Every once in a while our group gets stagnant... Whatever we had stops working. So we basically call a halt. There is no designated halter. But whoever calls it somehow wakes up the rest of us and we begin to question ourselves and then reinvent ourselves and rejuvenate ourselves.
We have periodically lapsed into conversations that seemed to involve basic philosophies. So we modified our current format in the following way: Each of us had a few minutes to express our basic philosophy: our religiosity, our spirituality. Then each of us had 2 minutes to comment. (Given that there are now 7 of us, this will take more than one session.) Fascinating session. We all learned something, probably from each one of us. Certainly we all had formed opinions about each other, but then heard each of our own self evaluations.
The fascinating thing was matching our weekly actions against who we said we were, what our opinions were and so on. We haven't completed our first round, we only went through five of us. Then we'll reinvent a new weekly process. What's clear is that we've all discovered (or rediscovered) that we love one another and cherish the Mastermind.
This has been an interesting year so far and it's just underway. We've expanded to 7 members and we are still figuring out how to reorganize while still growing in our individual projects. Ira has gotten his multi-million dollar business started. And the reason it will succeed is that it will save lives, making life safer for over a million kids a year. Sandy has re-organized his holistic health center and is busier than ever... Mark has booked significantly more business so far this year than ever before. Ron and Doug are more creative than ever and Mike has just landed a brand new job. I've had an emotionally difficult year, but I am attracting more and more good things into my life.
We are now looking to invent or discover a new project that we can all work on together - not as easy as it sounds. We are in three different states so geography is definitely a consideration. I think a first step will be to have a face to face day-long meeting. I'll keep you posted.
We were ragged over the new year - vacations and holidays had us postpone ourselves until the 13th-- and then we had a hiccough for the inauguration. But we're back and raring to go. We started with a surprise. One of our members invited a friend to join us. He sat in on our meeting and we are now faced with a dilemma. Yes, we like him, but should we expand to seven? Can we?
Particularly as we are looking at inventing a group project… so in addition to doing what now works, we are exploring a project that will involve all of us-- something that will make a difference, one that will benefit all of us. I have no idea, but it will stretch our thinking and in that way, it fits our idea of the possibility of a mastermind group.
So we have two new projects. Can we and should we expand to seven members? Either way, we are imposing a new understanding of our own structure. And what will we take on as a group project. Should be a facinating year.
This is how I always finish my years - reflecting on this year and setting my plans: intentions , goals for 2009. It's the easiest homework I have when preparing for my clients. And now, one of my categories is my mastermind group--completing 2008 and inventing 2009.
The group began in March of 2008. We spent several months figuring ourselves out-- establishing our group size - we went from four to six; played with the possibility of seven, but focused on 6. Then we struggled with a format that allows for unstructured conversation and also has a fixed framework - hard to define, but we've made it work. We include an accomplishment and search for feedback about a challenge. We always start with a benediction and end with a final prayer. And, as I've written, we've struggled with our individual and group spirituality. It works for all of us. We've each had significant personal breakthroughs, in different parts of our lives, ranging from business, to health…
Mark has made more in this last month than in the previous 6 months. Ira is creating a new enterprise that will save children lives and make serious money I've started a new business thinks to a coach the group had me hire Ron has written and gotten funding for a significant film. Sandy has had miraculous breakthroughs in health and Doug is exploding in new business. And is working with me to produce a television show/series on reversing autism. We credit the group for this. There's a simple moral: Get into a mastermind and make it work for you. Love one another.
When we meet again --delayed for year end until January 7, we've agreed to spend the session creating 2009 for the group. Looking at creating a group project. Let you know next month.
Our group seems to be stabilized - working powerfully for each of us and expanding our mutual consciousness. We normally meet. on Tuesday nights, though because of Thanksgiving in two days, we decided to call it off this week, reconvening on December2. We are all thankful for this group and each day in our lives, regardless of individual circumstances.
Inside of a format that includes accomplishments and coaching requests and commitments, we are broadly looking in two related directions. One is that we are convinced and committed that there is something calling this group - as a group - to participate in something that will make a difference for the world -
And we continue to examine our own spirituality and how that occurs in the group. One of us is a very devoted born-again Christian; 4 others of us are Jewish. All of us have participated in programs given by Landmark Education. The God conversation arises frequently. Each of us has his own personification - from the Law of Attraction to Jesus. Regardless, we start with an invocation and close with a benediction. And who knows what next year will bring. Stay tuned.
Our group has been alive for over a year now and it continues to evolve. Looking backwards, I suppose I could summarize our first year by saying we've concentrated on having our relationships get closer and more important. And we've tried to organize ourselves, despite our penchant for talking, We've carefully grown from our four initial people to a stable six in the group, The increased size has forced us to become more organized.
Recently, we've looked at how we can make our requests for coaching extend beyond the few minutes for coaching in the call itself. For example, one of our group wanted coaching on recreating his passion and enthusiasm for developing his new business. I called him two days later and spent about 20 minutes having him specify his problem and I then recommended an exercise which he reports as being highly effective. Another member wrote to him suggesting that he modify his mission statement to be more forceful and immediate. And worked to provide a possible revision for him.
What this amounts to is that we consider our MM group increasingly important in our lives, worth much more than an hour;s worth of time a week.
Two weeks ago, I shared with my Mastermind that I was in a down space; my coaching practice was down and my finances were very down.
This was the feedback -- They could tell; they could hear it in my voice. Then they told me I needed to hire a source, a coach. I AM a coach, but I've been without a coach for several years. And any coach will tell you to have a coach - particularly if you're a coach.
It was the perfect advice. I found a superb coach. She saw that I was missing my connection to Spirit. I knew everything. I have an old cartoon by Herb Gardner: "I am so smart I make myself sick." And, as Werner Erhard says: Understanding is the booby prize.
I think that - for the first time, I've actually been coachable. She had me call my old clients and ask them to assess me - positive and negative. The feedback has been wonderful. I've recovered myself. I thought my life is about making a difference. It is, but I've left out myself.
Yes, the coach is superb. But it was my Mastermind group that was willing to say the harsh realities that motivated me. You just don't know what a group can provide.
A lot has happened since last we 'spoke.' I completed with my large Mastermind. I missed a meeting and had to look at what caused me to do that. I no longer give any credence to, "I forgot." I had to conclude that I wasn't getting value equal to my required/desired commitment.
At the same time, my other group has grown from 4 to 7. We have become organized, but with no loss of bonding. But once again, I caused some provocative thought. When we were at 6 people, I met an old friend and I realized he would be great for the group and vice versa. So I invited him in. Without checking with the other members. That was precipitous and basically rude.
Every single member of the group called me on it. I had to clean it up. I spent the first minutes on the call introducing him and opening him up for questions by the members. I told him he might be rejected and I apologized to him and to the group for my boorishness.
The whole thing was out of left field, but in my opinion it resulted in us being a tighter group. We've tested our boundaries on many levels and have moved forward individually and as a Mastermind.
This is the most important thing I've noticed about both my mastermind groups (the third didn't work out and has disbanded.) And it sounds casual, even inconsequential.
You're not in it because of your wisdom. You're in it because of theirs. So be sure you come to each call with what you want to know; where can coaching support what you're up to. If the word coaching doesn't appeal to you, where can brainstorming help?
This arose forcefully in my group of six, when at the end of one session, one of the participants asked us all to look at this question, "How can you come to this call and not be eager to take the coaching?"
I was being a generous ego. I'd gladly support any of them and then I'd listen, gathering what I could. But it takes real effort to determine what I want, what I want now. And to phrase that in such a way that they would understand what I need.
So I really looked at why I was hiding from the coaching. After all, I'm a coach. There's something there about why people are not eager for my coaching. I am still examining this question. It matters to my projects; it matters to my relationship with this group; it matters to my business.
One of the things I keep learning from the Mastermind groups I'm in is waiting for my turn. I keep bumping into my own ego - I keep wanting everyone to be there for me - for me to tell them what they should do and for everyone concentrating on supporting what I want. Particularly those times when I'm either bubbling up with ideas or doubling over with problems
I'd like to think that's only my past showing up. I have overcome that (hah!) But I haven't. And it keeps teaching me the most important part of the Mastermind. I have to listen. And no matter how well I think I listen, there's still more to it.
I'm a coach and the most valuable thing I bring to any coaching session is the way I listen. Clients get much more from my listening than they do from anything I say.
The most valuable Mastermind listening happens when someone other than me is offering coaching to someone else. Even when I know that I'm not particularly interested in that person's problem. Because I've discovered that I'm very interested in that person. But besides that, no one ever speaks only to that person and only about their issue. They are always speaking to me about my issue; I just have to listen.
So my foolish impatience keeps my attention in the wrong place. When I'm only interested in me, I am not paying attention to what is very likely my most valuable input.
I guess I have a lot to share - something from each of my masterminds - now 3. So, first: The more the merrier. The mastermind calls take no time - four hours every two weeks. And each group has different people, of course and a different purpose.
I can't decide how to call them - let's go A,B,C
Group A, the longest and most stable. Each of us has a commitment to fulfill a worldwide mission. The structure is essentially: Share and accomplishment, request coaching, hear the coaching and commit to one or more.
I am currently working on coaching professional staffs on workplace relationships. I've authored a book called The Laws of Relationships. I'm trying to figure out how to spread its influence. I had a flash of inspiration, to generate my book into an e-course and market that to other coaches. Because professional staffs are an under served market. So when I had that mastermind only a few minutes later, I didn't ask for coaching.
One of the participants said, I'm incomplete with this. How come you're not chomping at the bit for the coaching this group provides? I was going to blow her off, but she started me really thinking (so much so that I passed it on to other groups.) I saw she had caught me in, “I already know - so I don't need coaching” - a way of thinking that pops up over and over and keeps me stuck. So a great mastermind question - why aren't you chomping at the bit for the coaching?
Group B. One of our weekly group, R, (now grown to 5 people) is a born-again Christian; the other 4 of us are Jewish. R is called to serve people by 'spreading the word' and wonders whether he belongs in our group. This opened up a profound discussion, that lasted 2 sessions. We were all called upon to look at our own spiritual values and our relationship to his strong feelings. We're perfectly content with his contributions. And -if anything - he has altered our pre-existing assumptions.
Group C, the just begun business group. I was hosting and probably will until we have greater stability. What struck me was when one of the members objected to the coaching mindset. He simply said, why don't we each raise an issue and then have suggestions on how to resolve it? Interesting how the vocabulary shifts the context. I have no objections at all to his phraseology. And I agree with him about the implications that 'a coach' is on a higher level than a mere mortal.
I am fortunate to be mentored by Jay Abraham (probably the foremost marketing and personal/business development mind in the game.) Several hundred participate in his monthly calls on developing passive income streams.
As you know, I belong to two masterminds. I should tell you, having nothing to do with masterminding that in my international group there is now a new mother and an about to be mother. I'm 71.
I've set up and just had my first meeting of a third, brand new mastermind, comprising people in my mentoring group. There are 10 of us. Our objective is to support ourselves in developing passive income opportunities. We assume that not all of us will make the call each time, but I've arranged to have them recorded. We know this will give the rotating time keeper a great deal of responsibility. The time allocated for each of us can change each call (every other week.) By the time my next article is written we will have completed our first two two sessions, in which five of us introduce ourselves each time - and we'll have gotten down to work.
Each session will start with anyone who needs time requesting it and with anyone with no requests for coaching to bow out for the call. Like I said, this will certainly train the time keeper in time management.
Why not have more than one?---One for general entrepreneur activities, one for furthering our commitments to make a difference in the world and one to develop passive income streams... well worth three hours a month.
I've now been in each of my Mastermind groups for about 6 months. I find them fascinating and, at the least, useful. And they're very different. I'll call them 4 and 7 to distinguish them.
The 4 group fell into chaos over the holidays. With only four members, when two were out, the other two have developed a wonderful relationship and felt lonely and neglected (boo hoo). Seriously, we had to get serious about showing up on time and we've all messed that up. The camaraderie is still exceptional and we all feel that there's great potential in the group. We're still groping at how to realize it. The talent level is extraordinary as is our mutual commitment to make a difference in the world.
The 7 group has been running along well with a solid structure. So, naturally, we decided to relook at it. We devoted a session plus to looking at what we would do to improve it. Interestingly, given the state of workability, we felt free to suggest personalized variations. So we suggested that people could vary their time allotment if they asked to. We also looked at each person specifying the context of their requests for coaching, reasoning that how we would listen depended on that. Each of us is living, based on a commitment to making a specific difference. For example, one way of saying mine is that we're inspired and empowered to be fulfilled, living in harmony with Earth. Two of the interesting changes are 1) We finally agreed on a stable meeting time - Imagine how great we've been showing up on time when each meeting we had to create a new time for the next one! And 2) We agreed not to call anyone who was late - This is the we're all adults rule.
Surprisingly, the level of commitment is greater in the 7 group and the feeling of love is stronger in the 4s. Obviously, evolution is constant. See you in 3 weeks.
My Mastermind-7 is working; it's well-structured, has wonderful participants and makes a difference. We meet over the phone, being intercontinental, rotate facilitators and time-keepers, etc. I love it. So how come I forgot about the call this week?
And I'm a coach and I coach others about managing our time. So how come?
Whenever a client doesn't do what s/he said, some real coaching becomes possible. They are not allowed to say, "I forgot." There is no such thing as forgetting. Well, I've put the remedy in - I saw that I ran an errand that consumed the time for the phone call. And so I've taken to including even small errands on my schedule. But that doesn't offer any insight into 'how come?'
There are only three places to look - 1) we share a success we've had 2) we did the action we said we'd do in the previous session 3) we share the coaching we need. So in at least one of those places I was hiding. And as I've looked, I see that I've messed up in several areas, and they're big.
I really didn't have a success to share. I mean - sure I did, but not in the area I was looking, not in the area I'm being coached on. Hmm. But mostly, I have only generic goals and haven't articulated anything really specific. And I will do that - for myself, of course, but also to reestablish my integrity in the group
So one of the values of the group is this self-examination. I don't recommend it as a practice. I do endorse our mastermind's commitment to maintaining the integrity of the group.
I've been writing about being in two, very different Mastermind groups - one is very well structured - so I'll write about the other.
We have all connected on a very spiritual level. We love talking to one another. But we are feeling a need for structure.
A major difference between the groups is that one has 7 members and the other has 4. With 7 members, there is no alternative; we have to have a structure or the group would be incoherent - And if we didn't have established time constraints, one or more people would always be shut out. But with only 4 people, we can ramble.
I never thought of myself as time-disciplined, so two of us got together and proposed this: We would have a strict, time managed agenda for 1/2 hour, then we'd schmooze for the next 20 to 25 minutes. Then we would close with expressions of gratitude and appreciation and a completion prayer or quote.
The structured 1/2 hour would start with something to create the space (up to whoever is this week's facilitator - we would rotate facilitator and time keeper.) Every segment after is well-timed. Each person would have a turn, first completing their promised commitment from the last session, then bringing forth what they want coaching on. Then each of the other three will give their coaching without any interaction. And finally, the requestor says what his commitment will be, though he can take as much of the coaching as he wants.
We've just proposed this though we suspect the other two will agree to it - perhaps with some quibbling about the duration of the time slots. I'll let you know as we learn and proceed.
I belong to two Mastermind groups. They're both new - less than 2 months old - so my writing is really a work in progress.
One of the groups has seven of us in it. We have very quickly created ground rules, structure, rotating leaders, etc. Totally on purpose and immediately functioning. Not only that, we seem to have instant respect and mutual trust. All of us have a common training, though completely varied backgrounds. We are all graduates of Landmark Education's senior course, Power & Contribution, and each of us has a huge commitment that we're using the group to propel forward. One thing I've already gotten is that after 8 years as a professional coach, I've finally defined a niche for myself, something I always resisted. This is reflected in my new signature line ( Partnering Professionals to lives of joyous satisfaction.) Five of the seven are in Canada and we speak every two weeks. Our hardest problem is finding meeting times.
The other group is completely different. The four of us are still scrambling to define a structure. We have completely merged on a spiritual level. So far we have talked haphazardly, but have come to know one another in deep ways. We've finally decided to come to each session with a project and an issue that the rest can support us with. We speak weekly. One of us is in Maryland, the other 3 in New Jersey, but close to two hours apart.
I love both groups and anticipate marvelous results for all.
I've just begun to use Mastermind groups - I'm in two of them. Now it seems that friendship is inevitable (and I like that) and that trust is essential. But what builds that?
Well, let's look at what I want from the group. I want useful suggestions on what I'm looking for (which may well change from meeting to meeting.)
Last time I brought up an idea I've had for a new product (to me a mega-idea) And my group put it down and gave their reasons for putting it down (as well as suggesting some work I could do that would validate their input). I was crushed. But do I trust their input - I mean do I trust the validity of their input, the viability of my idea? Would I trust them more if they were orgasmic about the idea?
Will I use disappointment to invalidate trust? On the contrary, I will use that to increase trust. It takes something to give that feedback.
In fact, that's what I want; that's why I joined this group - to get honest feedback from other points of view. If they shared my point of view, I would only be getting echoes of my point of view. It means I can trust their positive input also - and it reinforces my ability to give honest feedback to them.
EvanCarmichael.com is the world's #1 website for small business motivation and strategies. Evan also runs a series of successful Mastermind Groups in Toronto for entrepreneurs.
Guest Contributor: Michael Lipp
