Twisted Thinking
Twisted Thinking
is "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David D. Burns, M.D. This is
a book about depression. The subtitle reads: "Overcome
depression, conquer anxiety, enjoy greater intimacy."
So why am I recommending a book about depression to my
clients? This book is about a type of treatment called
cognitive behavioral therapy. The word "cognition" means
"thought" and this book is a common sense look at changing the
way people think and thus changing their behavior.
In "The Feeling Good Handbook" Dr. Burns lists "The Ten Forms
of Twisted Thinking" that occur when people are depressed.
These ten forms also exist when people are not depressed and
they exist within many, many sales professionals,
entrepreneurs and business owners. If you use any of these
twisted forms (and most of us do in one way or another) it
will negatively impact your sales. I am listing all 10 so that
you can judge for yourself. The following list of "Twisted
Thinking" is paraphrased from "The Feeling Good Handbook" by
David D. Burns, M.D.
1. All-or-nothing thinking
Everything is black or white. If a situation falls short of
perfect, then it's a total failure. An example of all-or-
nothing thinking is dieters who have one cookie and then
proceed to eat the entire bag since they've already blown
their diet. Another example would be sales people who because
they do not have the time to make 100 calls in a day make no
calls.
2. Overgeneralization
Seeing a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of
defeat. People who over generalize use words such as "always"
or "never." "Cold calling never works for me." "Prospects
always reject me."
3. Mental filter
Picking out a single negative detail and dwelling on it to the
exclusion of everything else. An example: You receive many
compliments from your associates about your presentation. If,
however, you receive even one mildly critical comment you
obsess about it and forget about all of the positive comments.
4. Discounting the positive
You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't
count." If you do a good job, you may tell yourself that it
wasn't good enough or that anyone could have done as well.
5. Jumping to conclusions
You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to
support your conclusion. There are two categories here:
**Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is
reacting negatively to you with no evidence to back that up.
You arbitrarily conclude that a prospect does not want to
speak with you with no evidence to back that up.
**Fortune telling: You predict that things will turn out
badly. Before a prospecting call you tell yourself, "They're
not interested." "I'm bothering them." "They'll probably say
'no.'"
6. Magnification
You exaggerate the importance of your (or your company or
product or service) problems and shortcomings. You also
minimize the importance of your (or your company or product or
service) desirable qualities.
7. Emotional reasoning
You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the
way things really are. "I am uncomfortable making cold calls"
therefore "People do not like cold calls" therefore "Cold
calling does not work."
8. "Should" statements
You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or
wanted them to be. "I should have made that sale." "Musts,"
"ought's" and "have to's" are similar offenders. Should
statements that are directed against yourself lead to guilt
and frustration. Should statements that are directed against
other people also lead to anger and frustration. "My prospect
should call me back."
9. Labeling
Labeling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking. You
attach a negative label to yourself or to others. Example: You
make a mistake and then say to yourself, "I'm a loser."
Labeling is quite irrational because you are not the same as
what you do. These labels lead to anger, anxiety, frustration,
and low self-esteem.
You may also label others. When a prospect does not respond as
you had hoped you may tell yourself, "He's a jerk." Then you
feel that the problem is with that person's character instead
of with their thinking or behavior. This makes you feel
hostile and leaves little room for constructive communication.
10. Personalization and blame
You hold yourself personally responsible for an event that
isn't entirely under your control. An appointment with a new
prospect is cancelled because that prospect has left the
company. You think, "If only I was better at prospecting, this
wouldn't happen."
Some people do the opposite. They blame other people or their
circumstances for their problems and they overlook ways that
they might be contributing to the problem. Blame doesn't
usually work very well.
© 2006 Wendy Weiss
Wendy Weiss, "The Queen of Cold Calling," is a sales trainer,
author and sales coach. Her recently released program, "Cold
Calling College," and/or her book, "Cold Calling for Women," can be
ordered by visiting http://www.queenofcoldcalling.com. Contact her at
wendy@wendyweiss.com. Get Wendy's free e-zine at
http://www.queenofcoldcalling.com.
Twisted Thinking - To learn more about this author, visit Wendy Weiss's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
One of my new favorite books to recommend to coaching clients
is "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David D. Burns, M.D. This is
a book about depression. The subtitle reads: "Overcome
depression, conquer anxiety, enjoy greater intimacy."
So why am I recommending a book about depression to my
clients? This book is about a type of treatment called
cognitive behavioral therapy. The word "cognition" means
"thought" and this book is a common sense look at changing the
way people think and thus changing their behavior.
In "The Feeling Good Handbook" Dr. Burns lists "The Ten Forms
of Twisted Thinking" that occur when people are depressed.
These ten forms also exist when people are not depressed and
they exist within many, many sales professionals,
entrepreneurs and business owners. If you use any of these
twisted forms (and most of us do in one way or another) it
will negatively impact your sales. I am listing all 10 so that
you can judge for yourself. The following list of "Twisted
Thinking" is paraphrased from "The Feeling Good Handbook" by
David D. Burns, M.D.
1. All-or-nothing thinking
Everything is black or white. If a situation falls short of
perfect, then it's a total failure. An example of all-or-
nothing thinking is dieters who have one cookie and then
proceed to eat the entire bag since they've already blown
their diet. Another example would be sales people who because
they do not have the time to make 100 calls in a day make no
calls.
2. Overgeneralization
Seeing a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of
defeat. People who over generalize use words such as "always"
or "never." "Cold calling never works for me." "Prospects
always reject me."
3. Mental filter
Picking out a single negative detail and dwelling on it to the
exclusion of everything else. An example: You receive many
compliments from your associates about your presentation. If,
however, you receive even one mildly critical comment you
obsess about it and forget about all of the positive comments.
4. Discounting the positive
You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't
count." If you do a good job, you may tell yourself that it
wasn't good enough or that anyone could have done as well.
5. Jumping to conclusions
You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to
support your conclusion. There are two categories here:
**Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is
reacting negatively to you with no evidence to back that up.
You arbitrarily conclude that a prospect does not want to
speak with you with no evidence to back that up.
**Fortune telling: You predict that things will turn out
badly. Before a prospecting call you tell yourself, "They're
not interested." "I'm bothering them." "They'll probably say
'no.'"
6. Magnification
You exaggerate the importance of your (or your company or
product or service) problems and shortcomings. You also
minimize the importance of your (or your company or product or
service) desirable qualities.
7. Emotional reasoning
You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the
way things really are. "I am uncomfortable making cold calls"
therefore "People do not like cold calls" therefore "Cold
calling does not work."
8. "Should" statements
You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or
wanted them to be. "I should have made that sale." "Musts,"
"ought's" and "have to's" are similar offenders. Should
statements that are directed against yourself lead to guilt
and frustration. Should statements that are directed against
other people also lead to anger and frustration. "My prospect
should call me back."
9. Labeling
Labeling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking. You
attach a negative label to yourself or to others. Example: You
make a mistake and then say to yourself, "I'm a loser."
Labeling is quite irrational because you are not the same as
what you do. These labels lead to anger, anxiety, frustration,
and low self-esteem.
You may also label others. When a prospect does not respond as
you had hoped you may tell yourself, "He's a jerk." Then you
feel that the problem is with that person's character instead
of with their thinking or behavior. This makes you feel
hostile and leaves little room for constructive communication.
10. Personalization and blame
You hold yourself personally responsible for an event that
isn't entirely under your control. An appointment with a new
prospect is cancelled because that prospect has left the
company. You think, "If only I was better at prospecting, this
wouldn't happen."
Some people do the opposite. They blame other people or their
circumstances for their problems and they overlook ways that
they might be contributing to the problem. Blame doesn't
usually work very well.
© 2006 Wendy Weiss
Wendy Weiss, "The Queen of Cold Calling," is a sales trainer,
author and sales coach. Her recently released program, "Cold
Calling College," and/or her book, "Cold Calling for Women," can be
ordered by visiting http://www.queenofcoldcalling.com. Contact her at
wendy@wendyweiss.com. Get Wendy's free e-zine at
http://www.queenofcoldcalling.com.
Twisted Thinking - To learn more about this author, visit Wendy Weiss's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
 | |
 |
No article feedback found. |
| |
Leave Your Feedback |
 | |
| |||
Joe DagerJoe Dager is President of Business901, a progressive coaching company providing no-nonsense direction in areas such as Lean Six Sigma Marketing and organized referral marketing. What others say: In the past 20 years, Joe and I have collaborated on many difficult issues. Joe’s ability to combine his expertise with “out of the box” thinking is unsurpassed. He has always delivered quickly, cost effectively and with ingenuity. A brilliant mind that is always a pleasure to work with.” - James R. If you want to learn more about Business901, start a conversation with us. We can be found @ Web/Blog: Business901.com Web/Blog: FundingYourNonprofit.com LinkedIn Profile Follow me on Twitter - Visit Joe Dager's Website |
|||
|
To learn more about the Evan Elite Author Program please contact us. | |||
 | |
|  |
Subscribe to Wendy's articles
 | |
|
|  |
 | |
|
| |
 | |||||||
|
 | ||
 |
||
 |
||
 |
||
|
| ||
 |
| Have you written articles that would be of value to entrepreneurs? Become an expert on our site by publishing them! Expose yourself to a wide audience, drive more traffic to your website and get more sales! Click Here for details. |
|
|
 |
| Modeling the Masters: Learn the true secrets behind Walt Disney's business success factors & grow your company! Video produced by Phanta Media |
|
|
 |
"Learn straight from Evan how you can Make a Full Time Income (And More) from a Website"
Click Here To Learn More |
|
|
|
|
Get advice & tips from famous business owners, new articles by entrepreneur experts, my latest website updates, & special sneak peaks at what's to come!
|
|
|
 Emotions Drive Behavior Make Attitude Your Ally Increase productivity Business Plan Sample Instant Flyers |
|
 | ||
 |
Top 50 Marketing Blogs
Top Blogs To Watch In 2008 | |
 |
Choose A PR Topic
Press Release Builder | |
| ||
 | ||||
| ||||
|
| ||||
| ||||
|
|
|
|
|
||||||||||||
|
Email us your ideas on how to make our website more valuable! Thank you Sharon from Toronto Salsa Lessons / Classes for your suggestions to make the newsletter look like the website and profile younger entrepreneurs like Jennifer Lopez and Sean Combs!
|
|
|
| ||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||