So many images of executive coaching come from our coaching icons in major league sports. Often, these stereotypes include the coach shouting from the sidelines trying to intimidate the players, the other team and even the referee.
There may be some executives who do better with someone who yells and screams at them. If so, we'd suggest that executive has other needs that executive coaching will not resolve for them.
Most executives have many people talking at them and telling them what they think should be done. What most executives and sales professionals do not have is someone who will listen to them. Any by "listen" - we don't mean sitting half awake nodding yes as the executive speaks. Chances are - they already have some of those "yes nodders" around them. Listening in the sense we recommend is an engaged commitment to truly hear what the executive wants to share. Listening is an active process that includes clarification and responses that tell the executive that we truly are hearing them.
Active listening is a skill and an art. As strange as it may sound - there are listening skills. We learn to listen as part of our formal education. That's one of the reasons why most top coaching organizations requires its coaches to have a university level education or beyond from a challenging institution. To get through that experience successfully - the coach must have learned how to listen to know how to learn. There are some natural elements to listening too - the great executive coach wants to hear what the executive is saying.
The act of sharing is important for the executive. It allows them the time and opportunity to put into words what is happening with them and to them. There is value in the process of talking about what your thinking, what you are feeling and what you are wondering. But this kind of sharing requires the person on the other end of the conversation to be an active listener. Otherwise, the executive might just as well be talking to themselves.
Active listening does require a process of synchronization between the executive and the executive coach. You have to be able to tune in to the executive so that you clearly understand what they are saying. Only by doing the feedback questions and listening checks that active listening uses will you be sure that you really are in synch.
Expect an active listener in your executive coach. We do!
To learn more about this author, visit Grant Fairley's Website.
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