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Don't Be A Stella

Written by: Will Turner

Article Overview: By not pointing blame or playing victim, you will realize more success.

Don't Be A Stella

In 1992, a 79 year old woman named Stella Liebeck spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds for not properly warning her that the coffee was hot. She was awarded $2.9 million from a New Mexico jury. In a more recent coffee catastrophe, Merv Grazinski, from Oklahoma City sued Winnebago. Mr. Grazinski was driving home on the interstate when he put his new motor home on cruise control, left the steering wheel and went back in his new vehicle to fix a cup of coffee. He was awarded $1.75 million and a new motor home after his vehicle ran off the road and wrecked. He claimed that Winnebago should have warned him not to leave the steering wheel unattended while driving.

Besides the coffee connection, these two cases point out a serious flaw we face in our society today. It’s the victim mentality that’s rampant and is played out in our legal system daily. To see more ridiculous lawsuits you can go to www.StellaAwards.com.

In their book, The Oz Principle, authors Connors, Smith and Hickman state “Ironically, at a time in world history of unprecedented opportunity, several recent national surveys reveal a growing number of Americans perceive themselves as victims who should be compensated for their misery. Rising insurance rates, insurance company failures, high attorney’s fees and overburdened judicial caseloads, coupled with record number of law school graduates and escalating punitive damage awards – all have conspired to create a litigious society that thrives on assigning blame.” Is it any wonder that 70% of the world’s lawyers live in the United States?

But what’s the real problem here? And how does it relate to you? You wouldn’t make a ridiculous lawsuit, would you? Granted, the above examples represent extreme cases. The underlying problem, however, is not so extreme.

The real problem is that people don’t accept individual responsibility and most organizations don’t accept responsibility either. Our culture has made it acceptable to play the ‘Blame Game.’ Do you ever play? Do you ever have a goal or task that isn’t completed on time? Do you ever make up excuses to a client that your delivery will be a day late? Are you ever late to a meeting with a prospect and you blame the traffic or that last phone call you got as you were walking out the door?

You can easily rationalize to yourself and others, “no harm, no foul.” In other words, does it really matter that I said I would get back with you by the end of the week, and now I’m calling on Monday morning. In the big scheme of things, does it really matter?

In sales, we understand that it’s all about the relationship. Relationships are based on trust and credibility. By playing the ‘Blame Game,’ you chip away at your credibility and consequently your relationship. Sure, it’s easy to rationalize and make excuses. “My clients just come to expect that I’ll be about five minutes late,” recounted Claire. She thought that if she did a great job for her clients, a few minutes really didn’t matter.

When you think about it, most people play the ‘Blame Game’ pretty well. It’s all those excuses that you hear every day, whether they’re coming from you or others.

Are you reaching your sales goals? If you’re not, what’s your excuse? Or should I say excuses? Too much competition, no company training, the economy, not enough hours in the day or something else. When you stop and listen to people talk about why they don’t get everything done that they want to; you’re left with a bunch of excuses. Of course, they don’t call them excuses. They are explanations. And most people do lots of explaining.

Excuses are simply a way that people rationalize and justify why they don’t get everything done. Excuses are a way for us to blame other people or circumstances for our shortcomings. And unfortunately, our society has become one where playing victim is accepted and even embraced.

There is only one way to stop playing the ‘Blame Game.’ That is to take 100% responsibility for everything in your life. That means, when you catch yourself, saying “I didn’t…” or “I couldn’t…” or “I haven’t…” that you don’t complete the rest of the sentence by pointing your finger.

Time is often one of the biggest excuses. “I didn’t have time. Something else got in the way,” is a common excuse played out every day. If you ever use the time excuse, you need to answer the question, “Who controls your time?” The reality is you make hundreds of choices every day on what we are going to do. In fact, you are where you are today because of the choices you have made up to this point in your life. If you want to get somewhere else, you have to make different choices. You have to use your time differently.

If you choose to take 100% responsibility, your life and your career will change. You certainly won’t have fewer issues and obstacles to overcome. But you will understand that it’s up to you to overcome them without resorting to excuses. Stella and Merv would never succeed in sales with their victim mentality. Don’t be a Stella.

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