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SUNRISES AND SUNSETS

Guest post by: James Ladd

Article Overview: Let me start by wishing you all a very Happy New Year. One of my fondest memories of summers at the lake was sitting on the deck at the cottage (preferably screened in) either early in the morning with a hot cup of coffee and a blanket wrapped around me watching the sun come up or late in the evening sitting with a drink and in the old days an occasional cigar, quietly watching the sun go down on another day. It was always at these times I would reflect back over days past and wonder about days to come and where my life would take me and my family.

SUNRISES AND SUNSETS

Let me start by wishing you all a very Happy New Year.

One of my fondest memories of summers at the lake was sitting on the deck at the cottage (preferably screened in) either early in the morning with a hot cup of coffee and a blanket wrapped around me watching the sun come up or late in the evening sitting with a drink and in the old days an occasional cigar, quietly watching the sun go down on another day. It was always at these times I would reflect back over days past and wonder about days to come and where my life would take me and my family.

Sunrises and sunsets, it is remarkable how much we are all drawn to their beauty and even more so to how much we all share similar experiences when we take the time to just sit and stare out contemplating our lives; where we have come from and where we are going.

It has always fascinated me how much the suns rising and setting so conjures up beginnings and endings for all of us. Of all natures’ beauty, it is arguably sunrises and sunsets that we connect with the most.

On many occasions through the years those reflective times have served to help order my life and give me purpose and direction.

Now don’t misunderstand, I am not suggesting that we all go out on our decks wherever we may be this time of the year and sit watching the sun come up or go down. Gosh knows even if we could stand the cold, the sun would only be up in the sky for about 10 minutes this time of the year anyway! How much could you possibly accomplish in 10 minutes of reflection.

No, let’s use the symbolism of sunrises and sunsets and holding the sun, your very life in your hands and think about what we could ‘strategically’ do with our lives in this brand New Year.

Resolutions

Now of course it will not come as news to any of you that most who set New Year’s Resolutions (40 to 45% of North American adults) are not successful in keeping them. Of that number the following shows how many of these resolutions are maintained as time goes on:

• Past the first week-75%
• Past two weeks-71%
• After one month- 64%
• After six months-46%

Traditionally, the Top Ten New Year's Resolutions are:

1. Take some weight off

2. Manage debt/save money

3. Get a better job

4. Spend more time with family

5. Quit Smoking

6. Eat right/get fit

7. Get a better education

8. Reduce stress

9. Going greener

10. Volunteer to help others

If you see any resolutions on this list that just happen to be yours or you have others in mind and are determined this time to make it work, than let’s take a look at how you can beat the odds and accomplish what you set out to do.

First and very important;

“You must understand that sheer will power and determination alone, will seldom carry you to a point of ‘no return,’ to your particular negative behavoiur.”

Secondly, know this; the number one reason why most people are not successful in keeping resolutions is because they do not know themselves well enough nor understand why they behave and operate in the world the way they do.

In other words knowing who you are at a; physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual level, and being aware of what you value, and need (not want) creates the best possible chance of you being successful at making lasting changes to your behaviour.

Actioning New Year’s Resolutions is about behavioural change and behavioural change is about attitudes. Attitudes are engrained over a lifetime and are not easily discarded, changed or modified. In other words just by saying it, will not make it so!

So just “REALLY” how important is it to you to resolve to discard, change or acquire a new behaviour, start or stop doing something associated with an attitude this year? I mean just where is it that your motivation is coming from anyway? If you can answer these questions to your satisfaction, than perhaps you might be willing to examine what it really takes to achieve success with change in the New Year.

Are you really willing to look at who you are, where you are in time and how you got to here, before you go about deciding where you want to go (resolution) and how you are going to get there? If your answer is yes, then remember that winning over your bad behaviours (i.e. eating too much, working too much, smoking, not exercising, procrastinating, neglecting your family, etc.) is about process not outcomes. In other words with a new found heightened awareness of who you are and why you behave the way that you do, you will be in a much better place to strategically set goals, prepare action plans and set out on a journey to new and exciting discoveries about yourself.

As if this isn’t challenging enough, another key to being successful is leading what Scott Peck refers to as a “disciplined life.” That is:



accepting responsibility for your life (owning the problem)

always telling yourself and by extension others the truth (seeing reality)

delaying gratification (i.e. scheduling the pain first in order to enhance the pleasurable feeling later), and

balancing (the flexibility and willingness to work to maintain balance between your emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual self).

Goal Setting

Ultimately, if you are able to come successfully through the hard work of getting to know yourself; physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually you will be ready to complete the last phase or step in the process, that of goal setting.

Just stating however vaguely what it is you want to stop or start doing is not nearly enough (resolutions).

Again everything you do must be approached strategically. In setting goals you stand a much better chance of being successful if they meet the following criteria:

SPECIFIC: Instead of setting a vague goal such as lose weight, set a specific goal, such as; 'I want to lose weight and I plan to do it by swimming 3 times a week and cutting 800 calories a day from my intake.' People who set specific goals are more successful than those who don't. Make sure you write your goals down, and any smaller interim steps within your goal, as this will help you to define them.

MEASURABLE: Instead of 'I want to lose weight,' set a goal like 'I want to lose 15 kg so I can achieve my goal of 85 kg.'

ACHIEVABLE: Do you have the skills and resources needed to complete the goal? If you want to enter an organized cycle ride in the future -- do you have a bike to train for the ride? Can you ride during daylight hours? Is your goal practical? Does it fit in with your lifestyle and your family?

RELEVANT: Is your goal relevant to your bigger picture goals? Does it fit with the long term vision for your life?

TIMELY: Make sure your goal has a deadline -- and that you have set dates for individual steps within your main goal. For example, 'I'll be able to walk to the local shops and back by February.'

Finally, your life should be about a lot more than just managing to set and keep a New Year's Resolution. Your life should be about having a purpose. If you build your life around a purpose there will ultimately be no need for New Year's Resolutions. See bulletin: Living a Purposeful Life (June 26, 2009)

Personal Coaching

Taking a strategic approach to life changes can be a daunting task if you attempt to do it all alone. It can be done if you are patient and manage the process slowly, in a step-by-step fashion. The time of year of course does not really matter. What is needed is that internal or intrinsic motivation that will sustain you through the process. The power of ‘why.’

If you are truly motivated your best chance of success just might be having a personal coach in your corner? In my work as a Life & Business Coach I have been very successful in helping and supporting my clients in doing just what I have written about here throughout the entire year ‘directly and in person.’

The benefits to you of having your own personal coach are significant. It brings focus, enables you to bridge the gasp between where you are now and where you’d like to be, it provides structure, confidence, support, belief, space, encouragement and motivation, and enables you to reach your goals, or accomplish your dreams/ambitions.

Additionally, you will be able to identify your life's purpose or mission, reduce the amount of stress in your life, create more time for yourself and your family, improves your communications, increases your self-confidence and self-esteem, improves your health, well-being and fitness, and brings more balance to your work/home life.

Give coaching a try. Let your first New Year's Resolution be to call me.

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Article Tags: discipline, goals, purpose, resolutions, sunrises and sunsets



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