So you have just bought a new shirt, you bring it home but you decide you do not like it, but there is a problem you can not find the receipt. You bring it back to the shop in the bag and explain that you want to return it and of course here comes the question you were dreading "have you got the receipt?" you say without taking a breath, "I can not find it, I looked everywhere, its not in the car its not in the sitting room......" and so on so forth.
You are not being assertive, you are unsure and you are lacking in self belief. You need to say "no I do not, is that going to be a problem?" this assertiveness can be improved through assertiveness training courses or confidence building courses.
We as a human beings have a constant ability to doubt ourselves. We do not provide ourselves with the reassurance that we deserve. In meetings I have no doubt that you have found yourself saying, "I feel that ...." Feeling is an action such as feeling as though you may get sick as we don't exactly feel something about the meeting in our colon or our lungs so why do we say this. Assertiveness skills training experts believe that what we should say is "I think", "I know" or "I suspect" in order for us to sell our abilities.
This can also apply for the word but, for example a father may say to their child "you're not going to like this when you hear it but..." the father has already lost that child's attention and the child is already coming up with excuses. A line that assertiveness skills trainers use would be "I have an idea that I believe could have some merits". Use your assertiveness to be sure of yourself and this in turn will boost your confidence in repeating this assertive behaviour again.
Picture this, your boss comes into your office and says "Jane/Jack this is Mr. Smith, Mr. Smith this is Jane/Jack" why is it that you are not introduce as Mrs. or Mr.? If this were to happen assertiveness skills trainers will tell you to simply reply with "hello Mr. Smith, pleasure to meet you and what is your first name?" it is vital that there is equality and equal opportunity for all in the work place regardless of sex, race, age or cultures.
Trainers on assertiveness skills training courses believe that it is our right to be treated equally within the work place however in some places to guarantee this fairness and justice people need to become more assertive in their capabilities and competencies.