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Eric Cartman Teaches The Young Entrepreneur

Guest post by: Ken Sundheim

Article Overview: Fat, foul-mouthed, racist? call him what you want, but Eric Cartman is, without doubt, an entrepreneur. What traits make the young Colorado inhabitant both so lovable and so entrepreneurial?

Eric Cartman Teaches The Young Entrepreneur

Fat, foul-mouthed, racist? call him what you want, but Eric Cartman is, without doubt, an entrepreneur. What traits make the young Colorado inhabitant both so lovable and so entrepreneurial?

Here is where Cartman excels where most entrepreneurs fall short:

Cartman is no stranger to hitting the phones and making the sale.

To some, the term cold calling is a bad word that amounts to unfocused marketing in order to blindly sell a product. Not so to Eric Cartman, who focuses on its positive aspect and knows that sometimes you have to hit the phones to get the word out regarding your newest product.

In episode 78 entitled "Kenny dies," Cartman mistakenly stumbles upon a vast number of unborn fetuses and immediately attempts to make the most of the situation and monetize his new discovery.

While many would have done the moral thing and return the fetuses for the good of mankind, the fat fourth grader opens a phone book and begins to call institutions that buy stem cells. Cartman skips over morality and jumps straight to figuring out who will pay the highest price.

Cartman showcases a very rarely used negotiation technique to increase his profit margin. Every potential buyer who tries to underbid is informed by Cartman they are by "Breaking his balls." His persistence to sell at or above market price via cold-calling goes even further when he informs one potential buyer that "Just like the fetuses, I was not born yesterday, either," a very offensive phrase that was followed by a devious chuckle.

Ultimately, Cartman is able to tap an unsaturated market and find clientele. Being an entrepreneur is about success and making the sale. Do not be afraid to use old techniques, but reinvent them to fit your needs and services.

While some sit around, Cartman will take advantage of any money-making venture.

In Season 6's "My Future Self 'n' Me" the parents of South Park hire actors who pretend to be their children from the future. These future versions of the young South Park children are complete losers who have health problems from consistent drug and alcohol use.

When young Stan Marsh becomes skeptical regarding the authenticity of these future replicas, he seeks revenge in conjunction with another little boy popularly known as "Butters," a widely used nickname throughout the Colorado town for Butters Stotch.

Recognizing the demand for parental revenge by the boys, Eric Cartman springs into action by opening a "Poop Swatch" revenge store where his main business consists of smearing poop all over parents' walls to remind the parents that tricking the youngsters in unethical.

Opening this business is already entrepreneurial in nature, but Eric takes it a step further and clearly displays an ability to make his business customer-centric when he brings several colors of poop to the table in which potential clients Stan Marsh and Butters Stotch can choose from.

Although his customers want a weird and disgusting product, Cartman nevertheless caters to their needs. Know your clients, and tell them what they want. Even if they do not need it, they will buy it if you market it as a must-have item.

Cartman ignores taboos to find new, profitable industries.

Most young children would mourn a friend who is hit by a bus, but most young children are not Eric Cartman.

In the episode titled, "Do The Handicapped Go To Hell?" the overweight entrepreneur starts his own church after death-prone, Kenny gets hit by a bus and ends up in Mexico. Cartman, seeing this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, puts on his best preacher voice and uses a bullhorn to reach the children of South Park.

While many see Cartman's rants as an alternative to the adult run church, Cartman has dollars and cents on his mind. He almost succeeds in making his church profitable, but when friends Stan and Kyle find Cartman rolling in piles of money like Scrooge McDuck, the gig is over.

While many see religion and monetary gain as mutually exclusive, the fat 4th grader sees only the bottom line. Being an entrepreneur means breaking into new fields and industries. Obviously, religion may not be the best example, but ready and prepared to grab an opportunity when it arises.

Don't rule out Eric Cartman simply because he is a 10-year old cartoon character. Take his techniques and employ them in your field to start becoming a successful entrepreneur.

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