Death, Taxes and the Jackass
Death, Taxes and the Jackass
Yeesh, I can't think of too many things that scare me more than those two words. And you know why I hate them so much? Because I have absolutely no control over either one of them. They are a fact of life. Well in this issue of Monthly Motivation, I will share with you another fact of life. As long as you aren't dead yet, and regardless of your tax debt, there is something that you DO have control over. You do have control over how much people trust you, care about you, believe you and want to be around you! That's right! Neither the Grim Reaper nor the IRS can affect whether or not people want to be around you. (that includes customers). You have complete control over that. Whew…isn't that a relief?
Let me use an example. I want you to think of the last party or social gathering you attended. I now want you to think of some of the new people that you met at that party. No doubt you met somebody that you liked and somebody that you found to be somewhat of a jackass. What exactly was it that separated the two? What did the "likable" person do differently than the jackass? How did one person make a positive impression and the other perhaps make you feel like you needed another cocktail? How could one person so quickly pull a smile out of you and another send you searching for the bathroom…even though you just "went" six minutes before?
While some might believe that some people just "click" together and others don't, I don't buy it. I believe that we all have a choice about what type of person "at the party" we want to be. Do we want to be likable, or do we want to be the jackass? And what behavior separates the two. Well, here are three tips to being liked by customers, strangers, family members, kids and even jackasses.
Tip #1 -Ask more questions than the jackass
• How do you feel when somebody asks you a question about your family, your job, your hobbies… or if you are a customer, when a salesperson asks what you want instead of telling you what you need?Unlike with death and taxes, you feel in control. When somebody asks you a question and gives you the floor, you like it…and as a result, you like them. Why is that? Because most of us are more interested in telling our story than listening to somebody else's. And when somebody encourages us to tell our story, we like them. That fact is certain as death and taxes. So make a habit of becoming a master questioner, and don't be afraid of giving up control. Customers and non-customers alike will appreciate you more.
Tip #2 - Listen Up!
• If you ask a question, you have to actually listen to what the other person is saying to you. People can tell when you fake it and if they sense it, you are cooked. So look them in the eye, actively listen, and wait until they are done talking. And don't ever interrupt. The quickest way to go from nice guy to jackass is to be an "interrupter."
Tip #3 - Learn
• Make it an objective to learn something today that you didn't know when you rolled out of bed. And the best way to learn is to follow Tips #1 and #2. You see, the jackass is one stupid animal. And why is that? Because his lips are always moving. How can he learn anything when he is doing all the talking? While most salespeople and company leaders believe it is their job to educate and tell customers and employees what they think, it is the top performers that believe more in learning than telling. But it is the "learner" who always ends up educating others more in the end.
Author Lillian Smith said it PRECISELY when she said, "When you stop learning, stop listening, stop looking and asking questions, always new questions, then it is time to die."
So if you want to live longer than the jackass, and if you want more people to like you, follow the above instructions. Just make sure you pay your taxes on time.
Death Taxes and the Jackass - To learn more about this author, visit Brian Sullivan's Website.
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"I owe what?!" were the words I uttered this week when my CPA brother in-law told me what I owed "The Man" by April 17th (tax day this year). Certainly there had to be an error! But sure enough, Uncle Eldon had done his math correctly. "You probably shouldn't have claimed everybody on your PRECISE Selling mailing list as a dependent?" As my dream of a new finished basement, bar, and pool table died with every zero I added to my Commerce Bank check, I was reminded of the old saying …there are two things you can count on…Death and Taxes.
Yeesh, I can't think of too many things that scare me more than those two words. And you know why I hate them so much? Because I have absolutely no control over either one of them. They are a fact of life. Well in this issue of Monthly Motivation, I will share with you another fact of life. As long as you aren't dead yet, and regardless of your tax debt, there is something that you DO have control over. You do have control over how much people trust you, care about you, believe you and want to be around you! That's right! Neither the Grim Reaper nor the IRS can affect whether or not people want to be around you. (that includes customers). You have complete control over that. Whew…isn't that a relief?
Let me use an example. I want you to think of the last party or social gathering you attended. I now want you to think of some of the new people that you met at that party. No doubt you met somebody that you liked and somebody that you found to be somewhat of a jackass. What exactly was it that separated the two? What did the "likable" person do differently than the jackass? How did one person make a positive impression and the other perhaps make you feel like you needed another cocktail? How could one person so quickly pull a smile out of you and another send you searching for the bathroom…even though you just "went" six minutes before?
While some might believe that some people just "click" together and others don't, I don't buy it. I believe that we all have a choice about what type of person "at the party" we want to be. Do we want to be likable, or do we want to be the jackass? And what behavior separates the two. Well, here are three tips to being liked by customers, strangers, family members, kids and even jackasses.
Tip #1 -Ask more questions than the jackass
• How do you feel when somebody asks you a question about your family, your job, your hobbies… or if you are a customer, when a salesperson asks what you want instead of telling you what you need?Unlike with death and taxes, you feel in control. When somebody asks you a question and gives you the floor, you like it…and as a result, you like them. Why is that? Because most of us are more interested in telling our story than listening to somebody else's. And when somebody encourages us to tell our story, we like them. That fact is certain as death and taxes. So make a habit of becoming a master questioner, and don't be afraid of giving up control. Customers and non-customers alike will appreciate you more.
Tip #2 - Listen Up!
• If you ask a question, you have to actually listen to what the other person is saying to you. People can tell when you fake it and if they sense it, you are cooked. So look them in the eye, actively listen, and wait until they are done talking. And don't ever interrupt. The quickest way to go from nice guy to jackass is to be an "interrupter."
Tip #3 - Learn
• Make it an objective to learn something today that you didn't know when you rolled out of bed. And the best way to learn is to follow Tips #1 and #2. You see, the jackass is one stupid animal. And why is that? Because his lips are always moving. How can he learn anything when he is doing all the talking? While most salespeople and company leaders believe it is their job to educate and tell customers and employees what they think, it is the top performers that believe more in learning than telling. But it is the "learner" who always ends up educating others more in the end.
Author Lillian Smith said it PRECISELY when she said, "When you stop learning, stop listening, stop looking and asking questions, always new questions, then it is time to die."
So if you want to live longer than the jackass, and if you want more people to like you, follow the above instructions. Just make sure you pay your taxes on time.
Death Taxes and the Jackass - To learn more about this author, visit Brian Sullivan's Website.
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Dave KurlanDave Kurlan is the founder and CEO of Objective Management Group, Inc., the industry leader in sales assessments and sales force evaluations, and the CEO of David Kurlan & Associates, Inc., a consulting firm specializing in sales force development. Dave has been a top rated speaker at Inc. Magazine's Conference on Growing the Company, the Sales & Marketing Management Conference and the Gazelles Sales & Marketing Summit. He has been featured on radio and TV, including World Business Review with General Norman Schwarzkopf, in Inc. Magazine, Selling Power Magazine, Sales & Marketing Management Magazine and Incentive Magazine. He is the author of Mindless Selling and Baseline Selling – How to Become a Sales Superstar by Using What You Already Know about the Game of Baseball. He created and wrote STAR, a proprietary recruiting process for hiring great salespeople, and he writes Understanding the Sales Force, a popular business Blog and is a contributing author to The Death of 20th Century Selling and 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, Volume 2. - Visit Dave Kurlan's Website |
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