Talkin' Trash

The other day I had such an epiphany. After my usual diet of Florida based lack luster customer service and the general aire of rudeness, I was dispatched by my wife to clear the toxic waste from our garage...literally “toxic waste”. All my experimental cans of paint, solvents, finishes, bug eradicators, and non organic plant food needed to be purged from our garage in advance of our impending move. I usually prepare a compelling argument about how there will eventually a mutated strain of bug that only formidable opponent was my “aged” bottle of pest control. Somewhere there was a raw board of wood that would surely benefit from a can of Minwax that had been orphaned since before the millennium. Today was not the day. I had a vision of our moving van spontaneously combusting from my inability to part with my signature blend of fumes. The day was Saturday, one of two days a week the local landfill would check in these “guests”. 

I approached the gate with the usual trepidation. Do I stop, check in, weigh in, pay something? Things weren’t clearly laid out for my general lack of focus. I walked up to the gate attendant who acted more like a maitre’d. She cheerfully and enthusiastically directed me to the proper “drive through”. I was approached by two gentleman who welcomed me and asked me to complete some paperwork while “they” would empty my truck saying, there was “no need for you to lift things and get all dirty”. They divided my treasure according to category, closed my tailgate and said “have a wonderful weekend, thank you for coming by”. Oddly enough there was no “Customer Satisfaction Survey” to be completed and the service was completely free. Still in shock I rolled into the nearest Mickey “D’s” to partake in a cup of coffee, their latest product offering targeting their competitors. Not bad. I was oblivious to the service I received as I remained immersed in the memory of the “landfill’. But just like being awakened from a precious dream I was shocked into reality by none other than the “talking trash can” who thanked me for cleaning up after myself. I knew that any subsequent contact I would have that day would pale in comparison to my “trash talk”. It’s a sad commentary about the way businesses are being run today. Added bonus, no added “fees”. Is this a great country or what?