MOST OF US REMAIN STRANGERS
"Most of us remain strangers to ourselves, hiding who we are, and ask other strangers, hiding who they are, to love us." -Leo Buscaglia
Okay, we need an agreement to start. Let’s all agree that for our own mental health and well-being we need to love and be loved. Operating then on this assumption, there is unfortunately an incredible amount of truth attached to Buscaglia’s quotation. One thing that for sure my life of experiences has taught me is that the likelihood of finding a deep and meaningful love relationship is directly proportional to the amount of time and effort I have spent in getting to truly know and accept myself. And of course finding a partner who is of the same mind and who has or is doing the work as well. And in the saying, remember at the end of the day we alone are responsible for our own; attitudes, beliefs, perceptions and behaviours. So, if you are still trying to blame your first family for all the hardship in your life, forget it!!
We, each of us, have a responsibility to ourselves first, outside of any obligation we might feel toward others, to know who we are, where we are in time (now) and how we came to this place. In order to be our very best for others (those we love or seek to love) we should not accept anything less.
Getting to know and accept oneself requires an incredible amount of courage and discipline; a willingness to take responsibility for our lives, never project or blame others for our situation in life and always, always tell ourselves the truth. I believe however we are able to do this, once done (more often though, it takes a lifetime but worth the journey) we create the greatest opportunity and likelihood of finding and keeping profound, meaningful, loving relationships. In the case of meeting and committing to a life partner this could not be truer. If we put out a positive vibration or message to our world and are patient in the doing, we are more likely to meet a person who has similar or like values and who is on that same journey to self-actualization that we are. We can then continue the journey together, enriching each other’s lives and the lives of others.
I particularly learned through my four year journey to the edge of death and back, if you put something positive out there and keep giving it positive energy, something good will always come back. Just be patient. Knowing “what” to put out there, that’s the challenge. And the knowing can only come from getting in touch with our true essence even if it requires peeling back the layers and exposing ourselves to the fear, pain and yes, the joy of personal growth.
Oh, and one more thing, let’s not forget that sometimes when we open up to people we let the bad in with the good. However, if you have opened up to the knowledge of who you are ahead of this, dealing through the bad isn’t so bad. Don’t remain a stranger to yourself; pack up your “baggage” and head on down the road less traveled.
Your Personal Coach
Have a question for James? Ask or leave a comment below!