Last month I wrote about deciding to leave my mastermind group after 5 years. You might be wondering why. After all, 5 years with the same group suggests it must have been working well for me to stay so long, right?
Yes, and no.
What worked well?
- Trust was established early on so that we felt safe to be vulnerable with each other. That helped us to confront our self-sabotage and resistance.
- Diversity of our businesses and life experiences brought a wealth of insights, resources, expertise and potential leads.
- Many of the meetings were highly productive and motivating. Each time I left I was inspired and eager to take the next steps. In this group, I turned many pivotal corners to take my business out in a bigger way.
What didn't?
- Group size was too small at three. While adding new people was discussed, no move to invite others to join occurred. We missed out on having fresh perspectives and resources that would re-energize the group.
- Scheduling problems. Because we were so small, if one or two had unexpected conflicts, we scrambled to reschedule which sometimes made the times in between meetings too long.
- Certain basics of the group began to slide; having agreements written by the first day of each month, actual business check-ins started late and meeting times lengthened. There were times when we just wanted to socialize rather than to maximize the intent of the group. We got lazy too often.
- Accountability was inconsistent. Breaking of monthly promises and agreements occurred. I suggested weekly calls or emails to stay on track. The other members declined to add additional accountability.
As I read over this article, I realize that there were more things about the group that wasn't working for too long. Staying together had become too comfortable. We allowed our progress to be acceptable rather than challenging us to be our best.
I'm in the process of organizing a new group of six to begin in the New Year. I'm so excited!
In recent posts, I mentioned I have been in a small Mastermind group for about four years. We're all good friends and come together once a month for about 4 hours. I admit our structure is a bit loose in some strategic ways and, over the years, we have made changes to include stronger accountability and motivation. Overall, I have still found the group to lack a degree of consistency and focus in fulfilling our monthly intentions. We all realize how we contribute to a degree of laxness and avoidance that exists in the group.
So, I have found myself evaluating the effectiveness of this group several times over the last 18 months to gain clarity. I began to think about leaving. After all, it has been 4 years!
1. What was working in the group? What wasn't?
2. What was really bugging me about the group?
3. Had I communicated my concerns to the group so that possible changes could be made?
4. Was I looking forward to the group meetings? If not, why not?
5. Were we still a good fit as a mastermind team?
6. Were my needs getting met in the group?
7. Was I showing up for others in a way that held them to their best?
8. What was my contribution to the lack of effectiveness?
9. In thinking about leaving, what were my true motivations? Avoidance of accountability? Fear of success or failure? It just wasn't working for me anymore?
10. Was it time to move on?
My final decision was to leave the group and form a new one. I realized that if I stayed it would be out of loyalty to my friends and at the expense of my commitment to my personal and business success. Additionally, how would I be serving my friends by staying for the wrong reasons in my desire to support their own success?
So often we hold onto things because we fear change and it's comfortable to stay with the status quo. What might be the cost be to hold on when letting go opens more doors of opportunities and possibilities?
I suspect with my departure my friends will invite some new folks to join. I see this decision as a good stretch for us all to experience fresh viewpoints and make some new connections
In my post last month I talked about monthly agreements and the language of each promise. I've been asked several times to make the distinction between promises and to-do lists.
Here's one way to look at the difference. When setting your sights on a goal you wish to reach in the future, you will typically lay out an action plan that includes the steps you will take to get from here to there, right? In other words, what you will do to arrive at your destination. Each step will have a result. While it might initially start out as a promise, you might find yourself slipping into creating a to-do list.
One of your goals might be to systematize your business so that you're working more efficiently. Your steps might include:
1. Evaluating current programs and continuing to upgrade where needed
2. Calling web person to revamp your website
3. Scheduling time to declutter and organizing your office
4. Ordering new office equipment
5. Updating your marketing material
6. Outsourcing work
7. Registering for a new course or training
I make this distinction because getting caught up in making lists rather than being accountable or in integrity to the promises being made will affect the value received from masterminding. The goal is not to show how busy you are doing stuff, rather to make agreements that have a built in intention that challenge you to s-t-r-e-t-c-h outside of your comfort zone (which is why you're in a mastermind group!).
The agreements you make are meant to nudge you forward and might create some discomfort so that you feeling slightly off balance. Being slightly off kilter offers opportunities to limitless possibilities that can lead to rich results. In fact, you might choose to add something in your promises that is deliberately uncomfortable with the intent of kicking things up a notch.
So be bold in challenging yourself to have what you desire. The possibilities are endless.
I've had my own personal mastermind group for about 5 years. Over the last five years the group has undergone many transformational changes including becoming more serious and intentional about the results we wanted.
One of the changes we implemented last year was the idea of creating monthly agreements. Essentially, we made a mental paradigm shift on the idea of goal-setting to focus on committing to monthly agreements; making self-promises and that you agree to fulfill to yourself and the group.
In other words, being in integrity with yourself about who you are and what you really want thereby enlisting your mastermind team to hold you to your best in keeping your promises. How good do you feel when you say you'll do something and then you don't do it?
Note: the promises are meant to stretch you out of your comfort zone so that you are challenging yourself to growth yourself and your business. They reflect your dreams and desires in ways that are meant to motivate and inspire you forward.
Here's what we do:
All monthly promises are due in writing on the first day of each month to include the name of each person and the month date. Promises are emailed to each member in advance of our upcoming meeting. (We meet monthly on the first Friday of each month).
The language of each promise is important. Agreements include both business and personal intentions. Promises are stated in succinct and action-based language. For example: Attend 5 networking events this month. Secure three speaking engagements. Exercise 4-5 times per week, 30-45 minutes (min. 2 days strength train, 2-3 days cardio). Schedule 3 strategic get-acquainted coffee meetings with prospects. If the language is wishy-washy, we hold each person accountable to restate the promise with deeper intention. The number of monthly promises varies and is not meant to become a to-do list.
Each month we debrief on our progress and deal with any resistance and obstacles. Conversations are authentic and direct with compassion and accountability. Fostering a strong relationship of safety and integrity with my group has enabled me to be authentic and vulnerable with them about my challenges and opportunities especially during those times when it gets a bit emotional and confrontational. Frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way. That's what they are there to do - hold me to my best so that I am living my vision.
EvanCarmichael.com is the world's #1 website for small business motivation and strategies. Evan also runs a series of successful Mastermind Groups in Toronto for entrepreneurs.
Guest Contributor: Lorraine Cohen
