Saying "No" - Tips To Help - Part Two

1. Avoid any kind of apology when saying “no”

I know that you are a polite soul – but there is a time and place for everything! If you are saying “no” in an assertive manner, then you cannot add an apology e.g. “I’m sorry but I won’t be able to…” By making the apology, you are suggesting that you should have been able to help. It’s almost as if the other person is entitled to demand your assistance whenever they want to!

2. Avoid making excuses that no-one will believe – even if they are true!

“I’m sorry, I’m washing my hair tonight” is the classic! Even if you start to provide what you feel are valid reasons for not doing something – they’re only going to sound like silly excuses. Also, these give the other party a chance to find a way round them so that you can do what you don’t want to. Remember, in many cases you are saying “no” because that’s a choice you are allowed to make (and have decided to); not because you are physically incapable of taking the requested action

3. Never ask if it’s alright to refuse – because it won’t be!

Again, you become a victim of your own politeness. It is within your authority to say “no” – therefore never ask anyone else for their permission to do so. If you do, you are handing over your authority for decisions 4. Don’t try to make others “see” the rightness of your decision You have the right to reach your very own decisions; therefore you don’t have to convince others that it’s okay for them to let you do what you have decided to do. Apart from anything else, others won’t always agree, no matter how hard you try to convince them 5. Say “no” one time more than they are prepared to ask Some people will try and wear your resistance down – one technical term for this is “kids”! So, for the repeat askers, have a repetitive form of words to use – and don’t change them - until they accept the decision e.g. “No, I won’t be doing that”. Eventually, your message will get through to even the most persistent FINAL THOUGHT: BE PREPARED TO ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES You have the right to say a firm “no” in any situation – in work or outside. Bu, the other side is that you have also to be willing to accept any consequences - good or bad – of taking this action. That’s the two-sided deal here!



Saying "No" - Tips To Help - Part Two - To learn more about this author, visit Gordon Veniard's Website.

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