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Six Strategies To Develop Your Confidence!

Guest post by: Meridith Elliott Powell

Article Overview: Why do so many of us struggle with confidence? More importantly are we stuck with the level of or lack of confidence we feel? The answer is yes! As a coach, I know from working with clients that a person's level of confidence is directly related to their overall success and happiness in life.

Six Strategies To Develop Your Confidence!

What is it that makes confidence such an attractive and powerful quality? Why do some people have it and some people don't? Can you really develop self-confidence if you lack it? While confidence has always been a valuable quality to have, I think in these steadily changing times and this shifting economy it is more valuable than ever. Why? Because with so much uncertainty out there, the answers for how to move forward right now, the answers for how to succeed have to come from you. There are plenty of ideas, thoughts and opinions on what to do, how to do it and who to do it with, but there are no guarantees. You have to choose a path that is right for you, create a plan and stick to it if you want to navigate a successful road to the future.

In addition, if you want people to follow you, hire you, or buy from you, you have to project a positive image that resonates optimism and gives others the courage they need to take action. Your ability to motivate yourself, your ability to motivate others, and your ability to keep moving forward in uncertain times is all a direct result of your level of self-confidence. So, if confidence is so important, how do you get it if you don't have it?

First, you have to define for yourself what confidence is. No right or wrong answers here, just your definition of confidence. If you look confidence up in the dictionary it states that confidence is the belief in your own abilities. Pretty good definition, but for me confidence is so much more than that. Confidence is the emotion that I feel that gives me the internal courage to take the actions I need to be successful in any and all situations. It is a combination of strength and humility, that encourages me to take risks, yet is open to take advice, learn and build my own skills through the talents of others. My self-confidence ensures I speak up and out when I have ideas and opinions, readily admit when I am wrong, and be open about my struggles and failures with others so they can derive strength from my challenges.

Once you have defined what confidence is to you, you're ready to take the next steps:

1. Embrace fear and failure. What is stopping you from moving forward? Avoiding things because we are afraid of them or because we don't want to fail will diminish your ability to gain confidence. People who are confident gain their strength from trying something they fear and eventually accomplishing it. Failing at something and continuing to try until they were successful. You must shift your paradigm and realize that fear and failure is gifts and steps you must go through if you want to succeed.

Pushing past fear

a) Start small - pick something easy. Talk to someone you don't know, take an exercise class you're afraid of, call an old friend. Anything, just pick a small task that gives you some anxiety and push through it.

b) Reward yourself - you earned it and deserve it. A massage, a night out, a nap - whatever would make you feel good do it.

c) Immediately try again - keep going! Pick a little bigger issue and perform the process again.

2. Define your vision, your purpose, your values - what is it that you want and why do you want it? If you want to feel confident about what you are doing and why you are doing it, then you need to clearly and articulately define what those are.

Steps

a) Define what you want your life to look like in five years - What will you be doing professionally? Who will be in your personal life? What will your down time be spent doing? How will your life look financially, spiritually and physically?

b) Why do you want this - what is the overall purpose - what will a life like this mean for you? Your family? Your friends?

c) What are your values - what is important to you? What five or six qualities would you want people to use to describe you?

3. Take personal responsibility - Have you made peace with the past and do you own your choices? Personal responsibility is a crucial step in gaining confidence. You are where you are because you chose to be here. No matter the reason- your parents made you; it was the only job you could find; your boss is a jerk or does not listen or promote you; you're shy and don't like people; it doesn't matter the reason own it. Own the fact that the only person you can control is you, and if your life is not working for you, you and you alone have the power to change it. There may be risk involved, it may be uncomfortable, but at the end of the day it is your choice whether you remain where you are or go for something different. Blame is wasted energy that could be powerfully refocused on you.

Steps

a) List at the areas/experiences of your life where things have gone right and gone wrong

b) Honestly ask yourself who you credit or blame for those areas/experiences

c) Reflect and Assess

a. How did you - you alone - put yourself on the path that leads to positive results and negative results?

d) Own it - understand that personal responsibility is the ultimate freedom putting you in control of whatever happens in your life.

4. Do the core work - Do your actions match your words? If you want to be confident what you say and what you do need to be in alignment. Think about every area of your life - financial, personal, professional, health, spiritual, and are in or out of alignment with your vision, your purpose and most importantly your values. Do your actions match your words? Confidence is about integrity, and if you struggle with any aspect of your life being transparent then you will struggle with confidence. The areas of your life do not have to be perfect, and your problems do not have to be solved. Instead you just need to be honest with yourself, and take the steps to celebrate your strengths and commit to work on your weaknesses.

Steps

a) Make a list of the following areas of your life: financial, personal, professional, health and spiritual

b) Ask yourself what your vision is for each area

c) Ask yourself if currently your actions match your vision

d) Determine whose responsibility it is for lack of alignment (hint - yours!)

e) Own that

5. Make a plan - You know where you want to go, you understand where you are, and you've taken responsibility for your actions. So, now you just need to make a plan on what, where and how you are going to focus to go from your current state to your desired state. What few strategies and behaviors are you going to prioritize in your life that will move you forward? How will you hold yourself accountable?

Steps

a) Keep working from the steps above

b) Determine for each category what one or two things you could do to bring your actions and words into alignment

c) Review your vision

d) What three areas of your life could you focus on that would help you move towards your ultimate vision

e) What actions will you prioritize in your life - every week - that will move your towards your vision

f) How will you hold yourself accountable to do these actions

6. Be Mindful. This is almost a bonus step, as I think it is the most powerful. Be aware and question why you make the choices you do, the negative thoughts in your head, the times that you choose to take a risk versus when you don't, how you feel after tackling and accomplishing something new. Mindfulness helps us understand and embrace our emotions, so we can realistically address the issues we need to, and understand how to help ourselves remain more positive and more action-oriented.

Steps

a) When you do something or are about to do something that will prevent you from reaching your vision (i.e. negative self talk; spending money you don't have etc..) just ask yourself:

b) Why am I choosing to do this?

c) What will the ultimate result be - positive or negative?

d) What am I avoiding by choosing to take this action?

Confidence is definitely something that can be, and I believe (to be authentic) must be learned. Follow my steps or create your own, and then commit yourself to helping others develop theirs. That is my last step, once you have gained the skill your skill will be maximized by sharing your wisdom with others.

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Article Tags: gaining confidence, lack of confidence, personal responsibility, strategies to gain confidence, success and happiness, working with clients



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