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IS ANYBODY LISTENING?
| Guest post by: James Ladd |
Article Overview: I bet there have been times in your life and I am sure there will be times still to come when you feel depreciated, angry or drained. Have you ever wondered why that is? Now you might be inclined to think that it is quite simply that you are tired; worn out from to much work, to little sleep, from eating the wrong foods, driving yourself to hard, trying to do to much, from not living a balanced life. Any of the above may be the case at least some of the time but have you ever stopped to consider that; “it might be because people are not open to your energy!”
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Free Download - Get Over It By James Ladd |
IS ANYBODY LISTENING?
I bet there have been
times in your life and I am sure there will be times still to come when you
feel depreciated, angry or drained. Have you ever wondered why that is?
Now you might be
inclined to think that it is quite simply that you are tired; worn out from to
much work, to little sleep, from eating the wrong foods, driving yourself to
hard, trying to do to much, from not living a balanced life. Any of the above
may be the case at least some of the time but have you ever stopped to consider
that; “it might be because people are
not open to your energy!”
Our emotions are the
primary source of human energy, aspiration and drive, activating our innermost
feelings and purpose in life, and transforming them from things we think about,
to values we live, actions we take (where motivation comes from). Make no
mistake, if we are not right with
our emotional self, how can we ever expect to continuously stay the course and
work toward our life purpose?
So then, what does
not being open to one’s energy mean exactly?
Essentially, people
are just not listening; turned off by what you have to say or how you say it,
or maybe it is just that you turn them off? Perhaps all of the above?
Communication is so
vitally important and yet we give it so little attention in our day-to-day lives.
We just put ourselves out there with little or no regard for how we are being
received. Too often in our encounters with one another, we simply come from our
perspective, our place, our way of communicating; the way we see, interpret and
live in the world. Not often enough do we consider that perhaps others are
coming from a different perspective entirely.
" I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." Robert Mc Closkey
Yes, what I am
proposing is that when it seems that others are not open to your energy look to
yourself for the answer. Don’t put it off on others, take responsibility for it.
Tell yourself the truth about your communication.
In our relationships
with one another we must be sensitive to and understand how our style of
communication comes across to others and at the same time we must as much as
possible be aware of the communication style(s) of those we are trying to
communicate with. Being sufficiently aware of both ours and the other person’s
style provides us the opportunity to ‘style flex,’ or adjust our style to meet
the needs of the other person thus creating the best possible climate for
positive communication to take place. Sounds like a round about way of saying;
“practice Emotional Intelligence.”
Emotional
intelligence plays an integral role in defining character and determining both
our individual and group destinies. It involves the ability to monitor
one's own and others' emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use the
information to guide one's thinking and actions.
In short,
it means too embrace the power of emotions intelligently.
It involves abilities that may be
categorized into four domains:
Self-Awareness:
Observing
an emotion as it happens; realizing the prior ideas and conceptions that underlie
an emotional response; being open to intuitive insights; emotional honesty - a
developed sense of integrity and authenticity.
Self-Management: Facing up to fears and
anxieties, anger, sadness and discontent and expressing that energy
constructively, whilst retaining spontaneity.
Social
Awareness: Sensitivity to others' feelings and concerns and a willingness to
respect their perspective; valuing the differences in how people feel about
things; the capacity to trust and be trusted, to forgive and be forgiven.
Relationship
Management: Managing emotions in others through communication based on empathy
and understanding, to build mutual trust; social skills, including constructive
handling of disagreements and the ability to create and sustain friendships;
leadership effectiveness.
An important point to
make here is that much of the misunderstanding that manifests in our
communications with one another and which we too often ‘personalize’ to the degree
that relationships are damaged is really nothing more than not understanding
and being sensitive to one another’s styles. Very seldom in our communications
with one another is a person deliberately setting out to hurt or in some way
damage you and/or the relationship. As they say in Rome; “it was all just a
misunderstanding.”
We are all familiar
with IQ or intelligence quotient: a
measure of a person's intelligence. Know that has very little to do with
emotional intelligence and in and of itself will get you nowhere in
establishing meaningful relationships but emotional intelligence EQ will.
On the subject of; “is
anybody listening,” in very broad terms emotional intelligence could be called
a sophisticated form of listening that
is listening beyond just the words. Sophisticated listening involves paying
attention to not just the words but to the feelings behind or underlying the
words.
Unfortunately by now
you probably know that listening no matter how you define it is one of our most
neglected of skills or maybe even art forms?
In this fast paced world
we have created and live in today, there seems little room, time or even the
desire for legitimate and truly meaningful face-to-face communication. All we
seem to have time for these days as we run from one appointment to the next are
quick and desperate conversations on our cell phones, ‘tweeting and texting’ and
a promise that just as soon as I find some time we’ll get together for a cup of
coffee and catch up!
Truly meaningful communication;
open to your own as well as another’s energy is only going to happen if we attach
sufficient value to it in our lives.
Coach Ladd
The Art of Heart-Listening
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Article Tags: communication, emotional intelligence, energy, listening, living a balanced life
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About the Author: James Ladd RSS for James's articles - Visit James's website Click here to visit James's website   THE MERITS OF SCREWING UP How Old Would You Be If You Didnt Know How Old You Were EVERYTHING THATS BEAUTIFUL IS CRACKED THATS HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN ITS ABOUT PROCESS NOT OUTCOMES OR WHAT FOOTBALL TAUGHT ME FOR THE WANT OF A NAIL |
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