Life Coaching Skills - Who Do You Work For?
Life Coaching Skills - Who Do You Work For?
Here’s an example of mistakes I have made…
I remember a time not so long ago when I got a phone call from a client that I had coached for a while, a few months before. The coaching had gone very well and had finished a few months earlier. She called me again to enquire about another service that I offer. At the time I was quiet on the work front and I was keen to work with her again. So my thoughts went immediately to the idea of earning fees from her. Mistake number one. I was focussed on my outcome, not hers.
Allowing this thought changed the way I spoke to her that day. And therefore, even if she didn’t seem to notice, it changed her experience of me. It was not going to be the outcome I wanted…
As the conversation went on, she didn’t notice my incongruence immediately. She was telling me about herself since we had last worked together, where she was at now and how she was feeling. In my mind I was deciding what was going to be the best for her, what we should do. While I was listening to her, I was thinking about a new area of NLP I had been learning and experimenting with, and wondering if it would be suitable for this client. Can you spot my mistake? I wasn’t giving her my full attention! Worse, I was deciding already what to do, based on what I wanted to do!
As she was finishing up telling me where she was in herself at that point in time, she told me what she wanted to do with me. And it wasn’t what I was thinking about. I was jarred. I had a mismatch with her. And when I spoke, my mismatch was apparent in what I said and how I said it. I said, “so you want to do that, do you? That’s great, I’d be happy to…” in a tone of voice that exposed my mismatch, and she heard it, loud and clear.
The rest is predictable. She made some excuses about seeing when she would be free and calling me back, and closed off the conversation, politely, but quickly. Needless to say, she did not call back. A client engagement lost. An opportunity to help someone gone. That wasn’t what I was trying to achieve!
Focus on their Outcomes
Whenever the phone rings and it’s a prospective client, think “what can I do for this person?” I will listen to their needs and respond to what they are telling me they want.”
If you go to business networking meetings, don’t wonder what the person who is talking has to offer you, or what they can do to help you to develop your business, ask yourself what you can do to help them to develop their business. Who do you know that you can connect them to? What experiences have you had that would help them?
When you focus on other people, their needs and wants, their desired outcomes, you connect to them, and to a higher purpose. When you are connected to the right intent, the right things happen, for your clients, and for you!
Life Coaching Skills Who Do You Work For - To learn more about this author, visit Robert Neely's Website.
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The reason for this is simple. The source of your income is not your marketing, your sales skills, your skills and capability. The source of your income is the people you help. If you think of those people in terms that are not helpful for them, if you think of your prospective client as an opportunity, a pay check, a way to develop your CV, you are not focussed on them and their needs. And the second you disconnect from them and their needs, you disconnect from that person. At whatever level that happens they will detect that disconnection and be affected by it in some way. The effect may be as much as withdrawing from you and closing down the conversation immediately, or as little (if you are lucky), as checking with you and giving you the chance to get back with them. Either way it’s your responsibility from now on to stay connected to them (if you still can) or your next client or prospective client.
Here’s an example of mistakes I have made…
I remember a time not so long ago when I got a phone call from a client that I had coached for a while, a few months before. The coaching had gone very well and had finished a few months earlier. She called me again to enquire about another service that I offer. At the time I was quiet on the work front and I was keen to work with her again. So my thoughts went immediately to the idea of earning fees from her. Mistake number one. I was focussed on my outcome, not hers.
Allowing this thought changed the way I spoke to her that day. And therefore, even if she didn’t seem to notice, it changed her experience of me. It was not going to be the outcome I wanted…
As the conversation went on, she didn’t notice my incongruence immediately. She was telling me about herself since we had last worked together, where she was at now and how she was feeling. In my mind I was deciding what was going to be the best for her, what we should do. While I was listening to her, I was thinking about a new area of NLP I had been learning and experimenting with, and wondering if it would be suitable for this client. Can you spot my mistake? I wasn’t giving her my full attention! Worse, I was deciding already what to do, based on what I wanted to do!
As she was finishing up telling me where she was in herself at that point in time, she told me what she wanted to do with me. And it wasn’t what I was thinking about. I was jarred. I had a mismatch with her. And when I spoke, my mismatch was apparent in what I said and how I said it. I said, “so you want to do that, do you? That’s great, I’d be happy to…” in a tone of voice that exposed my mismatch, and she heard it, loud and clear.
The rest is predictable. She made some excuses about seeing when she would be free and calling me back, and closed off the conversation, politely, but quickly. Needless to say, she did not call back. A client engagement lost. An opportunity to help someone gone. That wasn’t what I was trying to achieve!
Focus on their Outcomes
Whenever the phone rings and it’s a prospective client, think “what can I do for this person?” I will listen to their needs and respond to what they are telling me they want.”
If you go to business networking meetings, don’t wonder what the person who is talking has to offer you, or what they can do to help you to develop your business, ask yourself what you can do to help them to develop their business. Who do you know that you can connect them to? What experiences have you had that would help them?
When you focus on other people, their needs and wants, their desired outcomes, you connect to them, and to a higher purpose. When you are connected to the right intent, the right things happen, for your clients, and for you!
Life Coaching Skills Who Do You Work For - To learn more about this author, visit Robert Neely's Website.
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Cheryl MatthynssensCheryl is a life skills coach, licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor and a 20 year entrepreneur. Cheryl's dedication to achieving a life of balance led to her expanding her teaching from the simple managing of life's daily challenges to adding financial well being as well. A direct marketer with DrinkACT, she is gaining ground in the online community with her concepts of making sure business owners, entreprenuers and employees have well rounded life styles. She opened up a small affiliate site - The Balance Guide- to help others find resources for mental and emotional well being. Visit Cheryl's blog to see more of the diversity beyond business she has began offering online at www.thebalanceguide.blogspot.com - Visit Cheryl Matthynssens's Website |
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Casey GollanCasey Gollan, Business Coaching & Mentoring Programs. Add $1 Million to $10 Million in the next 1 to 3 years. Since 1996 Casey has to added hundreds of millions of dollars to businesses. Watch a free video see client results Business Coaching website. - Visit Casey Gollan's Website |
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John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
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David AchesonDavid Acheson is the founder of DCJA Consultancy. DCJA Consultancy is a management consultancy business specialising in B2B sales consultancy. They offer bespoke and packaged sales consultancy including Sales Optimisation Review, Interim Sales Management, Sales & Marketing Review, 1:1 Sales & Management Staff Analysis, Management Training, Solution Sales Training, Creation of New Pay Plan, KPI's, run Customer Feedback Campaigns, assist with Recruitment, Coaching, Appraisals and set up Strategic Marketing Campaigns. David spent his early career in accountancy and then moved into sales in 1982, working in Office Equipment, IT, Advertising, Training, Outsourcing and Consultancy. He has held many Senior Positions in SMBs and Global Organisations including Head of Sales Operations & Head of Business Development. His knowledge, skills and great experience of the Sales Industry has led to David making keynote speeches and running educational sessions to key businesses through organisations including The Chamber of Commerce and Business Link. - Visit David Acheson's Website |
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Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
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Leanne Hoagland-SmithAre your sales where you want them to be? Will you be one of the few who achieves sales or business success or one of the many who have failed to change? Are you tired of being told you are like everyone else? Then you may find my first book on sales of interest. Be the Red Jacket in the Sea of Gray Suits, The Keys to Unlocking Sales available at Amazon or at http://www.processspecialist.com/red-jacket.htm. This book is a reflection of my no-nonsense approach to improving sales to overall business results. If you are truly committed to making sustainable changes, then I can help you secure a positive return on your investment because I focus on executable solutions not telling you the problems you already know you have. From training to corporate (group) coaching to executive one on one coaching, my approach is to assess, create awareness, build a goal driven action plan and then execute. The bottom line question is "Not do you or your employees know it, but do you or they want to do it?" Please call for a free strategy session at 219.759.5601. - Visit Leanne Hoagland-Smith's Website |
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John AlexanderJohn has taught keyword research and SEO skills to small groups of business owners and Webmasters from over 80 different countries world wide since 2002. John is also the Director of Search Engine Academy ; Co-director of Training at Search Engine Workshops offering live, SEO Workshops with his partner SEO educator Robin Nobles, author of the very first comprehensive online search engine marketing courses at SEO Training Online and the SEO Workshop Resource Center. I look forward to hearing from you! - Visit John Alexander's Website |
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Anne BarrAnne Barr has over 26 years experience in sales and marketing, six years as a franchisee. She has assisted over 367 business owners and purchasers to achieve their goals in career change, transition and exit strategy. She holds the designation of Certified Franchise Executive from the International Franchise Association, Certified Business Intermediary from the International Business Brokers Association and Board Certified Broker from the Texas Association of Business Brokers. Anne is active in professional organizations, networking groups and volunteers for non-profit entities. As owner/operator of four successful businesses, Anne has proven people skills and enjoys helping clients find the right "fit" in business ownership. Visit www.FranchiseOpportunitySpecialist.com for more information about me and my company. - Visit Anne Barr's Website |
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