Do you remember your early childhood – and the effort you made when you wanted to achieve something? If it didn’t work, then you’d simply keep trying it. It wouldn’t be a case of: “Well I’ve tried that and I can’t do it” – you’d be having another go. Otherwise, you would never even have learned to walk! How often have you, as an adult, spent more time thinking about (or justifying) how it isn’t possible rather than simply giving it another go?
Remember – still as a child – how you listened to exactly what was said? In other words, you took everything that was said to you in a literal way. As an adult, how much time do you spend trying to work out what you think somebody actually meant by what they said? Maybe they were being literal!
How often does a Customer, colleague, friend or family-member ask if they can talk to you – and then end up doing nothing more than listening to you? In other words, you are more eager to show your skills (or provide help) than actually to truly listen when someone wants to speak. Is the bigger gift being a “giver” or “receiver”? With Customers, you don’t learn much whilst you are talking. And, often, neither does the Customer!
If someone is upset or angry, how often do you go and ask them: “What’s wrong”? However, that’s probably none of your business! On the other hand, it might be better if you were simply to go and ask: “How can I help you?” Apart from anything else, you’ve started to turn a negative into a positive – whether it be with a Customer, colleague, or a friend outside of work How often do you criticise a person – rather than their behaviour? Do you say: “You’re a really annoying so-and-so”? Or: “I get really frustrated when you (description of behaviour)”? You are more likely to gain a positive response to the latter – and end up in an argument with the former!
How often have you received a gift which the person giving it thought would be “good” or “right” for you? How often have you given such gifts? Shouldn’t you be giving and receiving the gifts that the recipient truly wants?! This can be physical gifts – or advice!
What’s the greatest gift that you possess? Is it your knowledge, style, intelligence, dress sense, commitment etc? Or, is it your smile? After all, it’s the first thing you “give” to another when meeting them – and, equally, it’s the first thing you receive from them (hopefully)? And, when meeting someone for the first time, it’s the most important point of all – the starting point. How do you feel when somebody can’t be bothered to smile when meeting or greeting you?
Did you know that the finest steel gets worked through the hottest furnace – something to remember the next time you are having a tough time!
(Continued in part two)
Making the Most of Yourself - Part One - To learn more about this author, visit Gordon Veniard's Website.
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