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The Goldilocks Syndrome
Written by: Bradley FosterArticle Overview: Definition: An extreme sense of entitlement. Expectation of Manna falling from heaven without acknowledgment or gratitude. Named for the ungrateful character in Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Do you have an employee like this?
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The Goldilocks Syndrome
Definition: An extreme sense of entitlement.
Expectation of Manna falling from heaven
without acknowledgment or gratitude. Named for the ungrateful character in
Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
Twenty
years ago, when my three year old daughter christened our tortoise Goldilocks,
I always thought it was a very odd name for a beast with no visible hair on her
gnarly body, blonde or not. Twenty years on, her appellation seems highly appropriate
after all.
I failed to
see that Goldilocks shares her namesake’s sense of entitlement. When the ‘real’
Goldilocks comes upon the cottage in the woods, she helps herself to whatever
she finds. Not content to merely enjoy the amenities, she has the pluck to be
fussy about everything she finds: one bed is too hard, one is too soft. As if everything
exists for her pleasure, she never considers who it belongs to, that she might
be imposing, doesn’t feel remorse after eating their porridge or breaking their
furniture or feel the least bit grateful. Perhaps Goldilocks and the Three Bears can be seen as a way of teaching
children how to be a better guest.
When
Goldilocks (the turtle) is hungry, she rouses herself from the box where she
sleeps and clatters into the kitchen. Especially when she detects cooking
smells, she cranes her neck expectantly. More often than not, a chunk of
curried beef, a raw shrimp (shelled and cut up) or a piece of mango drops in
front of her. She eats (imagine a steam shovel tearing away at a piece of meat
the size of a car), she defecates, and then returns to her box. To me, it feels
like she has an expectation that tasty snacks fall from the sky when she is
hungry…and she’s usually right. Any acknowledgement (apart from emptying her
bowels), appreciation or gratitude is not part of this equation.
I chuckled
at my turtle’s apparent sense of entitlement. I told my friends about her but then
I began to notice that her attitude isn’t that unique. My teenage children appear
when they are hungry, snacks materialize in front of them, they eat, and they
leave, all with a disturbing lack of appreciation or gratitude. Could it be
contagious? Is there something I’m doing wrong?
I have
since dubbed this extreme form of entitlement, the Goldilocks Syndrome. I notice it
at work and in many aspects of my life. I see it in beggars, princes’ and
princesses, in General Motors and in those who expect something for nothing. My teenagers will grow out of it as
they mature and learn that stuff doesn’t just fall from the sky. Like many of
us, they become more grateful and appreciative as they learn how to fend for
themselves. As for Goldilocks, there isn’t much I can do but toss her a chunk
of mango once in a while and hope that food appears when she needs it.
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Article Tags: acknowledgment, characte, compatibility, div, endif, expectation, fareast, footer, gratitude, gte, heaven, manna, mso, orphan, paper source, sense of entitlement, style definitions, style name, times new roman, zoom
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About the Author: Bradley Foster RSS for Bradley's articles - Visit Bradley's website  I offer professional coaching services in the following areas: career/executive/business/leadership/life/writing/relationships and creativity. I help individuals and executives define and get in step with their stated goals and values. I'm an experienced coach, having worked with hundreds of clients over the past five years, coming to coaching from a business background and as a trained therapist. My clients and I work to close the gap between who or what they say they are, or want to be, and who or what they actually are now, as expressed by their actions. I'm also a writer, and communications consultant. I have published dozens of articles in North American newspapers, websites and magazines and for Reuters and Thomson Newspapers over the past twenty years. I published a book on self-coaching with co-author, psychologist and coach, Dr. Stephen Renfrey, called Deep Coaching: A Guide to Self Directed Living. I am currently writing a book on creative life strategies. I write a monthly career column called Ask The Coach in Job Postings magazine. I also write articles and have a blog I update every week. I recently published an article on the boundary between therapy and coaching in Choice Magazine, the premier coaching journal. I am a successful entrepreneur, business development executive, and business and communication consultant before turning to executive and life coaching full-time. I have an MA from The University of Toronto and a Bachelor of Science from the McGill University. I also attended The Ontario College of Art, Columbia University and I have a three year certificate in Leadership and Psychotherapy from the Gestalt Institute of Toronto. I received coach training from the Gestalt Institute and the Coach Training Institute. The breadth of my experience and the training I've done ensures that you'll get insight, clarity and direction from me. Click here to visit Bradley's website   Are you at the top of your Agenda A Timely Time Management System for Creative People Book Review A Master Class in Gremlin Taming The Absolutely Indispensable Next Step for Freeing Yourself from the Monster of the Mind Self Motivation Getting Clarity in Decision Making |
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