---

Guest post by: Sam Manfer Become an Author

Tweet

---

---

Most people approach a prospect or a customer in their usual style/manner and expect that person to like them or at least effectively interact with them. This works if their style gels with the other person's style. But if it doesn't, it sets up a barrier to trust and believability. The higher the rank of a person the more style impacts initial credibility and subsequent dialogues. Style seriously effects comfortable level. As a result the other person unconsciously decides to pay attention and take the conversation seriously or vacate mentally.

Top and c-level executives meetings are too important to risk that sometimes you'll click and other times you won't. Therefore, it's best to be conscious of your style and adjust it to the other individual's as quickly as possible. That's why it is very important to learn ahead of time, through your coaches, the other person's style.

If you don't adjust, you'll get-on with those like you, but struggle with the others. This will limit your success tremendously. However, when your chemistry matches everyone's, you'll go farther, faster and easier.

Preparing Yourself

1. Pick someone you know professionally. Analyze your conversations and the circumstances against these 4 criteria.

a. Does s/he speak slowly or quickly (Pace of Speaking)?

b. Is s/he detailed or does s/he speak in generalities (Results Orientation)?

c. Is s/he cautious, i.e. lots of concerns/worries - a loss avoider; or does s/he throw caution to the wind - a real risk taker looking for wins (Risk Orientation)?

d. Is this person private - prefers one-on-one meetings and discussions; or is s/he gregarious / team oriented - wanting lots of people involved (Social Orientation)?

These are your four (4) chemistry gauges.

2. Now analyze the same for yourself. What's your pace, level of detail, risk profile, social tendency?

3. To get someone to go along with your ideas, concepts, services, etc., that is, to trust and believe you, adjust your gauges to him or her. This will enable you to think and act more like this person and this will mitigate conflicts and put the other person at ease.

a. What of your characteristics mirror those people from above?

b. Which ones don't?

c. How can you adjust your deliveries, and meeting environments? That is, adjust your gauges to fit his/her tendencies. For example; speak faster, not so much detail, give assurances with examples and guarantees, and do it alone.

Tak'n It to the Streets

We all have a style and we unconsciously move into situations using our standard approach without giving it much thought. We pay little attention to the other person's mannerisms unless they are really strange or pronounced. However, people learn to mask in order to be socially acceptable. But when it comes to decision time, they revert to their not so public mannerisms. In order to increase your chances of success you must adjust your style to the prospects' mannerisms. If you adjust, you can connect with all. If you don't, you'll connect with only those like you.

Use the Matching Chemistry's worksheet to gauge yourself on a scale of 1 to 10.

Your Speaking Pace:

(1) Slow ----------------------- (10) Fast

Your Results Orientation:

(1) Detailed / Very Specific ------------- (10) General / Vague

Your Risk Orientation:

(1) Loss Avoider -------------- (10) Winner / Adventurous

Your Social Orientation:

(1) Private -------------------- (10) Wants Others Involved

Now gauge your boss. Gauge three different clients. Gauge your spouse or significant other (if you dare). Notice where there are big (3-4 points) differences. These are trouble spots. If you're off in one of these characteristics, you'll probably be fine. However, if you're off in two or more, you'll struggle with trust and believability.

Therefore, to succeed easily, adjust. Even if this is a first encounter and you've had no coaching, adjust on the fly. It should go without saying, but I will say it anyway, assume the other person is not going to adjust to you. Some will. But those will be the smiling faces that tell lies.

And now I invite you to learn more.

Related Articles

  Why Sales Managers Need to Make Regular Deposits in "The Trust Account"
  C-Level Sales Training Tip 15 - Create the Confidence Necessary to Win-Over C-Level Executives
  Are you believable?
  QuickBooks - How To Reprint Checks That Jammed In The Printer
  If you could offer me one great piece of sales advice what would that be?
  Nonverbal Communication in the Workplace: How Body Postures can Affect Self Esteem (Tip #9)
  Key Elements of The Sale: Trust and Referrals
  Establishing Trust – How to Build Relationships and Make Them Work For You
  Increasing the Velocity of Your Selling Cycle
  The \"Finding Common Ground\" Sales Technique, Is A Myth!
  The Secret to a Successful Online Business: It's All About Building Relationships
  Guerrilla Style
  Marketing and Selling
  Business Friendships
  "Closing the Sale"
  How Leaders Get People to Do What They are Supposed to Do
  A Tryst with Trust
  Sign Your Own Checks
  Attraction Marketing – Part One “The New Frontier”
  How to Become a Celebrity in Your Field

Related Forum Posts

Elements of Style
Re: Essential Leadership skills
Removal of Director paperwork
Re: LEADERS
Re: Kevin's Case Study #10 - When to become an entrepreneur?

Share this article. Fund someone's dream.

Newsletter

Get advice & tips from famous business
owners, new articles by entrepreneur
experts, my latest website updates, &
special sneak peaks at what's to come!

Name:
Email:

Popular Articles

Using Internet Marketing For Your Success

Reinventing Yourself as a Manager

How to Increase Your Sales in Insurance

Suggestions

Email us your ideas on how to make our
website more valuable! Thank you Sharon
from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for
your suggestions to make the newsletter
look like the website and profile younger
entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez.