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REINVENTING YOURSELF
Written by: James LaddArticle Overview: Recently and again, I had an opportunity to visit with Geoff Currier on The Nighthawk, CJOB’s evening show. Geoff asked me to join him in a discussion of how some people manage to re-invent themselves and he used the example of Frank McCourt the author of Angela’s Ashes to start things off. As a Life & Business Coach my work with clients is all about reinvention but perhaps not in the way you may think.
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REINVENTING YOURSELF
Recently and again, I
had an opportunity to visit with Geoff Currier on The Nighthawk, CJOB’s evening
show. Geoff asked me to join him in a discussion of how some people manage to
re-invent themselves and he used the example of Frank McCourt the author of Angela’s
Ashes to start things off.
As a Life & Business Coach my work with clients
is all about reinvention but perhaps not in the way you may think. The idea that a person
can actually reinvent themselves, that is turn themselves into someone or
something else entirely, is one that I believe to be widely misunderstood and I
explained my position. The huge misconception out there is this; reinventing
oneself is not about changing into someone or something else, something new or
entirely different but rather it is about “living life from the place of who
you truly are – your most authentic inner self,”(Nancy Fox). In other words we,
all of us, are on a journey through life of self-discovery and if as we travel
we make an effort to move forward in positive ways that are congruent with our
values and needs, we will find and live out our life purpose, what we were
truly meant to do or to be.
“I
absolutely believe this to be one of life’s greatest truths!”
For those who may not know, Frank McCourt after
surviving a horrific childhood in Ireland and the United States, went on to
serve in the US Army during the Korean War and upon his return took advantage
of the GI Bill to attend New York University and become a teacher. For the next
30 years he taught English to young people primarily in high school until he
retired at the age of 66 and wrote Angela’s Ashes in 1996. It was an immediate
success and he won the Pulitzer Prize. He then went on to write two other
books; ‘Tis and Teacher Man. He died in July of 2009.
Was this a case of a
man reinventing himself, I think not but rather it was the culmination of a
journey toward his “life Purpose.” And he arrived at just the right time to
begin his writing.
One
must never discount or downplay the journey toward “purpose” but embrace, enjoy
and experience it as fully as possible. Remember too that more times than not,
others are involved in our journey which makes us a part of their journey, so
make it positive.
In Frank McCourt’s
case the hundreds of students he guided along the way as their teacher. I
wonder how he affected their lives.
* * * * * * *
Driving home after the show I found myself wondering
about people I knew who had made significant changes in the way they were
operating in the world and then it hit me, and I was overwhelmed with emotion
by the though of my oldest son Chris.
Chris was in so many
ways a typical boy that is at least for his first 10 years and than something
changed in a way that I could never have anticipated in my wildest dreams. At
his request it started with buying him a guitar and setting him up in guitar
lessons. He never looked back.
To say that Chris
took to the guitar like a duck to water was an understatement. He never missed
a lesson and never needed to be reminded to practice, in fact had to be pulled
away to attend to other activities to try and keep some balance in his life. It
wasn’t long before it seemed that he disappeared into the basement to focus on
his music. After a number of years I began to wonder if he would ever come out.
I would throw food down on occasion so that he would not starve, even sneak
down after he was asleep to do his laundry. Other shady looking characters with
long hair and guitars would come and go and every once in a while, if the music
stopped, I would yell just to check to see that he was still alive!
This seemed to go on
for the better part of 9 years and than one day he came up out of the basement
and said to me; “dad me and the guys have formed a band and are going to start
playing out!” He called the band; “Bent Outta Shape.”
It becomes much of a
blur after that but for the most part I recall many years of great memories following
him and the guys around, listening and watching them play. I loved it! Yes, I
became a groupie, video-taped my son as he grew and developed as a musician.
I have to admit
though as much as I enjoyed it, there was always this worry in the back of my
mind because of what I came to know in my travels about the world of rock and roll.
I might lose my son to drugs or alcohol. I watched a number of his friends and
other musicians who did lose that battle.
Fast forward to Chris
in his mid 30’s and what do I see, my son graduating from university with his
first degree and a gold medal in history. He is now into his second year of
Education and will graduate a teacher in the spring of 2010. And he can still
be seen practicing his guitar everyday.
From my vantage point
my son was on the road to becoming a starving musician for the rest of his
life. Needless to say I was very anxious for him but in retrospect I need not
have been. Thank god he knew what he was doing over those early years.
According to his process not mine, he was finding his true path even if it
seemed like; “the road less traveled.”
Did he reinvent himself; I think not
but rather is following his path in a congruence way with his values and needs.
What Chris’s life
purpose will finally be I cannot know but I have absolutely no doubt now that
based upon being around to observe his journey to this point in time, my
wonderful son who I love will find it in his own good time.
That is the way it
can be, should be for all of us. Is there congruence operating in your
life?
Coach Ladd
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