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Don't Fake An Orgasm
Written by: Will TurnerArticle Overview: In Consultative Sales Approaches, we're taught to say and do things that can backfire on our success. Learn how to be authentic and watch your sales grow.
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Don't Fake An Orgasm
When you think of the movie, When Harry Met Sally, what’s the scene that immediately comes to mind? You got it. It’s the scene in the diner when Meg Ryan simulates faking an orgasm with her loud and convincing moans, as Billy Crystal and other patrons look on in disbelief. There’s an equivalent to “faking an orgasm” in the world of sales. Are you guilty?
Today, the most commonly used sales approach is consultative selling. It goes by many names, but the practices are largely the same. One of the tenets of consultative selling is to “show empathy” with your prospects. A typical application would be to say “I understand where you’re coming from” in response to something your prospect says. This is commonly done when the prospect voices a concern or objection.
Nine out of ten times, the salesperson will continue his response of “I understand…” with a “but” or he will say something later in the conversation that clearly demonstrates that he did not “understand” at all. It was just a ploy to cozy up to the prospect.
The problem with faking empathy is the same problem with faking an orgasm, it seems to work in the moment but no one gets satisfied in the end. In fact, you will damage the relationship in the long-run by your deceitful ways. And when the other party finds out you have been faking it, and eventually he will, you will lose his trust.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that there is anything wrong with empathy. Genuine empathy is an essential trait of a great salesperson. You should have it. At the same time, you want to have the right amount of empathy, not too much or too little. So how do you know how much is enough?
While it is hard to measure on your own, you can get a sense of whether you have the right amount of empathy by how your interactions with prospects and clients typically develop. Are your opinions and recommendations sought out? Are you treated like a trusted advisor? Or do you find that you’re not getting the opportunities that you think you deserve?
Your empathy should be in balance with another important characteristic, self-regard. If the two traits are out of sync, it can lead to problems interacting with others. High levels of empathy and low self-regard leads to being overlooked and undervalued. While low empathy and high self-regard can lead to a pushy, know-it-all persona that turns others off. When you have a healthy balance of empathy and self-regard, you attract others and are viewed as a confident but caring individual who gives balanced and appropriate counsel.
You appear authentic and genuine because you are. You don’t have to fake anything, which means you don’t have to be a fake.
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About the Author: Will Turner RSS for Will's articles - Visit Will's website As President of Dancing Elephants Achievement Group, Will feels he has the best job in the galaxy. He loves working with salespeople and entrepreneurs to "unblock" themselves and "unlock" their potential. Will is the first to admit that he was a reluctant salesperson for many years. He thought most salespeople had to be pushy, and he just wasn't comfortable in that role. He later discovered that you don't have to act like a typical salesperson to be a great salesperson so he created a company to teach others what he had learned. Will transitioned a twenty year career in sales and sales management into his current position as President of Dancing Elephants. In addition to facilitating and presenting, Will is the author of Impact!, the company's monthly e-newsletter on sales performance. He is also the co-creator of the Sales Magnetism program and the co-author of Six Secrets of Sales Magnets. Click here to visit Will's website Are You Confident Or Cocky Interview With A 1 Salesperson Pay Attention To Your Top Ten An Octopus On Roller Skates Make Training Stick |
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