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Guest post by: Peter deLisser Become an Author

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95% of Parents Need to Practice Listening

We are in the midst of an epidemic of broken marriages, violence in schools, increasing verbal abuses, and 95% of us have never taken a skill course in Listening, a basic requirement needed to resolve conflicts and build relationships. Will Rogers Sums It Up

Will Rogers describes the "opportunity" this way. He says, "The trouble with people is not what they know. It's what they know that ain't so." If we say to parents, "You may not be listening to your children", most of them might be insulted because they believe they know how to listen, even though they have never taken a skill course. What else do they know well that they don't study and practice?

Often in a communication workshop we ask people to describe the fundamentals of listening. Most people remain quiet. However, if we ask an average golfer (who doesn't practice or take lessons) to describe the fundamentals of a golf swing, they immediately come up with statements like "Balanced stance, Weight on balls of the feet, Knees slightly bent, etc."

4 Fundamentals Of Listening

Can we imagine how more effective parents might be in every conversation with their children if they used 4 basic fundamentals of listening. Listening is what we say that proves we heard what the other person said.

1 -Make a Self-Revealing Statement

"I'm not sure I understand what you said about your teacher."

2 -Ask a "Real"Question

"When you describe your teacher as irritating, what does she do that irritates you?"

3 -Confirm an Expressed Emotion

"You sound really 'mad' at me."

4 -Clarify a Face or Body Gesture

"From the look on your face, I must have said something confusing."

If a Parent can find a "practice" course on Listening, please pass it on to the other 94% of parents who have never practiced listening. Once Listening becomes an expected skill for parents, we may be able to accelerate our children's ability to learn, reduce "verbal" violence and resolve conflict constructively.

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