Communication Skills - How to be a Better Listener
Communication Skills - How to be a Better Listener
Prejudices
This is two-sided. One is the feelings (positive or negative) that you have about the other party to the communication. The other is how they feel about you. It's vital to listen without prejudice.
Brain speed
Most people speak at between 120/180 words per minute. At the same time, your brain works at 500/550 wpm. Therefore you need to concentrate fully on what's being said - and also learn not to interrupt simply to speed things along. You need to avoid the situation where your mind wanders to fill up this “empty space” between the speaking and listening speeds
Try the following "active listening" techniques -
# Teach yourself to carefully listen to the content - and to watch the body language which surrounds it. Check that the two messages are the same - if not, what the body is saying is likely to be the more accurate. Be careful not to focus on how something is said - thereby missing on out on what has been said
# Listen to understand - rather than simply to respond. If, whilst listening, in your mind you're forming a statement, then you're getting ready to respond. If you are forming questions, then you're trying to understand
# Provide verbal signals - sound like "uh-huh" "mmm" - words like "yep" "I see" "go on" "really" - demonstrate that you are listening
# Provide non-verbal signals - such as eye contact, smiling, nodding, leaning forward, tilting your head slightly forward and to one side etc.
# Check your comprehension - summarize the other person's key points and ask them to confirm that you have correctly gathered the information
# Repetition - repeat their last sentence or key points back to them - and then follow this with an inquiring question for further information
So, work at developing your listening skills - and enjoy the results
Communication Skills How to be a Better Listener - To learn more about this author, visit Gordon Veniard's Website.
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One guaranteed way to annoy people is to appear not to be listening to what they say. The key word is appear. You might be paying attention, but it might not seem that way. What you need to display is active listening. There are some barriers which can get in the way of listening, and you need to be aware of a couple of these -
Prejudices
This is two-sided. One is the feelings (positive or negative) that you have about the other party to the communication. The other is how they feel about you. It's vital to listen without prejudice.
Brain speed
Most people speak at between 120/180 words per minute. At the same time, your brain works at 500/550 wpm. Therefore you need to concentrate fully on what's being said - and also learn not to interrupt simply to speed things along. You need to avoid the situation where your mind wanders to fill up this “empty space” between the speaking and listening speeds
Try the following "active listening" techniques -
# Teach yourself to carefully listen to the content - and to watch the body language which surrounds it. Check that the two messages are the same - if not, what the body is saying is likely to be the more accurate. Be careful not to focus on how something is said - thereby missing on out on what has been said
# Listen to understand - rather than simply to respond. If, whilst listening, in your mind you're forming a statement, then you're getting ready to respond. If you are forming questions, then you're trying to understand
# Provide verbal signals - sound like "uh-huh" "mmm" - words like "yep" "I see" "go on" "really" - demonstrate that you are listening
# Provide non-verbal signals - such as eye contact, smiling, nodding, leaning forward, tilting your head slightly forward and to one side etc.
# Check your comprehension - summarize the other person's key points and ask them to confirm that you have correctly gathered the information
# Repetition - repeat their last sentence or key points back to them - and then follow this with an inquiring question for further information
So, work at developing your listening skills - and enjoy the results
Communication Skills How to be a Better Listener - To learn more about this author, visit Gordon Veniard's Website.
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John BrennanJohn Brennan Ed.D. Dr. Brennan is President of Interpersonal Development, LLC, a training and development firm. Interpersonal Development has provided sales training and coaching to more than 3,000 sales reps from over 100 companies. A native of Australia, Dr. Brennan received his doctorate from the University of Rochester. His dissertation researched the effectiveness of Behavioral Modeling Technology in training people in interpersonal skills. While he has spent most of his career designing or delivering training, he was also a Vice-President of Sales of a training and development franchise with operations in 25 markets. Dr. Brennan has designed and delivered sales training in North America, Asia, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. He has been a guest speaker at numerous national and regional professional conferences. When Microsoft wanted Best Practices articles on sales for their web site, they called Dr. Brennan. The results are at http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/FX011387391033.aspx His firm’s clients have included Volvo, The Prudential, Merrill Lynch, Eastman Kodak, Gannett, Equifax Europe, the Economist Group and countless small businesses. - Visit John Brennan's Website |
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