Self Motivation

Self motivation is an essential element of the self-coaching process because it is how you continually keep yourself in the action phase of your process that leads you to your goals. Without the ability to self-motivate the whole process may grind to a halt and you will get stuck. If your ability to self motivate is not one of your strengths, you can train your inner coach to help recognize where you may get stuck so he/she can be ready with helpful tips. The purpose of this chapter is to understand how you motivate yourself, how and where you typically get stuck, how to develop your inner coach so you will gain the skills to notice when you are stuck and help you get going again.

Motivation is what drives us to keep going, it is like the engine on our road trip that keeps us going. Each person has a different set of motivators. What are yours? What inspires you? It is important to understand what motivates you under different circumstances and why so you can understand how and why your ability to act disappears.

You are driven by inner urges but we will also look at external factors that motivate you. For instance, are you motivated to please others? Are you motivated to succeed because of how that would look to others? Does being kind to others motivate you? A good inner coach has the ability to notice where we find inspiration and transform it into action.

We will show you ways to keep your motivation fresh and alive so you can keep the process of self coaching moving forward by developing the skills of your inner coach.

What Drives You? 

Your set of motivators is as unique as your set of strengths and values. Which strengths of yours might be motivators? For example if one of your strengths is kindness, do you notice when you are motivated to act out of kindness whether that is helping someone across the street or giving money to the homeless? You may notice that you feel most satisfied when your motivations are congruent with your strengths, values and beliefs and you act on them. How can you use your strengths to keep you motivated?

Your strengths can inspire you but you are driven by values and beliefs too. Pay attention to what un-motivates you. When your actions are not in alignment with your strengths, values and beliefs, you will feel unsatisfied and are more likely to get stuck. Think of all the times you have done something and felt resentful afterwards. Resentment should tell you that you have done something you really didn’t want to do or it has compromised your values.

Deep Coaching seeks to create a harmony of who you are, what you do and your goals. How you do something is the result of the alignment of your strengths and your values. Motivation is the doing part. Your goal in this chapter is to become more aware of how you feel when you are in harmony and when you are not. At the root of motivation is feeling satisfied. You are more likely to act when you know you will feel satisfied as a result of your actions. So, what is the flavor of your motivation? What can you do effortlessly? Where do you get stuck?

Example:

Being kind, coupled with a sense of fairness motivates you to an act of generosity to someone less fortunate which gives you a sense of satisfaction and what is commonly referred to as  ‘the warm fuzzies’.

External Motivation

How are you motivated by factors outside of your inner values and beliefs? If you existed in a vacuum only your inner motivation would count. There is a constant interaction between your values and beliefs and values and beliefs of those close to us and with society around us. For instance you may feel the urge to cut your front lawn, trim the hedges and paint your house, not just because you want your house to look nice, but because you would like your neighbors and friends to think your house is well-kept and fits the neighborhood. In this case, you are being motivated by external factors.