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James Ladd Articles

Written by: James Ladd

Can Guardian Angels Teach Us Anything? - Click To Read Article
Disclaimer: Believing in guardian angels is by no means a prerequisite to learn about what the whole idea or notion of them can teach us. I have often written and referenced what I call the dimensions of self (intellectual, physical, emotional and spiritual). I have stated that we give greater attention to our intellectual and physical self much more than to our emotional and spiritual self. In fact, the world we live in encourages it. Yet, we should know that all four dimensions of self are of equal importance, and they should all receive, as much as possible, the same weight or amount of attention. This month I would like to focus on the emotional and spiritual dimensions, and yes, I will use guardian angels to help make my point. Let me start by telling you a story.

Think different (Who was Steve Jobs?) - Click To Read Article
Thanks to Steve Jobs we all think differently. Many, many stories have been written about Steve particularly since his death. They have primarily focused on how he influenced our thinking about technology, and about the way and through what vehicles we all communicate. Unquestionably, because of his innovative genius all of our lives are different. However, the question is, whether or not the differences are always entirely good?

STRESS (Is Yours a Life of Quiet Desperation?) - Click To Read Article
If you are old enough to remember but not so old as to forget, there was a time not so long ago we were led to believe that with the advent of new technology, in particular the computer, our lives would be so much simpler, that we would have more leisure time to enjoy a much fuller life. I didn’t get the new memo, what happened? I mean come on; we haven’t gone to a simpler, gentler, more leisure filled life. Just the opposite has occurred; the velocity of our lives has reached breakneck speed!

How Old Would You Be If You Didn't Know How Old You Were? - Click To Read Article
This article is not so much written for the younger crowd let’s say up to about 30 years of age who generally do not often think about “father time.” As life events ‘typically’ unfold they have most of their lives still out in front of them, very little of their lives belongs in the past, therefore they really have not accumulated anywhere close to a “fine cargo of life experiences” nor are they likely to feel any particular sense of urgency around age because they see having all the time in the world. So, that leaves the rest of us to try and answer the question; how old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were? I mean if you didn’t have any idea of your actual age in years, what would guide you to an answer?

THE MERITS OF SCREWING UP - Click To Read Article
Has there ever been a time when you were told you were a screw up? I have this idea that there is another way to look at this thing called life that may or may not be helpful to you. It is that life is comprised of one screw up after another. Yes, you heard me right! Oh, we don’t mean to but one way or another we do and in my case more times than you might imagine, especially earlier in my life. One of the biggest screw ups, if not the biggest I ever made was to spend too much of my time and too many years trying to please others so that they would like and accept me. This one monumental screw up that sat like a dark cloud over my head for so many years was the main reason for a whole series of screw ups that followed over the first thirty-five years of my life. Yes, you heard me right, 35 years!

FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF - Click To Read Article
Abraham Maslow the renowned psychologist and creator of the HIERARCHY OF NEEDS once said that one of the best ways to begin feeling better about yourself was to set meaningful, attainable goals and then see yourself achieving them. He would go on to tell anyone who might be experiencing a low to average level of self-esteem to search out the origions of this negative view of the self and once done begin to set goals which are going to lead ‘away’ from those original aching experiences of life toward a more self-actualized self.

IS ANYBODY LISTENING? - Click To Read Article
I bet there have been times in your life and I am sure there will be times still to come when you feel depreciated, angry or drained. Have you ever wondered why that is? Now you might be inclined to think that it is quite simply that you are tired; worn out from to much work, to little sleep, from eating the wrong foods, driving yourself to hard, trying to do to much, from not living a balanced life. Any of the above may be the case at least some of the time but have you ever stopped to consider that; “it might be because people are not open to your energy!”

SUNRISES AND SUNSETS - Click To Read Article
Let me start by wishing you all a very Happy New Year. One of my fondest memories of summers at the lake was sitting on the deck at the cottage (preferably screened in) either early in the morning with a hot cup of coffee and a blanket wrapped around me watching the sun come up or late in the evening sitting with a drink and in the old days an occasional cigar, quietly watching the sun go down on another day. It was always at these times I would reflect back over days past and wonder about days to come and where my life would take me and my family.

DOES HOPE FLOAT? - Click To Read Article
Charlie Brown, the little neurotic fellow we have all come to know and love is an eternal optimist when it comes to kicking a football. No matter how many times Lucy pulls the ball away he always hopes that the next time she will let him kick it. In a way we are all like Charlie, no matter how often we hope, regardless of the outcome we always come back to it again and again. Because we have come to know that on those rare occasions we realize our hopes. There is another reason though for clinging to our hopes, a much more powerful reason in fact

LIES, EVIL AND NARCISSISM - Click To Read Article
Back in 1983, well known American psychiatrist Scott Peck (1936-2005) published a book that by his own admission; “I have written it with trepidation,” was very difficult for him. That book was titled; People of the Lie. In this book he delves into the essence of human evil. Coming from a Christian perspective his tendency was to look at the subject through rose coloured glasses….somewhat coloured by his religious beliefs, but his writing goes a long way to putting the question of evil into a perspective that we can all understand and relate to, and unfortunately sometimes see and even get caught up in, in everyday life. However the book became particularly disturbing for me when I began to read about a particularly dangerous TYPE of liar.

THE PARADOXICAL WAY WE LIVE - Click To Read Article
How is it that we have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more medical experts but less wellness. We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more but enjoy less. I mean just what is it that we have created here anyway! What have we been thinking or perhaps we haven’t been thinking, at least not enough about what really counts, what really is important in our lives. If the paradoxes we find all around us are an indication of how effective we have become at living happy, fulfilling lives, we are in real trouble.

THINGS YOU MIGHT FIND DIFFICULT - Click To Read Article
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry!” You may or may not be old enough to remember that line from the movie; “LOVE STORY,” which believe it or not came out all the way back in 1970. I suppose the rationale for what was meant here was that love is unconditional and therefore does not require apologies. Combining love with apologizing seemed like a good lead into what I wanted to write about this month. Life presents us with all kinds of challenges and at times there are a number of things all of us find difficult. Two of those in particular that many find difficult are; saying we’re sorry and telling someone we love them!

THE VALUE OF A PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT - Click To Read Article
I am sure that all of you who work in a corporate environment are familiar with your corporate mission statement? It is the one that typically hangs in the front reception area or perhaps on the wall in the boardroom. But do you have a personal mission statement and/or understand in a meaningful way what your purpose for living actually is?

FATHERS & SONS (How the Years Go By) - Click To Read Article
Many of you have children who have just graduated from university or college and/or who are about to graduate from high school this month. Congratulations for all of your perseverance and hard work in getting your kids there! They would not have been able to do it without your support and guidance. This months article is to draw your attention too and remind particularly all of the dads around this; “Fathers Day,” that these are “the moments of our lives.” These are the moments that should be reflective of what we value and cherish most.

GIVING UP ON BEING PERFECT (Letting Go To Become Yourself) - Click To Read Article
A more accurate way of saying; “giving up on being perfect,” would be to say; “what do we have to do before we will accept ourselves?” The picture each of us has about him or herself is a portrait based largely on information provided to us by our social experiences. We are almost constantly adding information from our environment about the effects of our attitudes and behaviour on others and their reactions to us. Such social reactions form the basis for our feelings about other people and help us develop our view of what each of us is like as a person. For many years psychologists have been interested in the role of the self-image in personality development. How much and how well we accept what we see as our “self,” is an important part of our emotional health.

EVERYTHING THATS BEAUTIFUL IS CRACKED THATS HOW THE LIGHT GETS IN - Click To Read Article
Leonard Cohen is credited with the above statement. I believe that he has captured the essence of beauty. Beauty is in the nature of our flaws. It is in our reflective self-awareness and acceptance of our imperfections that we discover our true beauty.

IT'S ABOUT PROCESS NOT OUTCOMES OR WHAT FOOTBALL TAUGHT ME - Click To Read Article
Two of the greatest life lessons I ever learned believe it or not came early in my amateur football coaching career. They were to have a profound effect on my philosophy of life thereafter. So, if you can bear with me and allow my propensity to perhaps over-romanticize my 25 years as a football coach, I promise there is a lesson(s) here. You don't even have to like the sport!

PRICE OF LEADERSHIP - Click To Read Article
We all know that the world is starving for individuals who are prepared to step up and lead us. Men and women who are capable of rising above the mediocrity and narrow mindedness that seems so pervasive in the world, men and women who possess the strength of character, the vision, charisma, passion and energy to take us all to a better place. Much has been written and will be written still about leadership; what it is, where to find it, who can lead, even how to grow it. But you do not often read about or even witness the incredible cost that leaders often have to pay for their willingness to lead.

TRYING TO STAY ALIVE JUST ONE MORE DAY - Click To Read Article
As some know and I do not often talk about it, I have had my own share of challenges over the last several years. In the fall of 2001, after being diagnosed with a lung infection that doctors were not able to eradicate with antibiotics because of an underlying chronic condition, I spent the better part of the next two years, my health slowly deteriorating as I gradually lost lung function. I was told early on that my only hope was a double lung transplant and without it, I would die!

LEAN INTO YOUR DISCOMFORT - Click To Read Article
I must admit that learning to lean into my discomfort has had a very positive effect in my life! It was a process over time but the value of being able and willing to do it, was magnified 10 fold during my two year battle to survive my deteriorating lungs, followed by another two year journey back from the edge of death to good health, after surviving a 13 hour double lung transplant operation. My new lungs came from a 40 year old man who lost his life in a car accident when he was killed by a drunk driver. His incredible gifts saved the lives of four people. I know about discomfort!

STRUGGLING TOWARD A CONSTANCY TO PURPOSE - Click To Read Article
One of the unfortunate realities of our time is the tendency we have of allowing other persons and society define the meaning of success in our lives. In doing so we absolve ourselves from any meaningful internal dialogue and true understanding of who we are and why we were meant to be here or our purpose/mission in life. Those who regularly read my bulletins know that I have some pretty strong opinions about how we all should live our lives. This statement seems contradictory to my opening remarks but stay with me and I will explain. I thought it would be interesting for us to examine how four different generations might view success based upon what we have come to know about them and what they value. Perhaps from this cursory examination we might get some ideas for what truly constitutes SUCCESS?

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE LIVING SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAM - Click To Read Article
Are you working for someone else's dream when you have one of your own? For years I did and didn’t like it. In fact it made me crazy sometimes, I even thought myself a coward for not acting!

A BALANCED LIFE - Click To Read Article
Our lives are at the very least complicated and at times very difficult. The pace and the demands of living make it extremely difficult to keep things in there proper perspective. When that becomes a concern for us it is helpful to think of our lives as being dimensional in nature, affording us an opportunity to create a more strategic approach to maintaining good health. Keeping the four dimensions of self; physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual in balance with the dimensions of life is the one challenge in our lives that we all share in common.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFES PURPOSE - Click To Read Article
You climb out of bed every morning; take a shower, brush your teeth, get dressed, have some coffee, toast or cereal, pat the dog, hug the kids, kiss the wife (husband), not necessarily in that order and head out the door to where and to what? No it is not a destination that I am talking about, it is a PURPOSE. Does your life have one?

BOYS TO MEN - Click To Read Article
When Does a Boy Truly Become a Man? No, I have not gone off the rails, nor am I losing my mind; this is not about “boy bands,” although after all these years I must confess that I really, really liked them. This is just a few of my thoughts on becoming a man. Let me start by saying that I think the question of becoming a man is really a values question. Let me explain.

HAVE WE LOST OUR MORAL COMPASS? - Click To Read Article
Would I be overstating it if I went out on a limb and made the bold assertion that we have lost our moral compass? And as a part of that observation say that we have been holding up the wrong people as our heroes and role models for far too long! And it only seems to be getting worse. As a population in North America we are losing our ability to discern the difference between right and wrong, fair or unfair, just or unjust and be willing to take a stand and declare ourselves.

DO YOU TREAT YOUR EMPLOYEES LIKE PETS? - Click To Read Article
Woof, woof...atta boy, go fetch, bring it here and I will give you a treat! I am sure anyone of you who have or had a dog can remember saying something along those lines to your pet but have you ever said anything along those lines to your employees?

THE ACORN THEORY - Click To Read Article
The Acorn Theory was first postulated in the modern era, at least in the public domain by James Hillman, author and psychologist, in his bestselling book; The Soul’s Code. It is Hillman’s view that one of life’s greatest mysteries is the question of character and ones destiny. In this theory he proposes that our calling is inborn and that it’s our mission in life to realize its imperatives. He has called it the “acorn theory,” the idea that our lives are formed by a particular image, just as the oak’s destiny is contained in the tiny acorn.

THE MASTERY OF HARDSHIPS - Click To Read Article
"Life is Difficult, and when we come to accept that life is difficult, it no longer seems so!" (Scott Peck) It is a bit of a paradox but true happiness, as in intrinsic, in fact is a resulting symptom of a life well spent in solving problems and overcoming hardships.

STRATEGIC MANAGEMENT OF STRESS - Click To Read Article
Many years ago and much earlier in my career I was Manager of the Employee Assistance Program for the Province of Manitoba. Back in those early days I was confronted with a dilemma in assessing the nature of some presenting problems, which in the end was to change my approach and interest in the way I understood stress and the way in which I was to help support persons who were experiencing the symptoms of stress for the next 35 years. When the cause of a stress symptoms jumps up and hits you in the face like a 2-by-4, (i.e. loss of a loved one) you know what you are dealing with and accordingly, can act to address it. But what if it relates to not living your life congruently with what it is you value, and/or not living your life according to your personality type and finally, perhaps not being able to meet your perceived needs?

REINVENTING YOURSELF - Click To Read Article
Recently and again, I had an opportunity to visit with Geoff Currier on The Nighthawk, CJOB’s evening show. Geoff asked me to join him in a discussion of how some people manage to re-invent themselves and he used the example of Frank McCourt the author of Angela’s Ashes to start things off. As a Life & Business Coach my work with clients is all about reinvention but perhaps not in the way you may think.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS (Don't Do It) - Click To Read Article
DON'T DO IT! At least don't do it now. Why do what, for the most part is expected as a part of the New Year's paranoia. What is this obsession anyway with making resolutions as a part of welcoming in the New Year?

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS REVISITED - Click To Read Article
The number one reason, and why most are unsuccessful in keeping their New Year's Resolutions, is because they do not know themselves well enough nor understand why they operate in the world in the way in which they do...so success in either eliminating a negative behaviour or acquiring a positive one is very elusive.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS IN SEPTEMBER - Click To Read Article
Forget about New Years Resolutions in January, they don’t work! You’re wasting your time! September is the best time to set New Year’s Resolutions. Crazy idea, perhaps you disagree? Then answer this question; “why is it that most people who make them and seem quite serious about it, never really follow through and keep them?” A very good question don’t you think. I have addressed this issue before but on both occasions it was in January. Maybe now is a better time to take a different tact and initiate some thought, discussion and/or action around the idea.

MOST OF US REMAIN STRANGERS - Click To Read Article
Leo Buscaglia has been quoted as saying; "Most of us remain strangers to ourselves, hiding who we are, and ask other strangers, hiding who they are, to love us." Unfortunately, there is an incredible amount of truth in this statement. One thing that my life of experiences has taught me is that the likelihood of finding a deep and meaningful love relationship is directly proportional to the amount of time and effort I have spent in getting to truly know and accept myself.

MONEY, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS - Click To Read Article
If at this particular time in your life the accumulation of wealth is high on your priority list and you are spending the better part of your waking hours pursuing the almighty dollar, then perhaps you will be interested in a study that recently came out of the University of London. The University has created the financial equivalent for life's pains and pleasures. It has made some surprising and fascinating finding!

LIFE IS DIFFICULT - Click To Read Article
In Scott Peck’s remarkable book; “The Road Less Traveled,” first published in 1978, he opens with the now famous line; “Life is difficult.” He then goes on to say; “this is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult --- once we truly understand and accept it --- then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

LIVING A PURPOSEFUL LIFE - Click To Read Article
As a personal coach I am surprised and still taken aback by how often I encounter people who regardless of their age, station in life; their position, the power they wield, influence and money they possess, are not in touch with the very essence of who they are and by extension the purpose or meaning of their lives, or to put it more succinctly the very essential reason for their existence.

ITS EXHAUSTING RUNNING FROM THE PAST - Click To Read Article
It is said that we are pretty much formed very early in our lives by our “first family” experiences. The way we are socialized; that is simply, how we are taught to see and behave in the world by our parents in relationship to them, our siblings and the community in general, plays the most significant role in our formation leading into adulthood. Yes, we have to acknowledge genetics to some extent playing a role here, so I will do that. But this is not an argument about one or the other. I want to write here about dealing with our pasts’.

FOR THE WANT OF A NAIL - Click To Read Article
For the want of a nail is a great old rhyme that communicates a very powerful message about how to ensure success in doing what is important to us.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - Click To Read Article
Emotional Intelligence is the number one predictor of professional success and personal excellence! Only part of our success in life can be attributed to intelligence. Other qualities: trust, integrity, authenticity, creativity, honesty, presence and resilience, are at least as important. These 'other intelligences' are collectively described as Emotional Intelligence. Unlike intelligence, the good news is that EQ can be learned or developed; it's not something you are stuck with. We can develop in ways that can improve our relationships, our workplaces, our parenting, and our classrooms. We could turn society on its ear if we learned to recognize our emotions and control our reactions; if we combined our thinking with our feelings; if we learned to channel our flow of feelings into creative expression, an expression of love.

CONGRUENCE AND TENSION - Click To Read Article
Many years ago and much earlier in my career I was Manager of the Employee Assistance Program for the Province of Manitoba. Back in those early days I was confronted with a dilemma in assessing the nature of some presenting problems, which in the end was to change my approach and interest in the way I understood stress and the way in which I was to help support persons who were experiencing the symptoms of stress. "What do you suppose would be the consequences of not living your life according to what it is you value or not being able to fulfill your perceived needs?"

CANADA IS A COUNTRY OF MEDIOCRITY - Click To Read Article
Having been closely watching the American presidential race with a great deal of interest, and have to say being fascinated even enthralled by a number of the speeches, I recalled having read an article in the newspaper last year quoting a study or report that concluded Canada was a “country of mediocrity.” It stated that we are not particularly innovative, creative or willing to step up and take risks to move our society forward and become more of a leader in the world. Just what is really being talked about here?





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