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Shattering the Rules of Public Speaking

Shattering the Rules of Public Speaking

People ask me all the time to help make them better public speakers. I always hesitate to teach a class or give advice because I’m afraid to expose myself as someone that does it all wrong. The funny thing is this: what I do works. So really, how can something so right, be so wrong?

In speech class, they teach you things like never hold anything larger than a 3 x 5 note card while speaking, and instead of saying “um”, “you know”, or “OK”, pause. For most folks, this kind of information is completely untimely. These are the things that polish someone that already knows how to work a room. If you’re working on becoming comfortable with public speaking, these things will make you more neurotic.

Below are the things I focus on to make each talk a good one.

Make them like you. I’m sure you have some really important outcome for your speech: get them to buy your widget, transfer information, transfer new skills, etc. You will not come anywhere close to your outcome if you can’t build rapport and make them like you. They will buy, learn, perform, etc. if they like you.

Easy to say, but how do you do it?

It’s all about delivery. It’s not what you say, but how you say it. Effective communication is 55% physiology, 37% tone, and 8% content. “Physiology” is a fancy word for body language. The key to being a great speaker is having great physiology and tone. Do you remember transitive properties? Here’s one for you:

If professional = stiff, and stiff = boring, then professional = boring.

The above doesn’t mean you should dress poorly and talk like a trucker. In fact, you should look great!

You need to appear confident and casual. You need to be in charge and approachable.

Enthusiasm is contagious. Be enthusiastic. Get yourself pumped up before you speak. Play your favorite tune. Do a power move. Slap some high fives. Do whatever gets your blood moving.

Change the volume and inflection of your voice. Want a good point of reference, listen to Bill Clinton and Jesse Jackson.

In the end, no one ever leaves an event saying, “That was really professional” or “That was really informative.” They say, “That was really good.” What they mean is: that was enjoyable.

If it’s all about delivery, why do people focus to heavily on the content? STOP IT!

Prepare and practice. Rock stars know their songs. They wrote them. They’ve practiced them for hours. Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora aren’t thinking about hitting the bridge in Wanted Dead or Alive. They’re not thinking about how to stand or when to jump or kick on stage. They’ve done it thousands of times. They’re focused on the audience. They’re in the moment. After all, they’ve seen a million faces and rocked them all.

Apply the same to your public speaking. Spend your time getting to know and internalize the content. KNOW the content. INTERNALIZE the content. DON’T MEMORIZE. Knowing the content will allow you to talk about it in the same way you would talk to someone at your dinner table. It allows you to focus on the people you’re talking to. It allows you to be in the moment. It allows you to communicate.

Practice in front of the mirror. Practice in the shower. Have conversations about the subject matter with friends, family, and coworkers. Pay attention to what questions they ask. Know that others will be wondering the same things.

Memorizing is the key for disaster. Memorizing causes folks to “lose their place” and become alarmed in presenting. Becoming alarmed doesn’t do wonders for your confidence and destroys your physiology and tone. Don’t let the smallest piece of communication (content) sabotage the largest and most important pieces (physiology and tone).

Focus on concepts, themes, and bullet points—like you do when you talk one on one with folks. If you’ve ever memorized a conversation prior to having it and then repeated it word for word, you have real problems.

Going back to the rock star analogy, no one will know or remember if Richie Sambora missed a note in the guitar solo of Keep the Faith. They’ll judge how well he played based on how he moved, the faces he made, how he interacted with the band and how he made THEM FEEL throughout the entire show.

The same is true for you. Make your mistakes. If they’re noticeable, make fun of them and laugh with the group. They’ll remember how it felt.

To PowerPoint or not to PowerPoint, that is the question. If you’re going to use a PowerPoint presentation, DO NOT PUT CONTENT ON THE SLIDE. PowerPoint is best used as a visual aid or point of conversation. Pictures…great. Graphs…OK. Quotes…great. Phrases…good. Multiple bullet points stating exactly what you’re saying…terrible.


Make it fun! People want to be entertained. If you’re funny, be funny! If you’re not, it’s going to be harder for you. You’ll need more preparation. However, don’t be someone you’re not. Be you. If you’re naturally charismatic, you’ll likely be a good speaker. If not, practice. Practice a lot.

Get there early. Greet as many people as you can as they come through the door. Shake their hands. Tell them your name. Learn their names. Share a story. Make nice. This is BIG TIME in establishing rapport early on. It also allows you to talk with people directly during your talk while using their name.

Always remember that the audience has no idea what you were supposed to say. So you missed an important statement, anecdote, or story you wanted to use. SO WHAT! No one knows. Forget it or go back to it. Here’s something crazy—tell the folks you forgot something important you wanted to share and go back to it. You’re human. So are they. Use it as an opportunity to build rapport.

Set the right expectation up front. Tell them who you are, why you’re there and what you do. Don’t go on too long. No matter who you are, you’re really not that impressive. It’s not about you. It’s about them. Ask them why they’re there. What are they looking to get out of attending today? Address them by name. Repeat what they say back to them. “So you’re here to learn about X, Y, and Z.” Give them some sugar. “I’m glad you brought that up. That’s definitely something worth discussing.” Set the proper expectation. If you’re going to talk about that today, tell them. “We’ll definitely talk about that today.” If you’re not, tell them that too and let them know you’ll be available to talk to them after. “Unfortunately, we won’t be touching on that during our talk. However, I’ll hang out after and you and I can talk about that.”

Walk around. Move around the room if possible. It keeps people on their toes and makes folks feel closer to you. Also, if you are using a PowerPoint, it allows you to cheat. If you’re always standing to the side of it, it’s obvious if you turn around to glance at it. Moving around, you can sneak a peak without anyone knowing.

Make people participate. Ask questions. If you met them earlier, use their name. If you don’t know their name, ask them. Then use it! Go out to the people. Hold the microphone so they can talk into it. Tell them you’re glad they’re here.


When you don’t know…say so. People know when you’re feeding them BS. Don’t do it. Tell them they have a good question, you don’t have the answer now, you’ll find out for them and get in touch with the answer.

Is this it? No. You have to start somewhere. If you’re reading this, chances are this is a good start for you.





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