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Guest post by: Dave Kurlan Become an Author

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Our five-year old son, a frequent subject on this Blog, has two girlfriends. This is one area in which he does not take after his dad! While he loves being with both of them, Mary drives him nuts while Sally simply causes him to float on air. He isn't really aware of how each girl impacts his behavior after he being with her, but we sure are! He can be moody after being with Mary while he tends to behave like an angel after spending time with Sally.

I know adults who are affected this way too, the difference being that they usually possess an acute awareness of who makes them feel the way they feel. But what happens when one of your salespeople has a Mary (or a Bob) in his life? His moods can be unpredictable, his self-esteem so low that he bails out at the first sign of resistence, and his ability to focus is inconsistent. He may spend time in his office being unproductive and you will see very inconsistent results at best. You may even be aware of the problem, able to understand the cause and effect of it all, although unable to help.

So what can you do if you have a salesperson whose unhealthy relationship is impacting his performance?

Make the office his safe place, where he can get away from it all. Make it the place where he has the ability to perform in such a way that he can feel good about himself. Encourage him to throw himself into his work. Give him recognition when he earns it. Be the person he can share his problems with. But don't, under any circumstances ignore the situation. Make sure he fully understands the impact of the relationship on his performance and get him to agree to leaving his hurt feelings outside the office door.

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