In the old days of networking (and unfortunately, believe it or not, still in most Australian networking organisations) people were taught networking practices that were appallingly rude. It’s no wonder that business social networking is so hated, particularly in Australia, that organisations like BNI have to force their members to attend meetings by threatening to “open their category” if they are absent too often.
And yet networking, done properly, is possibly the number 1 most effective marketing or business building activity one could engage in. So why hasn’t it been done properly? What are the mistakes that people are making that has turned networking into such an unpleasant, unfulfilling and plain awful experience?
Do These Look Familiar?
*** Stuffing your card in someone’s hand the moment you meet.
*** When a complete stranger says “and what do you do?” you respond with a 15-second elevator pitch.
*** “Working the room”.
*** Trying to “make an impression”.
*** Seeking opportunities to capitalise on potential relationships, including looking for sales opportunities amongst fellow members and/or guests.
*** Thinking it was all a waste of time if you didn’t make an appointment for a sales presentation.
*** The following day, sending marketing material to everyone you met.
So What’s Wrong With These Behaviours?
Every single one of these behaviours has in common the fact that they are self interested and rude, most of them akin to making an unsolicited sales pitch. It’s ugly, and the only people who’ll be attracted to someone who behaves like this are similarly self-interested and rude people! Competent and experienced people, people with wide circles of influence, avoid those who demonstrate these behaviours like the plague, for the simple reason that they don’t want their friends, colleagues or clients exposed to it!
What’s the Alternative?
The far better, more effective, more enjoyable alternative turns out to be very simple. Just remember that networking is about finding business soulmates. You absolutely should not be looking for business deals at your networking group’s meetings. You’re looking for business people with whom you have things in common, with whom you can build solid, authentic relationships.
You won’t form those relationships at the meetings themselves. Those meetings are opportunities for members to introduce guests to each other,to grow the membership, to bond the community together, to perhaps take tentative steps toward building relationships, and to consolidate great existing relationships within the context of the community. The real relationship building takes place in the one-to-one more casual meetings in between: the coffees, drinks, lunches, dinners, or sports matches that give people opportunity to get to know each other at a much deeper level.
It is out of these relationships that advocacies, alliances, mentorship, and pipelines of red hot referrals flow. Those things are the natural product of a relationship build on solid foundations. And you can’t fake it! If you try to fake it you will smell!
I have a golden rule of effective networking that I hope is shared by many others. Very simply it’s this: “If it’d be rude around the dining table at home, then it’s rude when you’re networking.
To learn more about this author, visit Christine Sutherland's Website.
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Christine Sutherland
(Visit Christine's Website)
Christine Sutherland is an Australian
entrepreneur, clinical researcher, author
and trainer, and the founder of My Speed
Business Network, an interactive business
community with a vast array of free
business development resources. There is
currently no charge for membership.
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I haven't written much in the Failure series lately, but I've got a doozy or two coming soon. 
