Anger Dont Get Mad and Dont Get Even Part Two
Anger Dont Get Mad and Dont Get Even Part Two
If you find something no more than momentarily annoying – like a fly or wasp that buzzes past your ear – then you probably don’t need to take any action. However, if you can identify the key factors, actions or behaviours (in yourself or others) that make you anything from, say, "a little uneasy" to "red-faced and furious", then you know the ones you need to find ways of dealing with
Learn to respond – learn not to react
This is very simple to state; yet often extremely difficult to achieve. Reacting is about shouting back; allowing your anger to take control (even if only for a moment). Responding is about finding solutions; about learning and managing avoidance tactics. It is also about understanding why such “anger moments” are happening e.g. considering the other person’s point of view etc.
Your key “responder factors”
Following-on from the previous point, here are five areas to consider to help you start the process of responding rather than reacting:
# Take time to consider the situation rather than reacting instinctively (and without thought). Or, to put it a more traditional way - try counting to ten!
# Accept that it’s okay for other to have different opinions, priorities, needs or beliefs to you. It's equally okay for the reverse to be true. If everyone shared the same opinion - very little progress would be made, for example, in business areas where improvements are needed
# Genuinely listen to and neutrally question what others are saying. If you are asking “facts-please” questions, it’s very difficult for you to be arguing! And, much easier to really understand where the other person is coming from
# Have a group of friends with whom you can occasionally – and safely – let off a little steam (without this becoming a moan and fury fest)
# Understand that, on most occasions, if someone is shouting at you – it isn’t personal. It’s their frustration about the situation coming to the fore. They are annoyed or angry about what has happened; it might just happen to be you that is standing in front of them at that moment
Please examine the further two articles in this series
- where we consider both short and long-term solutions
Anger Dont Get Mad and Dont Get Even Part Two - To learn more about this author, visit Gordon Veniard's Website.
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Learn to understand your levels of anger
If you find something no more than momentarily annoying – like a fly or wasp that buzzes past your ear – then you probably don’t need to take any action. However, if you can identify the key factors, actions or behaviours (in yourself or others) that make you anything from, say, "a little uneasy" to "red-faced and furious", then you know the ones you need to find ways of dealing with
Learn to respond – learn not to react
This is very simple to state; yet often extremely difficult to achieve. Reacting is about shouting back; allowing your anger to take control (even if only for a moment). Responding is about finding solutions; about learning and managing avoidance tactics. It is also about understanding why such “anger moments” are happening e.g. considering the other person’s point of view etc.
Your key “responder factors”
Following-on from the previous point, here are five areas to consider to help you start the process of responding rather than reacting:
# Take time to consider the situation rather than reacting instinctively (and without thought). Or, to put it a more traditional way - try counting to ten!
# Accept that it’s okay for other to have different opinions, priorities, needs or beliefs to you. It's equally okay for the reverse to be true. If everyone shared the same opinion - very little progress would be made, for example, in business areas where improvements are needed
# Genuinely listen to and neutrally question what others are saying. If you are asking “facts-please” questions, it’s very difficult for you to be arguing! And, much easier to really understand where the other person is coming from
# Have a group of friends with whom you can occasionally – and safely – let off a little steam (without this becoming a moan and fury fest)
# Understand that, on most occasions, if someone is shouting at you – it isn’t personal. It’s their frustration about the situation coming to the fore. They are annoyed or angry about what has happened; it might just happen to be you that is standing in front of them at that moment
Please examine the further two articles in this series
- where we consider both short and long-term solutions
Anger Dont Get Mad and Dont Get Even Part Two - To learn more about this author, visit Gordon Veniard's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
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