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Guest post by: Brian Sullivan Become an Author

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The grass is greening, the birds are chirping and the smell of springtime love is in the air. (All that’s missing is a little Karen Carpenter in the background.) That “cheesy” spring fever feeling we have in our bones reminds us of the simplest and most timeless business and life formula…Love Equals Success. Love your customers, love your peers, love your competition, love your boss, love your family and friends, and love yourself. Do this in abundance and you will love waking up, love the cold call, love the challenges, love the long quiet drives, love the sales meetings, and love finding new ways to obtain and retain customers.

In short, love people and the “situations” of life will take care of themselves. In sales, the by-product of being the most loving salesperson your clients see is… you sell a TON of products and services. The spinoff off of being a loving sales manager is that your team will do the right thing when you aren’t looking…because they won’t want to disappoint you or the company.

So what exactly is “love?” In Milton Mayeroff's book On Caring, he writes, "love is the selfless promotion of the growth of the other.” So what can you do everyday to selflessly promote the growth of others?

Ask Questions - - Perhaps the first step is to focus on the type of communicator you are. If love is the expression of selfless service, the only way to know how to serve others is by learning what they need. Love creates curiosity, curiosity creates questions, and questions create learning. Take a moment to think of somebody outside of your immediate family who you believe loves you. Now ask yourself, “How does that person talk to me?” Chances are they show their interest and love by trying to understand you. They ask you questions that get you to open up. And the more you open up, the better you feel. In short, loving people allow you to talk. They understand that they learn NOTHING while their own lips are moving and that the only way to serve you is by letting you “have the floor.” But make no mistake, just because the “loving” communicators let you do most of the talking, doesn’t mean they are weak. In fact, the more questions they ask, the more they are able to lead you to come to “their” conclusion.

Listen - Loving people know that it is not enough to be a great questioner but that one also has to be a master listener. Loving people don’t interrupt others, they don’t fake listen and they don’t think of what they are going to say next while the other person is talking. They know it is difficult to effectively serve others unless they listen to the needs of others.

Practice - The best place to practice “listening” is with your #1 customers…your family. Today, approach your spouse, kid, boyfriend, Mom, whoever and ask them this one question, “Am I a good listener?” And when they are telling you, don’t INTERUPT, don’t FAKE listen, and don’t think of your rebuttal. Because once they are done, you are NOT allowed to respond. Because the only objective of this exercise is to train your mind, mouth and ears to learn, rather than teach. Loving people spend more time learning than teaching. But through their example, they end up teaching us more than the “know it all” who has all the answers.

“Love” Cold Calls - To inject a little more love into the world, and as a result a lot more success, you need to make a bunch of love spreading “cold calls.”

• Beginning tomorrow morning, count the number of human interactions you have in that day.
• After each interaction ask yourself this question, “Did that person ‘feel the love’ or will they resume their day quickly forgetting that I was even part of it?”
• After each interaction, grade yourself on a scale of 1-10, one being the Grinch-esque and 10 being Cupid-like.
• Before you turn out the lights, determine the average “love index” of those interactions.

1. If you averaged between 1-5, SNAP OUT OF IT and set the goal to increase your number by a point or two the next day.

2. If you were between 6-8, nice job, but you may still be leaving some points on the board.

3. If you are a love pro and came up with either 9 or 10, congratulations…you achieved Barry White Love status!

So this week, bump up your “Love Index” by questioning more, listening more, smiling more and serving more. And by making love your secret weapon, you better prepare to love the success that will soon follow.

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