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Does The Opposite Sex Drive You Crazy?

Written by: Will Turner

Article Overview: In sales, you can't communicate the same to men and women. Learn how to adapt your style to better connect to the opposite gender.

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Does The Opposite Sex Drive You Crazy?

Effective communication is impacted by gender differences. It’s important to understand that men and women often exhibit different conversational styles. Both styles are equally valid. The goal is to understand the differences, so that you can adapt and communicate more effectively.

According to Deborah Tannen, author of Talking From 9 To 5: How Women’s and Men’s Conversational Styles Affect Who Gets Heard, men use communication to maintain independence while women use communication to maintain intimacy. Men often speak to establish status or hierarchy within a group, while women speak to connect, express feelings, and build rapport. Tannen labels these styles. Men, in their focus on facts and figures, communicate in report-talk. Women, on the other hand, focus on rapport-talk.

So what does this mean to you in a sales relationship? Simply that if you’re dealing with someone of the opposite sex, you may have different communication styles. To be more effective, adapt your style or simply be more open to the style of the other person. Adjust your approach to better engage the other person. Make sure your conversational style fits the setting. As always, listen carefully and clarify. Don’t assume that you understand or are understood without appropriate probing.

Specifically, if you fit the model described by Tannen (and not all individuals will), if you’re a female salesperson calling on a male prospect:
• Don’t force a man to talk if he’s not ready. Focus your talk on goal-oriented activities, tangible accomplishments or problem-solving.
• Observe and listen, rather than process out loud.
• Be careful to not offer help before it is asked for, doing so may indicate that you don’t have trust in his ability.
• Be more focused on the bottom-line, be succinct.

If you’re a male salesperson calling on a female prospect:
• Ask what you can do to help. It’s a way you can show support.
• Understand that women may process out loud as a way of including others and building relationships.
• Be patient with the stories of your prospect, even when you are anxious to get to the bottom-line. Don’t short-change the opportunity to get to know your prospect.

As with any communication exchange, if you focus on listening and following the signals of the other person, you’ll do fine.

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About the Author: Will Turner
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As President of Dancing Elephants Achievement Group, Will feels he has the best job in the galaxy. He loves working with salespeople and entrepreneurs to "unblock" themselves and "unlock" their potential. Will is the first to admit that he was a reluctant salesperson for many years. He thought most salespeople had to be pushy, and he just wasn't comfortable in that role. He later discovered that you don't have to act like a typical salesperson to be a great salesperson so he created a company to teach others what he had learned. Will transitioned a twenty year career in sales and sales management into his current position as President of Dancing Elephants. In addition to facilitating and presenting, Will is the author of Impact!, the company's monthly e-newsletter on sales performance. He is also the co-creator of the Sales Magnetism program and the co-author of Six Secrets of Sales Magnets.

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