he took it all in his stride and the only thing that upset him was the fact that he'd dropped his 'Treasure' (a smooth piece of green glass found on the beach) on the classroom floor and broken it in two.
This week also marked an important almost diametrically opposite milestone for me; my first trip back home to familiarity in four months, and my first physical chance to re-connect with the members of my first Mastermind group. In my own expanding world of new people and new experiences, set in motion by a recent career decision, there is still very much time and room for these cornerstone relationships built on trust and alignment.
So I've just spent the most wonderful weekend catching up with all their news and finding out how our various summers panned out. A common theme seemed to be coping with changing family dynamics - for instance, one parent working away to support the rest of the family, an elder child starting senior school far from home, a new baby arriving, or the whole family re-locating to a different country. All weekend we've listened and empathised and listened and talked and shared picnics and barbeques and generally just hung out with each other and each others' families. My overwhelming feeling is that we're all going through these challenges somehow together. For me, this shared weekend touching base was fantastic, re-energising and so positive - real food for the soul. And from the conversations with the others at the school gates this morning, I know the feeling is mutual.
On the plane back to the current focus of my ever-expanding world, I was reading 'Think and Grow Rich' in preparation for a new Mastermind Group I'm starting in my new workplace later this week. Of course, I found some relevant words from Napoleon Hill: 'A group of brains coordinated (or connected) in a spirit of harmony will provide more thought-energy than a single brain, just as a group of electric batteries will provide more energy than a single battery'... when a group of individual brains are coordinated and function in harmony, the increased energy created through that alliance is available to every individual brain in the group.'
With this concept in mind, I'm excited to see how this next Mastermind group will work. My new group is totally different in terms of people's backgrounds, present situations, experience, goals and outlook. Will the energy created be more? less? different? Will we be able, as colleagues but essentially as strangers, to achieve the level of harmony and coordination that Hill is referring to? If it's anywhere close to the Mastermind Battery effect I've experienced within my home MM group, something I never expected when I started the group, then shouldn't we all be starting groups wherever there's an appropriate opportunity and generating more energy for everyone all round? And if we taught Mastermind concepts and practice to our kids and in their schools, think how powerful this would be - a real tool for growing, learning and contributing?
Which reminds me, don't worry - Theo's green Treasure has since been fixed by his doting grandfather, ready to brave another tomorrow with him in his strange new world. That is, until he makes some new friends...
One of the shows my family enjoyed over the summer is America's Got Talent. It cracks me up to watch the hilarious auditions of those who THOUGHT they had talents. Apparently many people thought being entertaining equals being talented. Hello? You can watch someone being completely drunk and making a fool of themselves in public. That could be entertaining, but definitely NOT a talent on their part.
On the other hand, there are no doubt mind-blowing talents out there. I tend to adore those who are truly talented and yet show humility. True talent with a beautiful soul. Donald Braswell is one such fine example. He is a car salesman who used to be a professional singer. A car accident severed his vocal cord, leaving him unable to speak. After 11 long years, he finally got his singing voice back, and it was the first time he got on the stage again.
I would never forget his first audition show. He was the last one in the audition that day. After watching a slew of terrible performances before him, the judges and the entire audience were grumpy and restless. When he began to sing "You Raise Me Up", the entire audience was BOOING him. "This is UNBELIEVABLE", I said to my kids, "How can they be SO rude? He's got a great voice!" And he surely does. Amazingly, he kept his composure and kept on singing despite the chaos.
Then, something completely unexpected happened. As soon as he hit the high note of the chorus, the entire audience broke out in cheers! It's as if he all of a sudden had a completely different audience. They applauded and cheered for him with standing ovation. Even the judges were stunned by such drastic transformation. It brought tears to my eyes every time I watch that video.
Donald Braswell turned a deaf ear to the booing audience, stuck to his dream, and transformed the nay sayers into his biggest fans.
In life, we sometimes encounter nay sayers and doubters. They might not believe in your dream or your ability. Sometimes your friends and family hold you back, out of their concerns for you. Oftentimes, they tell you it can't be done, based on their own fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs. Regardless of their intention, the problem is, if you buy into what they say, you might give up your goals and dreams altogether.
In my own life, I've had to deal with many nay sayers, some are my own friends and family. Over the years, I've been told many different reason why I can't do certain things. I've been told that I can't do it, because I'm a woman, a foreigner who doesn't speak perfect English, too short, not strong enough (get that a lot because I'm petite), don't have the right credential, not pretty enough, too shy, it's too dangerous, etc. Some sound like very "logical" reasons too. And almost everyone who told me these reasons told me that they did it out of concerns for me.
Here's the thing. If I had listened to them, I probably wouldn't have moved to a foreign country, started over in new careers until I found the one I truly love, got my Black Belt and gold medals, became a keynote speaker, wrote my book, etc. When I reflect upon what I've achieved, it's because I CHOSE to turn a deaf ear to the nay sayers. When they say "You can't", I say "Just watch me".
Sometimes you could turn the nay sayers into your raving fans, like Donald Braswell did. Sadly, I've found that sometimes your own friends and family are the last ones to come on board with your dream. Sometimes they wouldn't even come on board, despite seeing your success.
So, what can you do? You can "upgrade" your friends, but you might not want to "divorce" your family. If that's case, I suggest limiting your contact with them, so that you are less likely to be negatively affected.
In the meantime, seek out people who see and support your vision and goals. I've always stressed the importance of having your own "success team" to support you in achieving your goals. It's critical to surround yourself with people who are positive, believe in you, hold up your vision for you, and can support you and hold you accountable. Joining a mastermind group and/or hiring a life coach are both great ways to get such support. If you have a burning desire to turn your dream into reality, I can be your partner to help you achieve that!
What's your dream? There are many factors dictating your success, however, I'd argue that the ability to turn a deaf ear to nay sayers (and believe in yourself) is one of the most critical. When someone says "you can't", simply say "thanks for sharing" and take another step toward your dream.
"When your determination changes, everything will begin to move in the direction you desire. The moment you resolve to be victorious, every nerve and fiber in your being will immediately orient itself toward your success. "
-- Daisaku Ikeda, Japanese Author, Poet and Peace Activist
Guest Contributor: Debbie Lousberg Debbie's Posts - Debbie's Blog Here's a new one that's come my way recently: an invitation to join a mastermind group that is focused on supporting each others' prosperity and income goals, aptly named the "Prosperity Circle". This idea came from some friends who noticed that by master-minding just as a couple, they were seeing a significant abundance of opportunities and wealth flow their way. They graciously decided to include some friends to see what great things could begin flowing into others' lives. The purpose of the Circle will be to:
get clear about our values...our visions, our goals, etc.
decide what our individual/couple action steps are that we will commit to...to bring us more prosperity.
hold each other accountable for the week-to-week activities...via e-mail, phone and our every other week meetings
provide info and ideas...impartial feedback and information about the stuff we are pursuing
learn from each other's successes and setbacks
network with each other for new opportunities and opening up our network of friends and business associates to each other
There will be an agenda for each meeting sent out ahead of time and discussion will revolve around books and materials from resources who've already achieved success such as Jack Canfield, David Bach, and T.Harv Eker. The first few meetings will be hosted and facilitated by the original couple, then that responsibility will eventually rotate throughout the membership. There will be optional, self-imposed homework for accountability purposes. The very first meeting will be focused on recognizing accomplishments over the past year and identifying life values. Subsequent meetings will be held every other week.
This is an excellent example of another type of mastermind group - more formal and structured, yet with time built in for sharing, discussing, and brainstorming ideas to help members with one common goal - attracting and welcoming more prosperity into their lives. It looks like more preparation and commitment than with any of my other groups, so my husband and I will determine if we have the time to devote to participating. By saying "yes" to this opportunity and having the support of others with similar goals, I can only imagine what clarity and success we'll experience. Masterminding for prosperity sounds like a great idea!
Achieving any set goals requires focus. A mindset with the singular purpose of doing what is necessary to achieve the end result. Your mastermind group is one tool to help you on your path to achieving your goal.
The only person responsible to keep the focus is you. No one else can keep you on the path or make you stray from it. However, as they say, life happens. Challenges may arise. There may be changes in jobs, relationships, health concerns among other things.
Sometimes we just get away from doing the daily activities necessary for achieving our goals. Re-focusing our minds sometimes seems like an almost impossible task. Figuring out where to start is often the biggest challenge.
The best thing to do is just start. You'll figure out the rest as you go along. The one guaranteed path to failure is never getting started. What ever your goal you have a support system in place, your mastermind group for example.
These are the people around you that see your commitment, that understand what it is you're trying to accomplish. If they are truly a part of your mastermind they will also understand your struggles and still be there when you're ready to get back on track.
Never assume that you are alone, even if you've lost touch with your group, your friends or colleagues. We all stray from time to time. We are after all human. We are busier than ever. We are often over committed with appointments, responsibilities and all the things that go along with living the life we desire. Never discount your mastermind group. They are often your only lifeline.
We've just had a new member join our mastermind group and one of the gifts she brings to the group is a new sense of purpose infusing through us all. She admitted that it was difficult to see her way through to achieving her goals because she lives in a constant state of personal clutter permeating her home and I dare say, work environment.
Then it all came out of the woodwork. Who else was feeling stuck, unable to move forward, feeling drained of energy, not achieving all they wanted to? Well, no prize for guessing that pretty much nearly everyone of us to some degree or other are living with a decease common to an awful lot of people in the developed world. Lets call it Clutteritis.
And what this seems to do is to keep us hanging on to our possessions for dear life till we seem to need more storage space, bigger houses, more shelves, cupboards and outhouses to contain all the detritus of our lives. Well yes I know one person's junk is another's treasures, but honestly, have things not just got out of hand? And what does it cost us to be over our heads with 'more stuff'?
And how did my friend's admittance become a gift to us? Well firstly we had to look at what living in a state of clutter did to us and why it might contribute to us not getting what we want, and then we had to agree to do something about it.
So we have pledged to spend the next month in a solid commitment to ourselves and to the others in the group actively removing some of the junk on a daily basis. With more space to live and breathe, we have cleared the way for the things we really want to manifest into our lives whether that is an intimate relationship, financial, business or career success or any of the other goals we have actively been working on.
And just for this month, every day we are committed to emailing each other with our daily progress report, and along the way to support each other's efforts, to encourage, to 'kick ass' if we haven't heard from someone, holding each other accountable for what we said we would do, to challenge and to inspire. It’s much easier to stay in line when someone else is saying "Well done, keep going. You can do it. Or, what's going on, why didn't you contact us? How are you doing with your tasks?"
The feedback I am getting is that it is working and some people who would have caved in a long time ago or been 'too tired' after a hard day at work are motivated to persist. The best part of it is, it feels great and has such a transforming impact on how we feel about ourselves and our environment.
The energy is moving and flows through us. I can't wait for the final progress report at the next meeting. This way we can be models for each other, share ideas and inspiring quotes, make suggestions and be ready to receive ideas from others. And here's the thing. If we can achieve this apparently 'simple' yet demanding task we have set ourselves and demonstrated how powerfully we can support, encourage and challenge each other to achieving our goals, what else can we do with the combined energy of the whole group?
For some of us it’s been very liberating. Some are finding money, energy, people, a new intimate relationship are being drawn to them. Others have a new sense of renewal and expectancy of fulfilling their ambitions.
No, it isn't easy. Some days, especially if you've been out on long all day seminar sessions as I have been for 3 days, it was very hard to return home and find enough energy to start clearing files and cupboards. But the pledge to do it is very strong when there are others looking over your shoulder and also needing your help to remain focused on task.
It was interesting to me that we coincided exactly with the start of Ramadan which although there are no Muslims in the group, was very apt for us only in the sense of requiring self discipline and focused goals, and perhaps achieving a cleansing at least of the soul.
This for me is a very palpable benefit of the mastermind group. Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich said " Success in this world is always a matter of individual effort, yet you will be deceiving yourself if you believe that you can succeed without the co-operation of other people."
Okay, so I am going to put my true thoughts out there and hope I don't offend anyone one. As a woman and a mom it can often be challenging to be taken seriously in the business world, especially since many areas of the business world are dominated by men.That's it, I said it. I can't count how many times I have made cold sales calls when a business man answered and just dominated the conversation and didn't take anything I said seriously because I am a work-at-home mom(wahm). I find people often have this archaic notion that moms we are sitting home having a grand old time watching Oprah and having leisurely lunches with their girl friends.
Quite the contrary. We juggle not only a home based business, but schedules for our children including doctor appointments, school trips, play dates, soccer and hockey games, dance, horseback riding, homework, uh, need I go on?
Needless to say, it would often take the wind out of my sails and often leave me lacking in confidence as a successful business woman. I found it difficult to establish myself and attempting to make it to a Chamber of Commerce function wearing other than T-shirt and jeans was too much of a challenge with two babies in tow. I literally felt lost as to where my place was in the business world.
When I joined my first mastermind group it changed the way others perceived me and how I actually perceived myself. I found that because we met on conference calls and over the Internet people were listening to me as a person and not seeing my baby formula-stained shirts and rugged old sneakers. (It's much more practical to chase after a 3 year old in sneakers than in heels.) ;)
I was suddenly on an equal level with everyone else, men and women alike in a mastermind group, which in turn helped boost my confidence and discover potential within myself that I didn't even know I had! How is that for a benefit?
There are some mastermind groups that are even geared specifically towards women and for wahm's specific needs because let's face it, a lot of women tend to be juggling and wearing many hats during the day. Being a mom first on a daily basis, I also have to be a teacher, nurse, organizer, coach and mediator to my children. And that is all before I am a business owner running a dayhome and an Internet business. Phew! It can be both rewarding and exhausting. And the only other people who would truly be able to understand the pressures and expectations on a daily basis would be another wahm right?
While business is, of course, about money, it's about other things too. Business is also about your values and the vision you create for your company, both now, and in the future. And defining these values and vision, or what your company stands for, is where a lot of the fun comes in! This is also where a Mastermind Group can help you reach your Values in a realistic and supportive manner.
For the first ten years at Bramble Berry, our mission was to be the best at customer service in our industry. In everything we did, this is what we were striving for. Now, we're updating that a bit as we continue to grow. We want our new vision to move towards the idea of providing opportunities to change lives. Initially, it took us nearly three years to decide which values we wanted for Bramble Berry. And going through this was not always an easy process. At one point, we had pages and pages of potential value statements. We even once had a value that said 'profitability will never be our ultimate goal.' But it turned out, that a value statement like that, just wasn't very practical. Having a Mastermind Group to go back to, month after month, with my potential Values Statements was invaluable. They could and did mirror back to me my own words, "Well, you actually said three months ago that you were running out of capital. Maybe having a value around profitability not being important doesn't work for you?"
Today, Bramble Berry's core values are as follows:
(1.) To be an industry leader
(2.) To stand behind our quality products
(3.) To show L.O.V.E. to our customers and employees (L.O.V.E. stands for: changing Lives (the L), creating Opportunities (the O), delivering high Value (the V), and encouraging creative Expression through the five senses (the E).
(4.) To be socially responsible
(5.) To recognize that profitability equals opportunity
These values are important because they stand as the benchmark against which we measure our actions. Every decision we make goes through these filters.
For example, when we're thinking about whether or not to bring on a new line, we have to ask ourselves, "Does this line meet the standards outlined in our values?" If the line is a sub-par product, then our answer has to be "no". Another good example can be found with some of the really cool stuff now coming out of China. While there are some really fabulous, and readily usable products being offered from Chinese manufacturers, we have decided not to use many of them because the waste that these manufactures produce goes against our core values. We have also decided not to carry Sandalwood essential oils, despite their popularity, because when looking at Sandalwood's endangered species status, and comparing it with our values, we have found that carrying it just doesn't match up with how we've stated that we want to run the business.
Developing core values in a vacuum is difficult at best. Utilize the resources you've built around you, your team of advisors in your Mastermind Group, to ensure that your values match the things that you've been talking about, saying and doing in your meetings. Developing core values can help guide you through the many business decisions that will come your way, and they will certainly help to ensure that you're building a company you can be proud of.
For this post I'm talking about the age old problem that most business owners have. They think that the only thing missing in their business is well developed and executed marketing. Although this is a big issue, marketing is only a piece of the entire puzzle to have a business that really clicks.
Mastermind Groups are a source of education, planning, implementation and accountability to get things done. When you have an entire business and everything that makes it click to think about, this type of resource for an entrepreneur becomes even more important. But many entrepreneurs still think that all they need is someone to tell them how to market their services and products, which makes them also think that any type of help with anything else in their business is a waste of time and money.
At least these business owners realize they need some kind of help but this limited thinking couldn't be further from the truth, my friends.
Let's put the big picture in place: First off, if you already have a decent amount of clients you have already worked with, then Client Management is more important than marketing to new clients. It's the easy pickings with a lot less work involved than getting new clients and allows you to not need as many new clients. It’s simple to see when you sit back and reflect on it for a second.
Next, the main culprit that business owners get bit by after marketing is Time Management. Solving or at least lessening this problem would give them more time to market to new prospects and current clients. Oddly enough the biggest excuse I hear about marketing is not having the time to do it. Now how does that make sense?
How about Metrics and Financials? These are foreign or scary terms to many business owners but are the keys to effective marketing. Amazing, but so true.
Guess what happens when your marketing really starts to kick in? That's right, you will need help from others so Employee and Contractor Management comes into the mix. I can't tell you how many businesses I've seen take a dive not long after big money started rolling in. Believe it or not, like many, they were ill prepared to handle the increased revenue and the responsibilities that come with it.
So, do you still think you may only need help with marketing and not belong to a well rounded mastermind group?
EvanCarmichael.com is the world's #1 website for small business motivation and strategies. Evan also runs a series of successful Mastermind Groups in Toronto for entrepreneurs.
Guest Contributor: Michael Lipp
