Tweet

Bridges and Boundaries

Guest post by: Jim Stovall

Article Overview: In every human relationship, there will be either a series of bridges or a series of boundaries. Bridges are the trust emotions that link us to others. Boundaries are the distrust emotions that create barriers of perceived protection around us. Both bridges and boundaries will be tested by those we relate to as soon as they are established.

Bridges and Boundaries

In every human relationship, there will be either a series of bridges or a series of boundaries. Bridges are the trust emotions that link us to others. Boundaries are the distrust emotions that create barriers of perceived protection around us. Both bridges and boundaries will be tested by those we relate to as soon as they are established.

We have all experienced people who establish bridges at a rate we are not comfortable with. For example, if you meet a new neighbor who feels comfortable coming over to your house at all times of the day and night unannounced to borrow your things without permission, we could say that they have established a bridge that is not yet strong enough to support that element of your relationship. On the other hand, we all have friends of long standing who know that if they are truly in need, can come to our house at any hour and have anything that belongs to us that might help them. In this case, the bridge is strong enough to support that element of the relationship.

Boundaries work the same way. As soon as a boundary is established in a human relationship, it will be tested. If you tell your four-year-old not to get out of your yard, you can bet within a few moments, he or she will be at or beyond the boundary of your property. All bridges and boundaries will be tested.

Whenever possible in our personal and professional lives, it is better to build a bridge than a boundary. It is better to be involved with people you can trust because of the bridge you have built instead of only trusting them because of the boundary you have created.

The difference between being able to tell someone, "I trust you to handle this in the right way at the right time" is far superior than being forced to say, "Unless you perform in this fashion, I will be forced to penalize you." Given the opportunity, most people will strive to be trustworthy if presented with a bridge instead of a boundary. Obviously, we have prisons because some people cannot understand bridges and must be subjected to the ultimate boundary; however, most people will be as trustworthy as you expect them to be, and when you communicate the level of trust in your expectations, they will perform.

For over a decade as a blind person, I have given cash to literally hundreds of store clerks, hotel personnel, cab drivers, etc., many of whom already know that I am blind. To date, I have yet to have one person cheat me. If you go through life expecting people to be good, they generally will. Today, find a way to build a bridge and tear down the boundaries.

Today's the day!

Related Articles
  Are You Building Bridges of Influences?
  EXTEND YOUR BOUNDARIES
  3 Simple Questions to Lead People Through a Change Transition - by William Bridges
  Top 5 reasons to mix personal with business
  Got Some Bathwater to Throw Out? Why not Add a Baby?
  Are you building bridges or walls?
  Personal Boundaries: The Key to Creating Work and Life Your Way
  Just Say No!
  Setting Strong Boundaries- A Key Ingredient in Goal Achievement
  New 80/20 Equation
  Factoring: an alternative way to finance your business
  Refine Your Work Life Balance by Setting Healthy Boundaries
  Setting Boundaries
  Boundaries and standards: why you need both in your business and how to set them
  Women Entrepreneur Academy, Establishing Boundaries 101
  Having Good Boundaries Makes Great Presentations
  I is for (free) Information
  10 Reasons To Partner Up In Business
  Personal Development 101- Everything You Need To Know
  Real leadership is the only solution to any leadership crisis

Article Tags: boundaries, emotions, Jim Stovall, relationship



Related Forum Posts
Re: Balancing Your Man & Business - One issue is the same women face with little kids, if they run home based businesses. If you work out of your home, your man, or your kids, think you don't really work, and its okay to interrupt because it's "only them." But it actually is a major distraction to try to be doing some creative work and having your family coming at you all the time. Boundaries for home workers need to be set, and no guilting them out of it!


Share this article with your friends. Fund someone's dream.

Leave a comment below or share on the left and you'll help support entrepreneurs in Africa through our partnership with Kiva. Over $50,000 raised and counting - Please keep sharing! Learn more.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Effective Leadership

How to Write Your Articles for Better SEO

Small Business Internet Marketing

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.