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Three Phrases That Make or Break Your Sales (And Your Success)

Written by: Laura Posey

Article Overview: One of the things I’ve noticed about salespeople is that they are sometimes surprised by the actions of their clients and prospects. They quite often feel fooled or misled and become disillusioned and disappointed when prospects don’t behave the way they expect them to. Not only are they surprised by the actions of others, they often are surprised or confused by their own behaviors as well. They set goals and become determined to achieve them, yet time and again fail to hit the targets they’ve set. How many of us have looked back on a month, a quarter or a year and wondered why we didn’t accomplish everything we wanted? The answer lies in our language.

Three Phrases That Make or Break Your Sales (And Your Success)

One of the things I’ve noticed about salespeople is that they are sometimes surprised by the actions of their clients and prospects. They quite often feel fooled or misled and become disillusioned and disappointed when prospects don’t behave the way they expect them to.

Not only are they surprised by the actions of others, they often are surprised or confused by their own behaviors as well. They set goals and become determined to achieve them, yet time and again fail to hit the targets they’ve set. How many of us have looked back on a month, a quarter or a year and wondered why we didn’t accomplish everything we wanted? The answer lies in our language.

As a student of human nature, and of salespeople in particular, I spend lots of time watching behavior and listening closely to what others say. What I’ve discovered is that there really is a direct correlation between what people say out loud and how they behave. If you learn to listen carefully to others (and to yourself) you can uncover people’s true intentions and set your expectations of their behavior so that you are not surprised or disappointed.

There are three key phrases to listen for when attempting to predict someone’s behavior; “I want to”, “I have to” and “I should.” Let’s look at each of these a little closer.

When someone says “I want to” do something you can pretty well count on that thing being accomplished. We are all driven by our desires and are very capable of manipulating circumstances to get the things we really want. Think of the last time you bought a new car. Did you really need it? Was your old one so hopelessly worn out and unusable that you couldn’t repair it? Or did you simply want a new one? Did you see an advertisement or did your neighbor get a new car and you simply got the “I want” bug? Did you really have the money for a new car? I used to sell cars and I can’t tell you how quickly and easily people can rationalize any amount of money for a new car. They’ll give up many other luxuries in their lives in order to get that shiny new Lexus, whether they need it or not.

Our prospects are no different. When they really want something, especially something that will enhance their prestige or standing to others, they’ll do and pay whatever they must to get it. When you hear your prospects say “I want” they are sold. Get out your order forms. Likewise, when you say “I want” to achieve something, you’ll get it done. Frame your goals in your mind as “I wants” and you’re well on your way to achieving them.

“I have to” is another phrase that means you’re well on your way to a sale or a personal accomplishment. When we “have” to do something it means our backs are up against the wall, we are in a position that if we don’t do it, we’ll have to face dire consequences. For example, you may not want to pick your kids up from daycare, but you “have to.” They may be brats or it may not be convenient for you, but because leaving them there would cause such dire consequences, you do it anyway. When you hear “I have to” from your prospect, he no longer has a choice in the purchase process. If you have what he needs, he is now your client.

“I should” is a really dangerous phrase for salespeople. We hear it every day from our prospects and if we aren’t paying attention we mishear it as “I will.” “I should” means this is probably a good idea, but it’s really not important enough for me to do anything about it. When you hear this treacherous phrase, don’t start counting your commissions. Unless you can move the prospect to an “I want to” or “I have to” position, there is no close in sight.

One of the main reasons we, as salespeople, don’t hit our goals is that they are made mostly of “I shoulds.” Our goals seem like good ideas when we are setting them, but because they aren’t compelling enough, we never make the commitment and discipline ourselves enough to achieve them.

Spend the next month listening closely to yourself and your prospects and set your expectations accordingly. You’ll be amazed at the things you hear, and more importantly, at the behaviors you observe.

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