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FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF

Guest post by: James Ladd

Article Overview: Abraham Maslow the renowned psychologist and creator of the HIERARCHY OF NEEDS once said that one of the best ways to begin feeling better about yourself was to set meaningful, attainable goals and then see yourself achieving them. He would go on to tell anyone who might be experiencing a low to average level of self-esteem to search out the origions of this negative view of the self and once done begin to set goals which are going to lead ‘away’ from those original aching experiences of life toward a more self-actualized self.

FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF

Abraham Maslow the renowned psychologist and creator of the HIERARCHY OF NEEDS once said that one of the best ways to begin feeling better about yourself was to set meaningful, attainable goals and then see yourself achieving them.

He would go on to tell anyone who might be experiencing a low to average level of self-esteem to search out the origions of this negative view of the self and once done begin to set goals which are going to lead ‘away’ from those original aching experiences of life toward a more self-actualized self.

Maslow defined self-actualization basically this way; “what a man can be, he must be.” This forms the basis of the perceived need for self-actualization. This level of need pertains to what a person's full potential is and realizing that potential. Maslow describes this desire as the desire to become more and more of what one is to become, everything that one is capable of becoming. So you need to climb the pyramid, moving up through the various levels of need for however long it may take, until you reach the summit of your ultimate life purpose, the true meaning of your life. Each step up the ladder comes with it a greater feeling of self-acceptance and acceptance of others.

The various need levels on the pyramid are defined this way:

Physiological needs; have to do with the maintenance of the human body. If we are unwell, then little else matters until we recover.

Safety needs; are about putting a roof over our heads and feeling safe from harm, living in a safe place.

Belonging needs; introduce our tribal nature. If we are helpful and kind to others they will want us as friends and people who love us.

Esteem needs; are for a higher position within a group, recognition, achievement If people respect us, we have greater power.

Know & understand; cognitive need to know and learn.

Aesthetic needs; appreciation of and for beauty.

Self-actualization needs; have to do with becoming who and what we are capable of becoming, which would be our greatest achievement.

Transcendence; helping others to achieve their potential.

Climbing the pyramid, moving up through the various levels of need, for however long it may take until you reach the summit is a clear message that life is really about process, about the journey and not so much about outcomes. And if in the process you use up a significant portion of your life and still do not reach the summit, your “ultimate life purpose,” well, I wouldn’t worry too much about it, that is if in the process you have lived your life congruently, a life that is in accordance with who you really are at all levels. That in itself is a life filled with purpose; living congruently and getting to know yourself.

How Does One Do this?

Start by being aware of where you are and what you are doing at all times.

Try feeding the four dimensions of self; body, mind, spirit and emotions, in the four dimensions of life; at work, away from work, with others and alone.

Become aware of your body and how important it is to the fullness of your life. Take time for exercise or at least do some physical activity that will get your heart pumping and your muscles working. And eat right. Keep the calories down, sugar down and salt way down. Treat your body right.

Stimulate your mind, acquire new knowledge through education, reading, problem solving, accept new challenges in relation to your chosen career, never become complacent. We have learned that if you do not stimulate your mind it will become fat and flabby, out of shape. That can lead to all kinds of unpleasant problems.

If there is one dimension of self that seems sadly neglected unless you count worshipping technology that would be the spirit. Learn to relax, perhaps through meditation, walking, yoga, listening to music, believe and trust in something bigger that yourself. Move outside of your world and comfort zone, BECOME AN EXPLORER.

Finally, ever though much of what we have created out there in the working world does not really encourage it, become aware of the emotional part of yourself, that part of your being that houses feelings; get in touch with what you feel, when you feel it and than learn how to better manage those feelings. It is called emotional intelligence and more and more is becoming a safe place to hang your hat without any stigma being attached to it and to you. If you are broken emotionally find the courage to fix yourself by whatever healthy and worthwhile means. Than when you are reasonable satisfied with all your hard efforts turn around and extend that emotional intelligence out to others. Be sensitive to the feelings of others and manage those relationships in thoughtful, meaningful ways.

Get into each room for a little while each and every day.

It is a long journey this thing called life, we need all the support we can get.



In my bulletin; “Everything That’s Beautiful Is Cracked, That’s How The Light Gets In,” published back in August of 2008, I quoted Leonard Cohen; singer songwriter, novelist and poet who said that “everything that’s beautiful is cracked, that’s how the light gets in.”

I said at that time that I believed he has captured the essence of beauty. Beauty is in the nature of our flaws. It is in our reflective self-awareness and acceptance of our imperfections that we discover our true beauty.

Once we begin to reach that level of maturity and self-esteem, approaching self-actualization, we increasingly behave and even radiate an inner goodness, grace and dignity, which becomes evident to the people around us. Acceptance of ourselves is eventually what leads us to becoming self-actualized. It allows us to transcend our imperfections, highlight and focus on our strengths and forge a life for ourselves and for those who we love in a congruent way with the essence of our being.

I said it back then and have absolutely no reason to change that belief!

I believe that in spite of the seemingly complex nature of our world today, our true self is actually love reflected. Become a positive force for good, it will make you feel better.

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Article Tags: abraham maslow, attainable goals, hierarchy of needs, selfesteem



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