Last month at our mastermind group meeting, as we were going around the table sharing our status updates, one of our members, who was the last one to report, abruptly announced that this would be her last meeting. We were all shocked. Not only because she held on till the last minute to tell us, but also because she was the one who started this mastermind group over two years ago. Most of the eight of us did not know each other back then, and she was the one who had the most experience in our industry. So, in a sense, she was the "mother hen" who took us under her wings, when she gathered us in her home for our first mastermind meeting. We had since changed our meeting location to a conference room and then to another person's office, but the eight of us stuck together and became good friends.
She told us that she is "the kind of person who starts groups" and that she has stayed in this particular group much longer than she normally does. She is going through some personal transition as well as going back to school for a different certification. Our facilitator and I managed to express our gratitude for her contribution to our mastermind group, and wish her all our best. The rest of the group sat there in silence - I think everyone was in shock.
Personally, I didn't see this coming. However, now that I have time to reflect on the last couple of months, there were some signs. At times, she seemed a bit disengaged, impatient or agitated during the meeting, saying things that were out of character for her. Perhaps she was going through something in her life, and perhaps she was no longer interested in being part of the mastermind. I guess we would never know, unless she tells us someday.
It saddens me to see her go, but, as a group, we must go on. At this month's meeting, we went on as if nothing happened, but I couldn't help but feel that the group has changed somehow. Like I said, we have been meeting monthly for over two years, and we have become good friends, which is absolutely wonderful. However, I've been feeling lately that our mastermind group has become more social, and less business-oriented over the last few months. Even though I do enjoy seeing my friends every month, I'm starting to feel that we are not reaping the full benefits of having a mastermind group. I know I want more out of a mastermind group, and I wonder if other members feel the same.
It's time to have a heart-to-heart with my mastermind group, to see if we can recharge and refocus our vision, goals and commitment to the group. As I believe that there's a blessing and/or lesson in every situation we encounter. Losing our "mother hen" might be just what we needed as a group to grow.
At our last mastermind group, we checked in on everyone's status and progress. Two of us are writing books (respectively). My book is Intensive Care for the Nurturer's Soul: 7 Keys to Nurture Yourself While Caring for Others. Randy hasn't told us his book title. We both set out to write our own book back in August, and neither completed the book by the deadlines we set for ourselves. Needless to say, we were a bit disappointed and wished we could show our books to our mastermind group.
Being a supportive group, other members tried to help us feel better by pointing out what else is in our lives and what we have accomplished. Randy got a lot on his plate - he was one of the presenters at the annual ICF conference, he is working hard on his coaching program and forming a new partnership, and, to top it off, he just had a brand new baby last month. I also have a lot going on -- keynote speaking at the Northeast Regional Oncology Nursing Conference and several other speaking engagements, coaching clients, teaching Teleclass, developing new products and group coaching programs, forming new strategic alliances, volunteer work, running businesses with my husband, not to mention raising two kids and volunteering at their schools. Not to give ourselves excuses, but, we do have very full plates, and we have both accomplished a lot in the last few months. Isn't it so common that we tend to focus on what we did not achieve and beat ourselves up, while overlooking all the other things we have accomplished?
Writing the book is an important project for me, but, there are so many other priorities in my life and business. It would be nice to lock myself in a resort to write my book, but, it's far from my reality. I realized that I wasn't being realistic when I set my goal in August. I totally didn't consider how little work I would be able to get done in August, with two kids home, family visiting and our vacation, etc. September was an extremely busy month, too, for our family and for my business. A bunch of exciting new projects and opportunities sidetracked me, and I lost my momentum in writing my book.
In addition, being a first-time author, I grossly under-estimated how much time and work it would take to write and edit the book, and all the back and forth with the publisher, the graphic designer, the editor, etc. I was influenced by all the gurus out there who said they wrote their books in as little as 24 hours, and thought it would be a breeze for me too. Wow, what a learning experience for me! I realized that the way I write takes a lot from me, and I need a lot of internal processing before I can write the words. It has to come straight from my heart, and sometimes it takes a long time. My colleagues in my mastermind group helped me see that my writing is very unique, and it touches people because it comes from my heart. I would be doing myself and my readers a disservice if I try to rush the process or change my style just to meet a certain deadline.
One thing is for sure -- it definitely doesn't help the progress by beating myself up. I did a reality check. Randy and I both started writing in August, and it's only been 4 months. Many authors took years to write their books. We are doing just fine. Seriously. I'd rather take the time, enjoy the writing process, and produce a book I'm proud of, than rushing to the finish line just for the sake of finishing the project. It would totally defeat the purpose if I'm stressing myself out and breaking down, while writing a book about Intensive Self-Care. Yeah, that would be the upmost irony, wouldn't it?
With the fresh outlook, I decided to cut myself a slack and just enjoy the holidays with my family. The writing will come naturally when I am relaxed and centered. I'd be more patient with myself, trusting that the book will get done when it's the right time.
By the way, I'm back on writing my book again and getting close to completion. Randy, on the other hand, decided to put his book on the back burner for the time being. When the right time comes, he will complet his book. I have no doubt about that.
These days, everywhere you turn, you are bombarded by news of gloom and doom about our economy. It's like Halloween got here way too early this year. I try my best to avoid the TV and radio news altogether. No, I'm not in denial or being naive. There's no doubt that something is very wrong in this picture. However, if you focus your attention on the bad news that's broadcast 24/7, and hang around the water cooler whining, bitching and complaining, your chance of success is doomed.
Research has shown that the right mindset and attitude can make or break a person/business. How do you maintain a laser-sharp focus and unwavering success mindset during these challenging times? That's where masterminding comes in.
The right mastermind group can provide abundant resources for building your business. Mastermind groups can be made up from a group of peers in the exact same industry that you are in, a group of companies that focus on the same vertical market or market segment, or a group of business leaders that are ready to mentor those who are starting out. When you are in a group of like-minded, success-focused, positive business professionals, there are infinite possibilities, creativity and resources to be shared. Oftentimes, we cannot see what's missing in our own business. It's extremely valuable to have someone else to point out your blind spot or offer you solutions you would not have thought of by yourself.
During these turbulent times, perhaps the most important value of having a mastermind group, is to have an army of your own, so to speak, against the ugly beasts of fear, negative beliefs, doubts and worries. If you are familiar with the Law of Attraction and the success principles taught by masters such as Napoleon Hill, you know that you can't afford the negative thoughts and beliefs -- not in your personal life, and definitely not in your business. If you have taken all the right steps to select the right kind of people for your mastermind group, you would have an unbreakable support network to always keep you in the positive energy field.
Next time you meet with your mastermind group, may I suggest that you set a group intention to lift and keep one another in the success-oriented positive energy field. Select some empowering affirmations that you'd like to recite and affirm at your meetings. Absolutely no whining, bitching or complaining allowed in and outside of the group. Set up some type of buddy system so you can call for support, in case you fall into a negative slump. Do everything you can to safeguard your positive energy, and watch the success come to you.
One of the shows my family enjoyed over the summer is America's Got Talent. It cracks me up to watch the hilarious auditions of those who THOUGHT they had talents. Apparently many people thought being entertaining equals being talented. Hello? You can watch someone being completely drunk and making a fool of themselves in public. That could be entertaining, but definitely NOT a talent on their part.
On the other hand, there are no doubt mind-blowing talents out there. I tend to adore those who are truly talented and yet show humility. True talent with a beautiful soul. Donald Braswell is one such fine example. He is a car salesman who used to be a professional singer. A car accident severed his vocal cord, leaving him unable to speak. After 11 long years, he finally got his singing voice back, and it was the first time he got on the stage again.
I would never forget his first audition show. He was the last one in the audition that day. After watching a slew of terrible performances before him, the judges and the entire audience were grumpy and restless. When he began to sing "You Raise Me Up", the entire audience was BOOING him. "This is UNBELIEVABLE", I said to my kids, "How can they be SO rude? He's got a great voice!" And he surely does. Amazingly, he kept his composure and kept on singing despite the chaos.
Then, something completely unexpected happened. As soon as he hit the high note of the chorus, the entire audience broke out in cheers! It's as if he all of a sudden had a completely different audience. They applauded and cheered for him with standing ovation. Even the judges were stunned by such drastic transformation. It brought tears to my eyes every time I watch that video.
Donald Braswell turned a deaf ear to the booing audience, stuck to his dream, and transformed the nay sayers into his biggest fans.
In life, we sometimes encounter nay sayers and doubters. They might not believe in your dream or your ability. Sometimes your friends and family hold you back, out of their concerns for you. Oftentimes, they tell you it can't be done, based on their own fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs. Regardless of their intention, the problem is, if you buy into what they say, you might give up your goals and dreams altogether.
In my own life, I've had to deal with many nay sayers, some are my own friends and family. Over the years, I've been told many different reason why I can't do certain things. I've been told that I can't do it, because I'm a woman, a foreigner who doesn't speak perfect English, too short, not strong enough (get that a lot because I'm petite), don't have the right credential, not pretty enough, too shy, it's too dangerous, etc. Some sound like very "logical" reasons too. And almost everyone who told me these reasons told me that they did it out of concerns for me.
Here's the thing. If I had listened to them, I probably wouldn't have moved to a foreign country, started over in new careers until I found the one I truly love, got my Black Belt and gold medals, became a keynote speaker, wrote my book, etc. When I reflect upon what I've achieved, it's because I CHOSE to turn a deaf ear to the nay sayers. When they say "You can't", I say "Just watch me".
Sometimes you could turn the nay sayers into your raving fans, like Donald Braswell did. Sadly, I've found that sometimes your own friends and family are the last ones to come on board with your dream. Sometimes they wouldn't even come on board, despite seeing your success.
So, what can you do? You can "upgrade" your friends, but you might not want to "divorce" your family. If that's case, I suggest limiting your contact with them, so that you are less likely to be negatively affected.
In the meantime, seek out people who see and support your vision and goals. I've always stressed the importance of having your own "success team" to support you in achieving your goals. It's critical to surround yourself with people who are positive, believe in you, hold up your vision for you, and can support you and hold you accountable. Joining a mastermind group and/or hiring a life coach are both great ways to get such support. If you have a burning desire to turn your dream into reality, I can be your partner to help you achieve that!
What's your dream? There are many factors dictating your success, however, I'd argue that the ability to turn a deaf ear to nay sayers (and believe in yourself) is one of the most critical. When someone says "you can't", simply say "thanks for sharing" and take another step toward your dream.
"When your determination changes, everything will begin to move in the direction you desire. The moment you resolve to be victorious, every nerve and fiber in your being will immediately orient itself toward your success. "
-- Daisaku Ikeda, Japanese Author, Poet and Peace Activist
P.S. Check out Mastermind Group Resources Blog for tips and tools for masterminding success. Visit my coaching website www.RxForBalance.com to learn how coaching can help you achieve your goals.
One of the shows my family enjoyed over the summer is America's Got Talent. It cracks me up to watch the hilarious auditions of those who THOUGHT they had talents. Apparently many people thought being entertaining equals being talented. Hello? You can watch someone being completely drunk and making a fool of themselves in public. That could be entertaining, but definitely NOT a talent on their part.
On the other hand, there are no doubt mind-blowing talents out there. I tend to adore those who are truly talented and yet show humility. True talent with a beautiful soul. Donald Braswell is one such fine example. He is a car salesman who used to be a professional singer. A car accident severed his vocal cord, leaving him unable to speak. After 11 long years, he finally got his singing voice back, and it was the first time he got on the stage again.
I would never forget his first audition show. He was the last one in the audition that day. After watching a slew of terrible performances before him, the judges and the entire audience were grumpy and restless. When he began to sing "You Raise Me Up", the entire audience was BOOING him. "This is UNBELIEVABLE", I said to my kids, "How can they be SO rude? He's got a great voice!" And he surely does. Amazingly, he kept his composure and kept on singing despite the chaos.
Then, something completely unexpected happened. As soon as he hit the high note of the chorus, the entire audience broke out in cheers! It's as if he all of a sudden had a completely different audience. They applauded and cheered for him with standing ovation. Even the judges were stunned by such drastic transformation. It brought tears to my eyes every time I watch that video.
Donald Braswell turned a deaf ear to the booing audience, stuck to his dream, and transformed the nay sayers into his biggest fans.
In life, we sometimes encounter nay sayers and doubters. They might not believe in your dream or your ability. Sometimes your friends and family hold you back, out of their concerns for you. Oftentimes, they tell you it can't be done, based on their own fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs. Regardless of their intention, the problem is, if you buy into what they say, you might give up your goals and dreams altogether.
In my own life, I've had to deal with many nay sayers, some are my own friends and family. Over the years, I've been told many different reason why I can't do certain things. I've been told that I can't do it, because I'm a woman, a foreigner who doesn't speak perfect English, too short, not strong enough (get that a lot because I'm petite), don't have the right credential, not pretty enough, too shy, it's too dangerous, etc. Some sound like very "logical" reasons too. And almost everyone who told me these reasons told me that they did it out of concerns for me.
Here's the thing. If I had listened to them, I probably wouldn't have moved to a foreign country, started over in new careers until I found the one I truly love, got my Black Belt and gold medals, became a keynote speaker, wrote my book, etc. When I reflect upon what I've achieved, it's because I CHOSE to turn a deaf ear to the nay sayers. When they say "You can't", I say "Just watch me".
Sometimes you could turn the nay sayers into your raving fans, like Donald Braswell did. Sadly, I've found that sometimes your own friends and family are the last ones to come on board with your dream. Sometimes they wouldn't even come on board, despite seeing your success.
So, what can you do? You can "upgrade" your friends, but you might not want to "divorce" your family. If that's case, I suggest limiting your contact with them, so that you are less likely to be negatively affected.
In the meantime, seek out people who see and support your vision and goals. I've always stressed the importance of having your own "success team" to support you in achieving your goals. It's critical to surround yourself with people who are positive, believe in you, hold up your vision for you, and can support you and hold you accountable. Joining a mastermind group and/or hiring a life coach are both great ways to get such support. If you have a burning desire to turn your dream into reality, I can be your partner to help you achieve that!
What's your dream? There are many factors dictating your success, however, I'd argue that the ability to turn a deaf ear to nay sayers (and believe in yourself) is one of the most critical. When someone says "you can't", simply say "thanks for sharing" and take another step toward your dream.
"When your determination changes, everything will begin to move in the direction you desire. The moment you resolve to be victorious, every nerve and fiber in your being will immediately orient itself toward your success. "
-- Daisaku Ikeda, Japanese Author, Poet and Peace Activist
When it comes to achieving success, whether personal or professional, commitment is one of the top must-have factors. In order to have a successful mastermind group that truly supports each member's vision and goals, I'm sure you'd agree that having each member's full commitment to the mastermind group and to the group process is critical.
It sounds simple and totally logical, right? Why wouldn't you be committed to your own mastermind group? In reality, however, I've found that not everyone is on the same page about this one.
For example, one of the mastermind groups I belong to recently had a heated discussion on the issue of commitment, and we almost decided to break up the group as a result.
We've had this group for about two years and it was going strong. All of the members are entrepreneurs & service professionals, and we meet once a month in person. We are committed to honing our professional skills, always have a lot of great ideas and cheer each other on as we all make progress in our businesses. It was going very well, until recently.
Some of the members started to miss quite a few meetings, due to other activities and commitments. Others started to question whether they are committed to our mastermind group and see it as a priority. Overall, we were unhappy that some members kept missing our meetings, and it's a sign of lack of commitment and respect. Of course, sometimes people have to miss a meeting because of emergencies, or important business commitments that they cannot re-arrange. That's totally understandable. But when you knew the meeting time ahead of time, and repeatedly choose to attend other activities instead, that does raise the question about commitment. It finally got to the point where we had to sit down and put this on agenda, so we could all voice our opinions. We were seriously considering "un-inviting" some members, or breaking up the group into two groups in order to accommodate everyone's schedule better, and/or opening up our closed group to new members. On the other hand, we do love our mastermind group and everyone in it, and everyone prefers to keep our group intact, if at all possible.
So, after some lengthy discussions and flushing out a lot of emotions and ideas, we finally decided to keep the group together as is. We are in this together, and we are willing to work at it. Everyone asserted their commitment to the group, and we moved on to discuss possible new directions and project ideas for our mastermind group. We've got a new lease of life for our mastermind group, and new level of appreciation, commitment and respect.
If you are starting a mastermind group, it's important to have everyone agree on the level of commitment that's expected. If you're experiencing a similar challenge in your current mastermind group, or any professional group, you might want to address the issue promptly, before it erodes the morale of the entire group and causes bigger problems down the road. Since everyone and every group naturally grow and evolve over time, it's also a good idea to review the ground rules from time to time, and see if you need to make any revisions to better suit your group's needs.
Last week, I attended a business development training offered by iPEC Coaching for its graduates. At the beginning, Bruce Schneider, the founder of iPEC Coaching, asked how many of us belong to a mastermind group that's dedicated to building our businesses. Surprisingly, very few coaches raised their hands. I myself belong to a coaches mastermind group that meets once a month. We hone our skills as coaches and share resources for building our businesses. It's wonderful to have my mastermind group keeping me motivated and updated on the coaching business.
One of the exercises we did was to identify our key talents and skills in running a successful business. Four key areas were identified: speaking, networking, marketing and sales. These are the four basic skills or areas an entrepreneur needs to be successful.
Next step, we were asked to identify our #1 skill and the one area that we have the most challenge with, and wrote them on our name tags.
We all have at least one or two things that we can do effortlessly. Perhaps you are a great public speaker. Perhaps you are an amazing "connector", a brilliant marketer or a convincing salesperson. Oftentimes we take our gifts and talents for granted, because they come so easily for us. We underestimate our gifts and talents, because we can do them effortlessly. We thought "everyone else" could do just the same. It's often when we hear others' compliments over and over again, that it begins to dawn on us that perhaps we do have some unique skills that others don't possess.
At that training, we were asked to walk around the room and find people with complementary skills. We were to find people we could partner for projects, mastermind groups, or even become business partners. The point is, instead of trying to be everything and do everything ourselves, it's much more effective, not to mention more enjoyable, if we could just focus on doing what we do best, and find someone else to do what we're not so good at. That way, everyone gets to leverage his/her unique gifts and talents, and everyone wins.
So, we were walking around the room looking at everyone's name tags, trying to find those who possess skills we don't have. Soon it was obvious to everyone that we've got a roomful of speakers, and very few salespeople. That didn't come as such a shock to me. Well, think about it, we are all coaches, and most coaches are also speakers. However, it presented a great challenge not to have enough salespeople in the room for us to partner with. We all got the point. Obviously, we all need to reach outside of the coaches community and look for other qualified marketing and sales professionals to complete our mastermind & business teams.
So, this is what I've been working on lately - looking for strategic alliances as well as admin help to complete my team.
How about you? Have you identified your key strengths? Are you leveraging your unique gifts & talents? Do you have your A-Team assembled?
One of the most important keys to success is knowing what you want (your goals). In coaching, I often see people who either are not clear about what they want, or, not sure about how to get it. Having a clear intention and goal is the very first step. It's important to know not just what you want, but WHY you want it. You might need to do some soul searching to have that clarity. A professional life coach can help you with that. Knowing WHY you want a particular goal will help you stay focused and persevere when you hit a roadblock.
Once you are clear about what you want, it's time to come up with an action plan to move you toward your goals. It's helpful to have a mentor, colleague or a life coach to brainstorm with you, give you guidance, and offer resources. Another effective strategy is using a mastermind group to help you achieve your goals.
A mastermind group, by definition, is a group of like-minded people sharing common goals. As with one-on-one coaching, a mastermind group also offers accountability and support for the members. I have written several posts on using mastermind group for personal and business success.
There are many ways you can use a mastermind group to help you achieve your goals. Today I'd like to focus on one specific key to getting what you want, and that is, asking for what you want. It sounds so simple and common sense, but, you'd be surprised that many people don't ask for what they want, or don't know how to ask for what they want.
People don't ask for what they want for many reasons. Maybe they don't know exactly what they want (lack of clarity). Maybe they are afraid of being judged, ridiculed or rejected. Maybe they don't want to "impose" on or burden others. Maybe they are afraid of appearing to be pushy or needy. We sometimes assume that if we ask for help, others will think of us as inadequate or incompetent. The truth is, most people want to be helpful to others, and they will happily help you if only you would ask for it. In my previous post The Gift of Receiving, I pointed out that, by asking for help, you are actually giving the person a gift, because he/she gets to experience the great feeling of giving/helping someone else. All you have to do is ask.
I remember almost 20 years ago, when I attended the Landmark Forum and the Self Expression and Leadership Program, one of the assignments was for us to make an "unreasonable request". We did it over dinner break, and over the weekend. That was an eye-opener. Most people came back to report that they thought they were making very unreasonable requests, and were fully prepared to be turned down. Instead, they were amazed that they got what they wanted. Obviously, some of these so-called "unreasonable" requests were not so unreasonable, after all.
If you don't like the idea of asking for help, substitute the word "help" with "support". We all need a support system. As human beings, nobody can survive without the support from others. It's completely healthy and essential to ask for the support you need, in both your personal and professional lives.
Coming back to mastermind group. It's important to let your group know exactly what your goals are, and what kind of support you need from them. Perhaps it's weekly accountability check-in and encouragement; perhaps it's certain type of leads; or perhaps it's specific tools or resources for your project. Let your group members know what you need, and set up the structure (e.g. weekly check-in calls, accountability buddy) that supports your goals.
I found this wonderful mastermind resource at Mary Robinson Reynolds Make A Difference site. At her site you can find inspirational movies (I highly recommend them) and other resources, including MasterMinding. She listed "7 Steps to the MasterMind Connection". They are:
1. I SURRENDER ordinary thinking. 2. I FOCUS my intention to be open to all possibilities. 3. I DECIDE differently. Within and without, I call all things past, all things present, all things future, a success. 4. I KNOW that, when two or more minds come together in the spirit of harmony, peace and good will, the accomplishment of my goals, dreams and desires will be intentionally created through this alliance, to bring about easy effectiveness, energy and good to all. 5. I ASK my partner's support in seeing and believing for me what I really want. 6. I ACCEPT and receive all that I am aligned with. 7. I DEDICATE myself to be of maximum service to those around me, to be a living example of what humanity can be and to practice "harmlessness" in generating peace, love, harmony and good will in my world. I am grateful and relaxed... and so it is.
Mary has written a complete script that you can use, and instructions of how to use this MasterMinding process. You can use it with another person, or with a mastermind group. As Napoleon Hill wrote, "No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind." It is in this "third mind" that possibilities thrive.
Whether you use this MasterMinding process or something else, the point is, to get what you want, you've got to ask for what you want. It's something that's worth trying in your next mastermind group meeting, and in your everyday life.
At our mother-daughter mastermind group (which we named "Mom and Me II"), we talked about body image and self-esteem for teenage girls. So many young girls (and grown women too) have serious issues with their body image and self image, resulting in low self-esteem, limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging behaviors, etc. In my line of work as a professional life coach, I've seen it time and again that low self-esteem is the root cause of many challenges that my clients are struggling with both in life and at work. For example, a person with low self-esteem might think "I'm not worthy of love" and as a result might not have the courage to pursue the love they desire, or leave an abusive relationship. Or, they might not pursue their dream job or ask for a pay raise, because they don't believe they deserve it. When they are working toward a goal, they might give up too early, because they either don't believe they have what it takes or deserve to be successful. They might sacrifice their own well-being and priorities to please others, because they need others' approval. These are all very common issues I see every day.
As you can see, these self-defeating behaviors can cause a lot of heartaches and hold one back from reaching his/her full potential and goals. That's why we felt that it's critical to address this issue in our mother-daughter mastermind group, so we can hopefully help our preteen daughters foster healthy self-esteem and future success.
At our last meeting, we asked the girls and moms to share what they think as signs of high self-esteem. Below are some of the characteristics that were mentioned. This is of course not an inclusive list. This is what we came up with on the spot that evening, plus a few I added on myself.
good body posture -- stand up tall and straight
good eye contact when talking with others
smile at people
confident in their abilities and what they do
speak their mind
speak in a powerful voice/language
good sense of humor
like themselves just the way they are
not taking themselves too seriously e.g. make jokes about themselves
One of the intentions of our Coaches Mastermind Group is to share resources that could enhance our coaching and/or business-building skills. At last month's meeting, we decided to add business skills presentations to our regular meeting agenda, in addition to the coaching skills & foundation principles that we take turns to present each month. We would like to invite speakers to talk to us about various business skills such as marketing, PR, sales, networking, public speaking, website design & optimization, etc. We couldn't find a speaker for this month, so, in the interim, Lois and I were asked to talk about what we have learned from Michael Port's Book Yourself Solid. Michael Port was interviewed by iPEC Coaching founder Bruce Schneider last week on his E-Factor show, and that's why I started reading his book again. Lois decided to talk about identifying your ideal client and niche. I decided to talk about the Super Simple Selling System.
I met Michael Port 2 years ago at the ICF (International Coach Federation) NYC-chapter annual conference, where he was one of the speakers. At that time I was a regular participant on his Think Big Revolution weekly calls, and I like his upbeat and empowering attitude on the calls. He strikes me as very warm, sincere and authentic, and very likable. I also likes that he honors his integrity. So I made a point to attend his breakout workshop at the conference and bought his Book Yourself Solid CD set afterwards (his book was not published yet).
In the 3-CD set, he talked about the Simple Selling Process, and it includes an extensive version and a condensed version of the process. That's what I presented to the group. However, I just looked at his hardcover book tonight, and found that he kept the condensed version and called it Super Simple Selling System.
Anyway, if you're like most people, you probably hate selling with a passion. Nobody likes a typical sleazy used car salesman, or the fear-based advertisement. But, as an entrepreneur, especially as a service professional, you obviously need to master, or at least get comfortable, at the selling process.
What I learned from his book changed my perspective about selling and greatly surprised my mastermind group members. First of all, he said, "You are not selling your products or services. You are not even selling yourself. You are selling a solution." That point alone shifted my perspective about selling. The focus is no longer on "proving" how good my products are, or how good I am. The focus is on offering a solution to the prospect's challenges.
The Super Simple Selling System that's outlined in the book sounds more like a coaching session than a sales session. He stressed the importance of keeping the conversation positive and empowering for the prospects, and keeping self-criticism out of it. He also asked us to "stop selling and start helping". When you are in the "helping mode", just as in any coaching sessions, you listen deeply and ask powerful questions to help the prospects zoom in on their goals and vision. More importantly, you help them visualize achieving their goals, really feel it, and come up with action steps to achieve their goals. This is exactly like a coaching session, where I ask empowering questions to help my clients clarify their goals, make them concrete, visualize their success, and create a step-by-step action plan.
You are providing a solution to the prospects, instead of trying to push a product on them. When you look at the selling process this way, you are in the "helping mode" and you are their partner in the problem-solving process. So, it only seems natural to ask the next questions:
"Would you like to have a partner to help you achieve your goals?
And, would you like that partner to be me?"
When I finished my presentation, I could see that everyone seemed so relieved to hear this information. None of us like selling (the traditional way), but, with Michael's new selling concept & process, we get to do what we love to do the most -- coaching and helping others!
Do you know the type of people who always manage to find faults in everyone or every situation? The type that always sees the glass as half-empty? Whatever conversation you engage with them, they would turn it into a "Who's Got It Worse" competition, and, they are determined to win. They are eager to tell you that they are "just not as lucky" or "not as good (smart, pretty)" as others. Every conversation almost always turns into a "Poor Me" whining session.
Got the picture? These are negative people, and I'm sure you've come across (or even lived with) at least a couple of them.
As if it's not bad enough that they are negative and insecure about themselves, I think the worst part is, they never hesitate to tell you that dreams don't come true (especially yours).
If you have experienced interacting with such negative people, you know how morale-deflating, emotionally draining, and migraine-inducing it is to talk with them. Over the years, I have learned that, negative (or "toxic") people and the negative energy they bring are detrimental to both physical and emotional well-being. If you are chronically surrounded by such negative energy from toxic relationships, it could literally make you ill. The stress from dealing with negative people can cause many physical and emotional problems, and increase your risks of getting major diseases such as heart disease, stroke, hypertension, to name a few. That is why I set an intention to consciously avoid or minimize negative relationships in my personal and professional life.
I've always stressed the importance of choosing who you share your dreams and goals with, and building your own success team. It's extremely important to choose only those who believe in you and will support you in your endeavors. Joining a mastermind group (or starting one) is a great way to build your support network that will cheer you on, offer resources and sound advice when you most need it.
It seems obvious that you wouldn't want any negative people in your mastermind group, because it would totally defeat the purpose. If you are starting a new mastermind group, make sure you pay special attention when you interview potential candidates. Be wary of people who speak negatively about others and/or about themselves, and people who generally complain a lot. That's a red flag.
When you join an existing mastermind group, you might not be able to choose who belong to the group, but after a while you can definitely pick out the whiners and the toxic people in the group. A couple years ago I belonged to a mastermind group of business owners and a good part of us were new start-ups then. At every meeting we shared our progress and challenges in our businesses, and asked the group to hold us accountable for what we would commit to do before our next meeting. Every month some of us had great news to share, while others might have had a challenging month, which is completely normal.
However, there was one member who seemed to be very insecure about herself and her business. Since we are both professional coaches, we became friendly with each other. Sometimes after the meeting we'd chat, and she would say with envy about how everyone was doing so great, and she felt like she was the only one who fell behind. Then she would proceed to blame it on her lack of education compared to others (which is not true), and that it's simply impossible to make a living as a professional coach (not true, either). I ended up having to coach her right on the spot and trying to boost up her self-confidence. When I shared with her my new project ideas, she often said it sounded great but it probably wouldn't work. Let me tell you, it was extremely draining and depressing talking with her. Being a new coach and new business owner myself, her negative attitude and comments were simply more than I could take. After a few more interactions like that, I learned my lesson and stayed away from her. Eventually she left the group on her own, which was a relief for all of us.
I refer to the kind of conversations I had with this coach as "Deadly Conversations". No, they do not kill you (at least not right away), but they can easily kill your spirit, hopes and dreams. What are we without our hopes and dreams? That's why I think toxic conversations and toxic people are deadly. If you cannot avoid such people completely, try to avoid engaging them in conversations whenever possible. Better yet, make a conscious effort to build a sound support network or a mastermind group that truly believes and supports you in achieving your dreams.
As I mentioned in my previous post, one of the intentions we set for our coaches matermind group is to to enhance our professional growth by practicing specific coaching skills and sharing case studies during our meetings. In our August meeting, I was in charge of coaching skill practice. Bonny, the most experienced coach among us, and the one who initiated this coaches mastermind group, requested that I demonstrate the coaching process of "coaching the gremlin", or, as I like to call it, "transforming the gremlin".
What happened was that, two years ago, at another coaches meeting at Bonny's house, I demonstrated the same process that I learned from coaching school (iPEC Coaching). Apparently Bonny was very impressed by it, and she wanted to see me do the same process again. Everyone in our coaches mastermind group are Certified Empowerment Coaches who graduated from the same coaching school, so we all learned this process in school. It's not something new to them. That's why I was honored that Bonny asked me to demonstrate "coaching the gremlin" again for other new coaches to see.
What are Gremlins?
What are the gremlins I'm referring to? You can think of gremlins as these ugly little green monsters who sit on your shoulder and tell you all kinds of negative things about you: "You are not smart enough", "You are not good enough", "Who do you think you are", "You will never make it", "You don't deserve to be loved", "You are an impostor and people can see right through you", etc. Some people call it "negative self-talk" or "the inner critic". The central message is, "You are not good enough". Are you familiar with these gremlin messages?
These gremlins were usually created in childhood or somewhere in your past, when you encountered a painful experience. Their job was to protect you from experiencing the same painful experience again. The problem is, as you grow, personally and professionally, you might not need such "protection" any more, but your gremlin still insists on doing his/her job. Imagine overprotective parents who are still trying to "protect" their adult child, and you can see the problem.
For example, you did a poor job in 4th grade with a school presentation and felt humiliated. Your gremlin was then created to prevent you from attempting any public speaking, so that you won't embarrass yourself again. Or, your parents divorced when you were little, so you were very afraid of being abandoned again. Your gremlin might tell you not to get too close to anyone in an intimate relationship, or you might sabotage your own relationship, just to avoid the pain of abandonment.
As you can see, the result is, your gremlin becomes a major roadblock that hold you back and prevent you from reaching your desired destination.
The Essence of Your Gremlin
You must remember two things about gremlins: a) your gremlin was created by you and is a part of you; b) your gremlin is an energy, and an energy cannot be destroyed.
This concept is of course very different from popular psychology.
Since your gremlin is a part of you, and it's an energy, if you treat your gremlin as an enemy that needs to be overcome & conquered, you will only create more resistance and "counteracting force" from your gremlin. Does this make sense?
Coaching the Gremlin
So, what do you do with your gremlin? That's where this coaching process comes in.
Since your gremlin is a part of you, he/she needs to be acknowledged and validated, just like you do. Further more, an energy cannot be destroyed, but it can be redirected. So, in a nutshell, what we do during this "coaching the gremlin" process is to redirect the gremlin energy and transform your gremlin into someone who gives you strength and support you on your way. So, instead of pitting against your biggest enemy who possess enormous energy, we help you "enroll" your gremlin as a helping force instead.
The process of course is much deeper and complicated, and it required hard work from both the coach and the client. Usually you don't attempt this process until you have worked with a client for a while, know his/her gremlin well, and feel confident that your client is ready and willing to do the work to break free from the gremlin.
However, during our coaches mastermind meeting, I had to coach a new coach who I've only met a few times and I totally had no clue about her gremlin, and I had to demonstrate this process live in front of other coaches. That's a real challenge! But, you know me, I enjoy a good challenge.
Coaching in Action
When you coach someone you don't really know, on something so profound, with such limited time, you need to ask really good probing questions, and listen deeply, to get to the bottom of things. At first, I could feel some resistance coming from my "client" when I was trying to grasp exactly in what way her gremlin has been impacting her life. She talked about how certain limiting beliefs and social injustice are impacting most women in general, but didn't answer my question directly. With a live audience (other coaches) watching, it was more challenging to stay focused. I was able to stay extremely focused on her, and kept on probing. After a few more questions, she finally opened up to me and I got the bottomline of her issue. Once I figured out her gremlin, the rest of the process was easier. The change of energy in the room was incredible when she crossed an imaginary line as a symbol of transformation and declaration of her new reality.
Ending on a High Note
After we wrapped up the session and our meeting, other coaches came to pat me on my back for a job well done. I wasn't sure about how well I did for my client, until I received a personal note from her. She has given me permission to use her note as a testimonial, so I'd like to share it with you here:
"Dear Hueina...
I wanted to send you a hand written note to tell you how much I appreciated your coaching.
I was very impressed by your ability and very grateful for your gift to me. Your style engenders trust, quiet strength, nurturing, and peace. Pretty remarkable!
I'm so pleased our paths have crossed."
Christina M. Genest, MA Assistant Director Corporate Communication Institute
It always feels incredibly exhilarating and rewarding when I hear first hand about how I have helped someone or made a difference in some way. I'm grateful and honored that my coaching has helped her transform her gremlin and take a big step toward the ultimate freedom.
When we think of a mastermind group, we usually associate it with business or professional success. However, we can also apply mastermind principles for personal success, such as weight loss, parenting/motherhood, going through major life transitions or illnesses, etc.
A mastermind group, by definition, is a group of like-minded people who work toward a common goal, by supporting each other (brainstorming, networking, offering resources), and keeping each other focused and accountable, until you reach your goals. In the case of masterminding for personal success, even though you may or may not call your group a mastermind group, you can utilize the same principles and process to facilitate success for group members.
For example, when my daughter was 10 months old, we had to relocate to another state due to my husband's new job, and I decided to quit my college counselor position to be a stay-at-home mom. I joined a local MOMS Club, and found a playgroup within that chapter. All 5 moms in our playgroup were previously full-time professional women with advanced education, and all our first-borns were only a few months apart in age. At the time we all had the desire to have a successful, fulfilling stay-at-home motherhood, good marriage, and the shared goal to raise our children the best we could. We met once a week at one of the moms' neighborhood clubhouse. While the children played and snacked, we talked about our challenges & triumphs in parenting, marital & other relationships, health, personal interests. We celebrated and cheered for each other's success, and offered support and solutions for challenges. We also shared our dreams & goals, and motivated each other to go after our goals. Best of all, we became really good friends, and so did our children.
At the time when I was struggling with the transition from being a full-time working mom to a full-time stay-at-home mom, the weekly playgroup meeting was a life-savor for me. The weekly outing offered my daughter and me a good time with our friends, and the much-needed intellectual stimulation and adult conversation for me. Since we all happened to have similar level of education, core values and goals, it was easy to consult with one another when we needed a sounding board, brainstorming partner, or accountability buddy.
When I looked back at this experience, I think even though we called our group a playgroup, we actually got a lot of benefits of a mastermind group or an advisory board from our group. And even though we started the group for the sake of our children, I believe we moms had benefited from the group as much (if not more) as our children did.
Another example is a mother-daughter book club that I recently joined. All of the moms (some working, some stay-at-home) have a daughter that's entering either 6th or 7th grade this fall. We all have a strong desire to sustain our close relationships with our preteen daughters, and help them navigate through the often challenging teenage years that's right around the corner. I think the teenage years is one of the most important transformations our daughters will go through in their lives. Our goal is to help our daughters grow into healthy, happy, loving, and self-confident young women. We will read books relevant to mother-daughter relationships (you know how tricky it sometimes is to do the "mother-daughter dance"), as well as any books that would serve as a conversation starter for any issues (and there are lots of them) facing today's teenage girls.
Again, it's an out-of-the-box solution for a set of specific common goals. Even though we initially call it a mother-daughter book club (the girls are working on creating a cool name for our group), it is so much more than that. We hope to make this group a safe haven for the girls (and moms) to talk about anything they are concerned about, support one another in trying times, and learn from one another. Yes, there will be lots of learning and growing for all of us, and I expect to have lots of fun as well. In a sense, this group is our advisory board and mastermind group, too.
This afternoon, I sat in a Teleclass where Kim Fulcher interviewed Barbara Sher about this book. Many of the audience members commented that they could totally identify with what she wrote. I bet some of my readers can, too.
According to Barbara Sher, scanners are creative thinkers who have an insatiable desire to learn and explore new things. They are usually multi-talented quick learners who are drawn to many interests all at once and want to do everything they are interested in. They get bored easily by repetitive or routine activities. Many scanners appear unable to make up their minds about what they want in life, cannot get started, or cannot finish what they started. That's because the "rewards" they are after in each activity they pursue might be very different from most people can understand. Once they get the "reward" they want in a particular activity, they would lose interest and move on to the next new thing. Because they are drawn to so many things, and they don't want to just choose one thing, some of them end up not doing anything at all. It's like "I won't do anything, if I can't do everything". It's worth noting that although many scanners have ADD/ADHD (including Ms. Sher), it's not the same.
In the book, Ms. Sher identifies 9 types of scanners: Double Agent, Sybil, Plate Spinner, Serial Specialist, Serial Master, Jack-of-All-Trades, Wanderer, Sampler, and High-Speed Indecisive. Most scanners are a mix of two or more types. For example, I can see myself as a Serial Master in some areas, and a Sybil & a Sampler in other areas.
The exciting thing about this book is, Ms. Sher not only identifies the traits of each type of scanners, shares many stories of people she has worked with, but also offers many tools, strategies, Life Design Models and ideal careers for each type of scanners. Guess what careers she recommends for Serial Masters? Career/life coach, motivational speaker, talent agent, teacher, and athletic coach. Hey, I guess I'm on the right track! Coaching certainly allows me to combine many of my passions and interests, and offers enough challenges, variety, and learning opportunities to keep me interested. If you think you might be a scanner, I highly recommend that you check out this book. It's a fascinating read.
One of the success strategies Ms. Sher offers in the book is what she calls a Support Team, which is essentially a Mastermind Group. In her first workshop years ago, after teaching goal-setting techniques, and asking participants to map out their action steps, she set up Support Teams with groups of 6 people. These teams were supposed to set up nightly phone calls and weekly meetings with each other, so they can cheer each other on, keep each other on track until they reach their goals. She has found such teams extremely effective and successful. As she states, "Support combined with accountability creates a Real Deadline".
Isn't it so true that when we make a commitment to someone else, we are more likely to stick to our commitment? That's the power of accountability (which is a crucial component in the coaching process too). A Support Team (Mastermind Group) provides the structure, support and accountability that are so critical for scanners' success. In the Teleclass today, she mentioned the Support Team too, and said that some of the teams she set up lasted as long as 12 years. That's quite remarkable considering that most scanners can't stick to anything for long, which I think is evidence that mastermind groups obviously work very well for scanners (and anyone else, really).
So, what are you waiting for? Pick up a copy of Refuse to Choose!, hire a life coach (contact me for a complimentary coaching session), and join a mastermind group, if you have not done so. You can also check out BarbaraSher.com and GeniusPress.com for an online forum and more resources for scanners.
Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear from fellow scanners!
The other day, I was invited by an experienced coach & friend to attend a coaches' gathering at her house. She invited about 8 coaches who all graduated from the same professional coaching school iPEC Coaching. Some of us hadn't seen each other for months, and some of us had never met. The purpose of the meeting was for us to catch up, meet new colleagues (some coaches just finished their training), and to determine if there was any desire for us to meet on a regular basis.
It's always wonderful to meet other professional coaches, whether from the same school or not, to compare notes and possibly make new friends. I'm always curious about their business experience, coaching niche and personal stories. I believe I can always learn something from everyone I meet.
Making new friends and having fun is important. On the other hand, if we were to meet on a regular basis, I'd like to make the most of our time together and really learn something valuable from the group. After all, we are a group of professional coaches who can offer a lot for one another.
There were 6 of us there, and everyone showed interest in meeting on a regular basis. So, when we discussed what we would like to get out of this group, and the directions we would like to focus on, I suggested that we made our group a coaches mastermind group.
After a lively discussion, we agreed to establish a coaches mastermind group for:
mutual support
mutual accountability
interpersonal contact
We would like to use our meetings to focus on our roles as coaches through:
coaching skills practice
coaching case studies
business how to's
presentation skills
shared resources
networking & referrals
We also envisioned that we could collaborate to create coaching-related programs & events in the future, and create "energy dominoes" (ripple effects) to the society at large through our mastermind group.
We've agreed to commit ourselves to this group process, and we would send out invitations to the other two coaches who couldn't make it that day. The group decided that we would plan to meet once a month, and test out the group meeting format & frequency for the first couple of months. At that point, we will re-evaluate the effectiveness of our mastermind group. Depending on whether everyone would accept the invitation to form this mastermind group, we may or may not invite more members to join our group.
I hope for great success from our new mastermind group.
James Ray, one of the teachers in The Secret, just launched his own coaching program called "Success Certain Coaching". I was on the live preview Teleseminar "Secrets of Success Certain Coaching", and he gave many pearls of wisdom on that call. If you missed his preview Teleseminar with Alex Mandossian on April 5th, you can listen to the replay.
The first and foremost statement James Ray made on the call was:
"The fact is people (in any field) who have good coaches always achieve more than those without."
We know that athletes, in any field, will never go to tournaments without a good coach. Most Fortune 500 executives have their own executive coaches, and more and more companies are hiring business coaches for their middle management too. Professionals in performing arts such as singers, dancers, screen play writers also hire coaches to help them improve their crafts. In addition to the acting coach, voice coach and writing coach, more and more people in Hollywood are hiring life coaches to help them manage their lives and get ahead in their careers. In fact, The New York Times printed an article about this new trend. You can also check out what other media have said about coaching and the coaching FAQ.
You might think that you can learn a lot of the same knowledge, principles, and tools from self-help books, seminars and training programs. Why hire a life or business coach?
Have you noticed that some people would tell you, that they've read all kinds of self-help books and gone to all sorts of personal growth programs, and yet, when you look at their lives, they are still "stuck" at the same place, by the same issues? The truth is, knowing something by concept or theory is one thing; but being able to apply it to your own life and sticking to the new thoughts & behaviors is quite a different story. James Ray stated on the call that, "Most self help materials focus on philosophy and concepts rather than thoughts, feelings and action to produce outcomes." And that's why they don't work.
No matter how much you know about a subject, if you cannot take actions to apply what you know in real life, it's not going to work for you. Not only do you have to take actions, in order to make permanent changes in your life and in your business, you also have to do it consistently. In other words, you have to make the new thoughts and behaviors into new habits, your new success habits. And since Dr. Maxwell Maltz has proven that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, you would need some kind of support system to keep you accountable and on track.
That's where life or business coaches come in. A coach can help you get clear about your vision and goals, create action plans, support you, keep you accountable and motivated until you succeed.
Alternatively, you can also join a mastermind group, which also provides support and group accountability. Depending on how the mastermind group is set up, how often you meet, whether there's a clear leadership, agenda and/or a focused common goal among group members, and how committed group members are, your result might differ.
Now, there's another option. Besides one-on-one coaching, group coaching programs are on the rise. Group coaching is a cost-effective alternative for those who would like to work with a coach, but can't afford the private coaching fee. There's also an added bonus of group accountability, in addition to the individual accountability between you and the coach.
Group coaching is a powerful option that works well for people who thrive on the synergy of working with a small group of like-minded people. I've noticed this trend that more and more coaches are offering group coaching programs that combine coaching and mastermind group. For example, Michael Port's Book Yourself Solid 15-Week Intensive Coaching Program includes two weekly conference calls with the coaches, and one weekly mastermind call with Book Yourself Solid Team Leaders, among other things. So you are working with the coach, as well as a small mastermind group as your accountability partners, throughout the coaching program.
Mastermind coaching groups are designed for people who have a similar goal or challenge. For example, get more clients, learn specific business skills, work on relationships, create information products, lose weight, etc. The overall objective for these mastermind coaching groups is the individual success of each and every participant. These groups are interactive and fast paced and are built on the concept of leveraging and growing from the experiences of the other participants. The group shares ideas, techniques and individual success strategies. Participants have found that the mastermind format dramatically increases the success rate for each individual group member.
In addition to the benefits of a regular mastermind group (support, synergy, group accountability, networking, referrals, etc), a mastermind coaching group offers even more because of what a professional coach can bring to the table. A professional coach, as the facilitator of a mastermind coaching group, can serve as an objective sounding board, bring a different perspective, help the group communicate and brainstorm solutions, offer additional resources and tools, and keep the group focused, motivated, and moving forward.
If you have a business or a personal goal that you would like to get support and accountability for, and you enjoy working with a group, then a mastermind coaching group, i.e. a group coaching program with a mastermind group component, might be the right choice for you.
In honoring the Chinese New Year, I always go to my children's schools to give presentations, which include story-telling, crafts, videos about New Year traditions, and at the end the children get to do a little lion dance with a small lion head I have. It's a lot of fun for the kids and teachers.
One of the most popular stories I tell is the legend of Chinese Zodiac. This year, as I was telling the story, I thought of the valuable lessons we can learn and apply to mastermind groups.
The legend has it that Buddha was not feeling well one day, and the fairies were trying to cheer him up by inviting animals from all over the country to come to a party for Buddha. Thirteen animals were invited, including the cat and the rat, who lived on a farm together and were best friends back then. The cat wanted to take a nap, and asked the rat to wake him up when everyone was ready to leave. However, the rat did not wake up the cat, and the animals left without the cat. It was unknown whether the rat forgot, or purposefully did not wake up the cat.
So, all 12 animals got on their journey to see Buddha. When they were near the Buddha's house, they came upon a river. Now, the rat couldn't swim, so he begged the ox to carry him across the river. The ox was strong and kind, and he gave the rat a ride. They both got over the river safely, and the rat quickly jumped off the ox and was the first animal to reach the Buddha's house. The ox came in second. Buddha decided to name the 12 animals as the Chinese Zodiac to represent each year.
It was said that cat and rat became great enemies since then, because the rat cost the cat the opportunity to be one of the 12 animals of the Zodiac.
Now, what does this legend have to do with mastermind groups?
I think it's extremely important to pick and choose who you invite in your mastermind group. It could make all the difference in how successful your mastermind group is, and how successful each of your members in achieving his/her own goals.
Obviously, you would want to include more "ox" people in your group, i.e. those who will give you a lift and carry you through challenges, so that both of you will arrive at the finish line and achieve your goals.
Beware of the "rat" people who appear to be your friends, but would abandon you or sabotage you when the going gets tough, or because they are only concerned about their own success.
You might consider some of these characteristics when selecting your mastermind group members:
People who are "givers" rather than "takers" People who will get along and collaborate well with others People who are open minded People who respect differences and other viewpoints People who are committed People who communicate well People who are creative, innovative thinkers People who share and/or support your vision and core values
The biggest asset of mastermind groups is the people. By being selective about who you include in your mastermind group, you can greatly enhance your masterminding experience and success.
HueinaSu recently posted to her blog about Building A Success Team. Among her suggestions to building the success team, she discusses: Accountability Partners, Calling in the Professionals, Coaching, and Daring to Connect.
Of particular interest to me was her thoughts on Finding the Right Crowd and Masterminding:
Be very careful about who you tell your goals and dreams to. You want to share your dreams and goals only with those who will support your vision, believe in you, and help you succeed. Sometimes as you make positive changes in your life, you would find that not everybody around you is happy and supportive of your new endeavor. Even your own family or friends could be "pulling your leg", because they might be jealous or afraid that your relationship will change. So, be very careful to keep your dream and goals only to yourself and those who you know will support you.
Jim Rohn, self-made millionaire and successful author, said "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with". You want to surround yourself with people who are more successful, or at least as successful as you. You will be inspired by them and receive resources from them. Joining or creating a mastermind group is a great way to surround yourself with like-minded, driven, successful people that will propel you to higher level of success.
If all your friends want to do is complain about their problems, maybe it's time you make new friends. Don't get me wrong. Sometimes you do need to vent and release the emotions. But, there is a clear distinction between occasional venting and chronic complaining. If you find yourself in "The Whiners Club", get out of there and join a mastermind or support group instead.
EvanCarmichael.com is the world's #1 website for small business motivation and strategies. Evan also runs a series of successful Mastermind Groups in Toronto for entrepreneurs.
Guest Contributor: Hueina Su
" by SuEllen Hamkins and Renee Schultz.
. I first heard of this book from another coach I was working with last year. She is a "scanner" and could see the same quality in me. After reading the book, I have to agree with her.
