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You Have the Right to...Live Guilt Free!

Guest post by: Sheryl Nicholson

Article Overview: Right #7 You Have the Right to...Live Guilt Free! There's a lot of pressure to have it all, and I believe you can't! What we do have today is more choices than our mothers or grandmothers could ever have dreamed of. And that adds to our pressure and our stress and our guilt. We feel guilty going to work and leaving the children. We feel guilty staying at home and not bringing in an income to help lighten the load of our husbands. We feel guilty not being able to volunteer like we think we should. So what's a woman to do? Easy... Look at life as a Buffet Table. You've got just one plate (your life) and many choices on this table. You're allowed to choose anything as long as you understand that there will be a cashier at the end and a price tag attached. If you decide to go to work, is there a price tag attached to that choice?

You Have the Right to...Live Guilt Free!

There's a lot of pressure to have it all, and I believe you can't! What we do have today is more choices than our mothers or grandmothers could ever have dreamed of. And that adds to our pressure and our stress and our guilt.

We feel guilty going to work and leaving the children. We feel guilty staying at home and not bringing in an income to help lighten the load of our husbands. We feel guilty not being able to volunteer like we think we should. So what's a woman to do? Easy...

Look at life as a Buffet Table. You've got just one plate (your life) and many choices on this table. You're allowed to choose anything as long as you understand that there will be a cashier at the end and a price tag attached.

If you decide to go to work, is there a price tag attached to that choice? Absolutely! If you choose to marry, not to marry, to have kids, not to have kids, to diet, not to diet, to clean house, to sleep all day, to exercise weekly...and so on. Every choice has a price tag attached. You can put it on your plate if you're willing to pay the price.

When you address the price tag issue before making a choice, there's little guilt attached to that decision. Real life example? I was speaking at a woman's conference where one of the other speakers was a banker. After she talked about her career path in a pre-dominantly man's world, the floor was opened for questions. In the back I heard, "What was the price you paid for your decision to travel, go to late night meetings, and put your career first? Her answer, "That's easy...my children." The audience gasped. "Well let me explain. I wasn't there when they took their first steps, I didn't teach them to ride a bike or go to their ball games or judo lessons. I was one of the first women in a traditionally male-owned industry. To get ahead, I had to make a lot of personal sacrifices."

The next question came. "What would you change?" Her response, "Another easy question. Nothing!" Now the gasp was louder. Then she added, "My children are grown today. They have new cars and successful lives and often travel with me abroad. Their childhood is a distant memory for them. They seem to enjoy the success I have today."

As I drove home from that conference, my first thought was "What a wicked mother. I could never make that kind of sacrifice and not give my kids a voice." My second thought was "Wow, what a woman ahead of her time." She long ago figured out the fact that every choice has a price. She knew it and was willing to pay the price. She didn't toss and turn at night with her decision. She focused, was committed to her work, and succeeded. How many of us toss and turn at night - "I need to be home...no I need to get a job...no I need to be able to help at home...no I need to bring money in."

It was then that I created my own definition of success. It's not her definition, nor her choices, but I know the price tags attached and I am willing to pay.

Define your success - This is how to eliminate guilt from life. Remember that

You Have the Right to...Live Guilt Free!

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Article Tags: choices, guilt, self esteem, staying at home, stress



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