It’s something that most of us do every day. You’ve undoubtedly done it thousands of times, yet it’s unlikely that anyone has ever told you if you are doing it right or wrong. It’s the quintessential American business greeting, the handshake.
According to Robert Brown, a handshake expert, there are 12 different handshake types. Most of them send negative signals to the other person. What does yours say about you? And what can you instantly learn about the person you are meeting that they won’t tell you?
While the three-second business ritual of shaking hands may seem like a social nicety, it can provide you with a mini psychological profile on the person you are meeting. By understanding the subtleties of someone’s body language through his handshake, you can determine if he is sincere or insincere, honest or deceitful, dominant or submissive.
Let’s review some of the more common handshake practices and interpret the signals they emit.
The Lingerer – This handshake is firm with a welcoming grasp, but there is a pause at the end. This lingering quality can express openness and sincerity. Or it may indicate that the other person is up to no good. Since the meaning can be one extreme or the other, you’ll have to trust your gut on this one. Pay close attention to the person’s other body language to discern his true motives.
The Politician – This handshake is also known as the two-hander. During the handshake, the other person shakes with his right hand while his left hand grasps your hand, wrist, arm or shoulder. Watch out! He is trying to establish quick intimacy and familiarity which has not been earned yet. Leave this approach to the used car salespeople.
The Topper and the Twister – Both of these handshakes express a desire for control and power. With the Topper, the dominant party is shaking with their palm face down over the other person’s hand. With the Twister, the other person grabs your hand normally, but then turns your hand at the end so his hand is positioned on top. Beware, this person can be particularly deceitful and will be looking out for his best interests over yours.
The Dead Fish – We’ve all been on the receiving end of these limp rag shakes. It lacks energy and leaves you feeling like you just shook hands with a dead fish – yuck! While the deliverer of this handshake may have good technical skills, they are usually too passive or apathetic to engage well with others.
The Bone Crusher – Ouch! Most Bone Crushers think that they need to be forceful and strong. They are trying too hard and overcompensating with their grasp. This macho handshake often masks some underlying insecurities.
So with the proliferation of bad handshakes, what should you do if you want to start out the relationship with a positive first impression? It’s called the All-American handshake. You should engage the other person’s full hand, wrapping your fingers around the other person’s hand. Your palms should be flat and in full contact with each other. In addition, your hand should be positioned straight up and down as you grip. Look the other person directly in the eye and smile as you pump your hand two or three times.
This warm, welcoming grip sends a message of relaxed self-confidence. It’s friendly, inviting and sincere. It also shows that you are an open and trustworthy “people person” with no hidden agendas or motives. In other words, you are starting the relationship on equal footing and demonstrating that you can become a trusted advisor.
To learn more about this author, visit Will Turner's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
 |
Related Articles |
|
 SMEs and South African banks
|
| |
South African banks are permanently between a rock and a hard place in the context of SME's.
|
|
The Power of Thank You Notes
|
| |
At one time it was common practice to send hand written thank you notes for almost everything. It was simply considered good manners. Sadly this has died out over the years, to the point where it is relatively rare ...
|
|
Sales Success Tip-How to Increase Your Referrals
|
| |
Put something small, perhaps a coin or other small object in your hand. Now, hold onto it as tight as you can. What do you notice? The fact is that if anyone wanted to give you something, you would be in no posit...
|
|
Handshake Protocol
|
| |
When you encounter a business associate, it is customary to offer your hand in greeting. In fact, the amount of rapport you achieve through three hours of interaction with a stranger is automatically created by the...
|
|
A Most Telling Sign
|
| |
Body language is a hot topic these days with everyone wondering what a prospect means by every little gesture he makes. Yet many people turn off prospects with one little gesture in the first 30 seconds of the meeti...
|
|
|
|
