Defensiveness takes many forms, though all defensive responses are rooted in the biological "fight or flight" reaction. Here are some examples of defensive statements you might hear when confronting your sales rep;
Blaming you
"You didn't tell me I was supposed to."
"I asked you to help but you didn't"
Blaming others
"Product was bad/late/wrong"
"People in XYZ department were bad/late/wrong"
Poor Me
"I've been sick, on holiday, got married, got divorced, housing problems, car problems, money problems"
"I've worked more hours than anyone else: it's not fair"
Denial
"Those figures do not include my best months"
"The methodology of the assessment is flawed"
Minimizing
"You're making a mountain out of a molehill"
"Lighten up! Everything's fine, really."
Manipulation/lying
"I was only trying to help. You told me I am supposed to look for ways to help "
"Everyone does it. I thought you knew".
You can minimize the damage defensiveness causes and engage your employee in a rational discussion by employing the following techniques. First, listen with empathy.
"I understand how that feels".
"I understand how you might have thought that/done that".
Relate a similar experience of your own. Relate to the feelings, not the facts
"I once let down a very good friend who needed me in a time of personal crisis. I felt guilty and afraid that he would not forgive me"
Then repeat your feedback without accepting explanations as excuses.
"I understand how you feel and how you got there. At the same time, it is important that I make it very clear that your performance in this area is not acceptable."
"Perhaps you are right that I am a terrible manager. And we can have that discussion - tomorrow. Today the subject is your performance".
Repeat the sequence: Feedback - Listen - Feedback - Listen, until the defensiveness is reduced and your rep can once again engage in a rational discussion.
Managing Sales Reps' Defensiveness - To learn more about this author, visit John Brennan's Website.
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John Brennan
(Visit John's Website)
John Brennan Ed.D.
Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal
Development, LLC, a training and
development firm. Interpersonal
Development has provided sales training
and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps
from over 100 companies.
A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan
received his doctorate from the University
of Rochester. His dissertation researched
the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling
Technology in training people in
interpersonal skills. While he has spent
most of his career designing or delivering
training, he was also a Vice-President of
Sales of a training and development
franchise with operations in 25 markets.
Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered
sales training in North America, Asia,
Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He
has been a guest speaker at numerous
national and regional professional
conferences.
When Microsoft wanted Best Practices
articles on sales for their web site, they
called Dr. Brennan. The results are at office.microsoft.com/e
n-us/FX011387391033.aspx
His firm’s clients have included Volvo,
The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman
Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the
Economist Group and countless small
businesses.
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