Saying "No" - Tips To Help - Part Two
Saying "No" - Tips To Help - Part Two
I know that you are a polite soul – but there is a time and place for everything! If you are saying “no” in an assertive manner, then you cannot add an apology e.g. “I’m sorry but I won’t be able to…” By making the apology, you are suggesting that you should have been able to help. It’s almost as if the other person is entitled to demand your assistance whenever they want to!
2. Avoid making excuses that no-one will believe – even if they are true!
“I’m sorry, I’m washing my hair tonight” is the classic! Even if you start to provide what you feel are valid reasons for not doing something – they’re only going to sound like silly excuses. Also, these give the other party a chance to find a way round them so that you can do what you don’t want to. Remember, in many cases you are saying “no” because that’s a choice you are allowed to make (and have decided to); not because you are physically incapable of taking the requested action
3. Never ask if it’s alright to refuse – because it won’t be!
Again, you become a victim of your own politeness. It is within your authority to say “no” – therefore never ask anyone else for their permission to do so. If you do, you are handing over your authority for decisions
4. Don’t try to make others “see” the rightness of your decision
You have the right to reach your very own decisions; therefore you don’t have to convince others that it’s okay for them to let you do what you have decided to do. Apart from anything else, others won’t always agree, no matter how hard you try to convince them
5. Say “no” one time more than they are prepared to ask
Some people will try and wear your resistance down – one technical term for this is “kids”! So, for the repeat askers, have a repetitive form of words to use – and don’t change them - until they accept the decision e.g. “No, I won’t be doing that”. Eventually, your message will get through to even the most persistent
FINAL THOUGHT: BE PREPARED TO ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES
You have the right to say a firm “no” in any situation – in work or outside. Bu, the other side is that you have also to be willing to accept any consequences - good or bad – of taking this action. That’s the two-sided deal here!
Saying No Tips To Help Part Two - To learn more about this author, visit Gordon Veniard's Website.
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1. Avoid any kind of apology when saying “no”
I know that you are a polite soul – but there is a time and place for everything! If you are saying “no” in an assertive manner, then you cannot add an apology e.g. “I’m sorry but I won’t be able to…” By making the apology, you are suggesting that you should have been able to help. It’s almost as if the other person is entitled to demand your assistance whenever they want to!
2. Avoid making excuses that no-one will believe – even if they are true!
“I’m sorry, I’m washing my hair tonight” is the classic! Even if you start to provide what you feel are valid reasons for not doing something – they’re only going to sound like silly excuses. Also, these give the other party a chance to find a way round them so that you can do what you don’t want to. Remember, in many cases you are saying “no” because that’s a choice you are allowed to make (and have decided to); not because you are physically incapable of taking the requested action
3. Never ask if it’s alright to refuse – because it won’t be!
Again, you become a victim of your own politeness. It is within your authority to say “no” – therefore never ask anyone else for their permission to do so. If you do, you are handing over your authority for decisions
4. Don’t try to make others “see” the rightness of your decision
You have the right to reach your very own decisions; therefore you don’t have to convince others that it’s okay for them to let you do what you have decided to do. Apart from anything else, others won’t always agree, no matter how hard you try to convince them
5. Say “no” one time more than they are prepared to ask
Some people will try and wear your resistance down – one technical term for this is “kids”! So, for the repeat askers, have a repetitive form of words to use – and don’t change them - until they accept the decision e.g. “No, I won’t be doing that”. Eventually, your message will get through to even the most persistent
FINAL THOUGHT: BE PREPARED TO ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES
You have the right to say a firm “no” in any situation – in work or outside. Bu, the other side is that you have also to be willing to accept any consequences - good or bad – of taking this action. That’s the two-sided deal here!
Saying No Tips To Help Part Two - To learn more about this author, visit Gordon Veniard's Website.
Like this article? Share it with your friends
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George LudwigGeorge Ludwig is a recognized authority on sales strategy and peak performance psychology. An international speaker, trainer, and corporate consultant, he helps clients like Johnson & Johnson, Abbott Laboratories, Northwestern Mutual, CIGNA, and numerous others improve sales force effectiveness and performance. Though it's George's strategies and processes that help corporations increase productivity and performance, it's his tremendous energy and dynamism that spark the transformation. Again and again, clients remark on his amazing ability to unleash human capacity and inspire men and women to break out of their comfort zones. The result is a whole new type of salesperson. His customized presentations teach achievers to make stunning advances in their lives. From helping salespeople realize cherished dreams to helping corporations exponentially accelerate revenue streams, George Ludwig leaves audiences and individuals empowered, emboldened, and clamoring for more. George is the best-selling author of Power Selling: Seven Strategies for Cracking the Sales Code and Wise Moves: 60 Quick Tips to Improve Your Position in Life & Business. - Visit George Ludwig's Website |
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