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What Communication Habit(s) are you Addicted to?

Guest post by: Peter deLisser

Article Overview: Contrary to physical addiction, most communication habits fortunately can be eliminated by discovering their roots - and by mastering a new communication behavior.

What Communication Habit(s) are you Addicted to?

What! Communication habits can be an addiction! How can we compare real physical and emotional addictions with the struggles some people experience when overcoming communication habits? Based on many years of leadership coaching, the comparison seems accurate. Many business careers and family units have been side-tackled, strayed, or stopped by addictive communication habits. The 2 stories that follow are examples.

Story 1

Two business leaders, from different companies, "held back important information in group meetings." Their faces and bodies gave off strong signals about the discussion, but vocally, their communications said little.

What was their addictive behavior? They both had been told repeatedly by their parents and grandparents, "If you don't have anything good to say, then don't say anything."

Story 2

A leader was referred for coaching because she never praised her subordinates. She was personally an outstanding performer, but her staff's turnover was high and the morale low.

What communication behavior was she addicted to? The message she continually sent to her subordinates was the same as the one she received from her parents: "A's are not good enough. You can always do better." The true turmoil caused in the lives of the subordinates who were hired, fired, or left - may never be known.

What is an addictive communication habit?

An addiction exists whenever people are internally compelled to give energy to things that are not their true desires. The first two leaders' true desires were to contribute their creative ideas and experiences, not to withhold information. The next leader didn't want to hurt her subordinates. Yet she felt that giving them praise would decrease their performance levels.

Communication addictions may oppress our desires, erode our wills and confound our motivations. Contrary to physical addictions, most communication habits fortunately may be easily eliminated by discovering their roots - and mastering a new communication behavior.

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Article Tags: Addiction, behavior, change, Communication, Habit, information, motivation



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