Winning the Away Game

Although I was never a great athlete in High School, I understood that any team had a disadvantage when playing an "away" game.  

The support group of people was greatly reduced while the Home team had more support. The travel and different surroundings put added stress on the players and the comfort of being home was absent.  

Yet, a winning team played as many "away" games as "home" games and had to win the majority of both!  

When we look at sales, motivating others or changing behaviors, are we also playing an away game? Are we at a disadvantage because it is an "away" game?  

Here are some insights to give you the winning advantage......... 

There are two keys I'll cover in this article that will give you an edge in the "away" game. But first let's explain the "away" game.  

Ultimately if anyone buys something, changes a behavior or gets motivated, it is because a choice was made by that individual. This choice does not happen in the salesperson's, manager or parents mind, it happens in that individuals mind. Thus the "away" game happens within the other persons head.  

This is where the two keys come in... 

1. For the first I'll quote one of our mentors and what his research has proven to be true. 

"There are a number of qualities and characteristics that are crucial to success in persuasion and influence...in every usage from therapy to selling. Above all else is one characteristic that dwarfs all of the rest... Empathy.  

Nothing is more important than empathy for someone who wants to motivate others to change."  Dr. Kevin Hogan

Wait a minute, what about my product, my attitude, my selling skills, my great personality?  

Yes, those elements can make a difference in any persuasion effort. However, the main foundation of any persuasion is creating an "I Trust You" belief in the other party!  

After all, in your own personal choices, do you say yes or even consider a yes if there is any question of "Trust"?  

Therefore, the fastest way to build trust is to have Empathy for the other party. This means you can put yourself in their shoes, feel their emotions, understand their position and situation as though it was your own!  

Yet you are able to see past the emotion and situation and provide a true solution for them.  

Of course this means using tools such as highly effective questioning and superman type listening skills. We all know this; we simply have to make the choice to apply these skills more often.  

2. The second key can help you to apply that effective questioning and superman type listening.  

Through out my years of training companies, the one element that seems to always be a challenge for many is getting themselves, their product or their idea out of the way!  

I would ask you to think about your last few persuasion efforts: 

• How much of your focus was on your presentation?
• How much of your focus was on you winning?
• How much of your focus was on your product/idea?
• How much of your focus was on how your might be perceived?
• How much of your focus was on how truly understanding the other person?

If your answer is "mostly on the first four" then read on, we have a solution. This will help you convert your product/idea to the other parties language and help you to be more empathetic, thus build more trust! 

• 1. Yes our product knowledge and idea are important and we need to be passionate about it. The challenge is allowing it to get in the way of our persuasion. Because of our passion we "push" the other party to "buy in" rather than allow them to "choose" to say yes.
• 2. If we convert the product/idea into the terms and language of the other party it becomes less "push" and we become more aware of the clues the other party provide us. We can become more Empathic.
• 3. Break your product/idea down to its basic facts. Then list as many benefits as possible from these facts. Yes this takes time and effort. It will also give you great insight into your own product/idea.
• 4. Now take each benefit and really ask yourself what this really does for the other party. Forget about your product/idea and really become the other party. List as many "results" as you can come up with, many will seem not to have a connection or relevance to your product, but that is ok. We are now "talking" in the other parties' language and world. (ie. a handle on a coffee cup results in lower worker compensation rates.)
• 5. Now jot down open questions that are framed or focused on these results. Create several versions of these questions. (ie. How would reducing risk, such as workers compensation, impact your business?)

Now you are with the other party at your "away game". By asking the questions you have prepared the conversation goes to their view and language. You become more aware of which words mean the most to them and how they view their situation through their eyes. You are now more empathetic by truly listening and not judging their answers.  

The other party begins to view you as someone who is trying to truly understand and the trust begins to build. Be prepared, you may discover things no one else has!  

One sign of a truly empathetic conversation is how open and how deep it can become! It might even get down right uncomfortable for both of you!  

Yet this is where true persuasion begins because there is "Trust"!  

The leaders and salespeople that have taken the above steps see a significant growth in their ability to persuade. How about you? 

If you want more on developing this persuasive ability, take a look at the Webinars coming up on Business Expert Webinars.

Till next week...Be all you can be; push the envelop! 

Harlan Goerger